Chubby Behemoth - Stomp For Our Dinner

Episode Date: March 29, 2026

SEE THE BOYS LIVE - https://punchup.live/samtallent     Sponsors: IndaCloud - If you're 21 or older, get 35% OFF your first order @ IndaCloud with code CHUBBY at https://inda.shop/CHUBBY #indacloudpod     Cash App - #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http:///cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.     Chubbies - Chubbies is here to keep you comfy & looking good year-round. Get 20% off with code chubby at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/chubby #chubbiespod     PATREON EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth     This week the fellas are back together in bed. Sam would love to see someone stumble into a pond, had a bindle today, and thought socks were a fool's garment. Nathan got left alone with some pate, could get in the bag, and thought he sold a shirt but it was a pillow case.     00:00 Matching Socks 01:42 Dog Walking A Dog 04:26 The Dog's Driving The Bus 08:02 16k Steps 09:38 Berry Clouds 10:57 Concerned With The Jars 11:58 Setting Records 14:40 Who Knows What's Next? 16:48 Old Stomping Grounds 18:33 For The Coyotes 22:31 Mid Pizza 25:33 Getting Her Groove Back 29:26 Making Her Own Fun 31:55 I Fear Rice 33:40 The Bindle 36:34 He Was A Traveling Man 39:59 You're Becker 41:50 Both Sock And Shoe 43:03 The Egg Man 45:43 Speaking Of Mouthfuls 47:59 The Lingo 52:33 French Farmer Meal 54:10 Razor Flip Phone 58:26 Take My Nub On A Walk     Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth   MORE WIDE WORLD: @SamTallent   Pre-Order Sam's New Book - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593978897/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3I4LOBQ02YIGW&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.k5eCApJdjwVfn7hSelWi5VdRMlVrzKa4zf68ficcjcg.tZZOiI0nB0n3kkWiGAbidMQy5yUS_MkvmEIaXp-LXjo&dib_tag=se&keywords=sam+tallent+brut&qid=1769522903&sprefix=sam+tallent+,aps,181&sr=8-1&dplnkId=90401c83-a6a0-4ad4-999e-ece570a5d320&nodl=1

Okay, then I think we're good with another episode of Are They Feet? You have feet for sure. I've got two. I'm wearing matching socks, which is very rare for this production. Usually switch it up? I usually don't care. Usually just throw them on. It's like the last vestige I have.

Manic pixie dream boy. No, it's just like, I don't know. There's something wrong with me. I also fall asleep a lot with just one sock on completely nude. Right sock on. Like I take off my sleeve, I take off my sock, and then for some reason I'm like, exhausted. Fuck you, dad. Yeah, I'm tuckered out.

That's the both worlds. It's muscle confusion, both with your feet. I have a laziness to me. I don't know what it is. You've said that being messy is an F you to mom, but you just, but with your feet, it was dad because dad did the laundry. No, dad always would come in and be like, all right, night, night, Sammy, take my socks off. My feet would be so cold. and the mice would chew on my toes.

He was sleeping in the car. Yeah, my dad was in the pathfinder. He's like, I need mittens. Your feet will be fine. I got you size 13s. You'll never grow into them. You'll never grow into them. You got a bunch of blankies.

Hey, Sam, you're a size 11 to 12, but we're going to make you wear 1314s for all your childhood. Because I'm guessing they were cheaper at Ross. Grow into them? I don't know. I have no idea. Pinch a penny to grow an inch. No one should have allowed me to wear 13s.

they should have measured my foot once and been like, oh, this is ridiculous. What are you trying to prove? Are you with us? Mm-hmm. Okay. Listening. Okay. Passive listening.

Yeah, yeah. You're barely here. Your dog-brained. No eye contact. Man. There was a, you said it right. There was a dog walk and a dog earlier today. Yeah.

I mean, I think he was feeble and his wife was watching from behind because he didn't remember her. Make sure they're going, staying on land. Otherwise, he might just go right into the water. He's like Eileen's blind friend, just wandering into the koi pond. I'd love to see someone stumble into a pond live in a park. That'd be great. I thought that the dog was going to drag the old man up a hill at one point. Because, yeah, just, you know, beautiful park.

A bunch of people there. Have your dog there. Thank you for having it on a leash. Thank you for having a name on the dog that I could read. Its name was Stormy. Thank you for being a friend. friend. Yeah.

But just all of a sudden, dog up on us, by us. In my lap. Yeah. We were a secluded little mangrove too. Right. Right. Trying to be a little out of the way. Doing a J.

Yeah. Not making it everybody else's problem. Listening to one woman in a group of four. Listening to a punisher, a lady punish, lady terminator. In two languages. She would switch inside out while she was dominating the conversation. She was annoying in Spanish and English. Yeah.

Yeah. I hadn't noticed that it was just her talking. I wondered if she was the loud one, and there was more of a roundtable discussion. No, I assessed the situation. I addressed you, and I knew. You were doing words per minute, and it wasn't even close.

Oh, yeah, no, I couldn't type as fast as she was jabbering. But yeah, there was a feeble man with sunglasses. Well, the long leash where it's like, oh, hey. And, like, I love dogs. You hate them. They don't hate dogs. You don't want to strange dog. people in the world.

And it's like, human beings I can talk to. Yeah, dogs never told me about like a cool movie or like, you know, a song that I might enjoy. New dance move. Yeah, exactly. A dog's either in my lap and someone's saying,

down, down, all right, okay, down, or it's ignoring me. Scooter. Yeah. But yeah, it was funny to have the long leash and who's walking who because the dog

is probably pretty young. The guy literally, obviously old. He should have had the leash, the man should have had just tied around the front of his belt and he should have just been walking. Dick first.

Yeah, just leading with his crotch just like floating through the park because that's all he could really pull off. It was a literal who's a weighted blanket. Yeah, while his ghost wife is just behind them quietly crying. Yeah, not saying a word. Yeah.

Not allowed. Remembering how it was. When he used to Ultramarathon. They were in this park a thousand times but now he doesn't remember. God, but yeah, it was. a hell of a day. It was a nice day. I would have loved to see that guy get dragged

dick first up that hill. Because I was like observing the park and then every now and then you would just see the man and his dog like, ooh, cut through frame and then they're walking through the lavender field behind. Next thing, it's like in Jackass 4.5, he's on top of the

bus stop somehow. Next time I see him, the dog's driving the bus. I said last night, that woman that was getting pranked. Also, is it okay for those pranks? to have happened in jackass during COVID. Everybody's scared. They have the face shields on and then they get

dicked around by the jackass guys. I mean, it was a break from the monotony. That must have been a welcome change. And this was filmed in October. But also, instead of that woman really freaking out, she seems to not sell it very, very much. Maybe she thinks that she got hit by a bus when she went to get the coffee.

So the prank is, is Johnny Knoxville's an old guy. Rachel Wolfson's like, hey, Can you babysit my grandpa for a minute? Don't let him smoke. Don't let him smoke Sigs. Immediately, Jai Knoxville, as Irving, the old man, says, hey, can you grab me a coffee from around the corner? The woman's like, sure, of course.

Next thing she knows, she comes back. Irving in his wheelchair are on top of a bus stop. A little best of buell, yeah. Which is the craziest thing that could ever happen. See, and so if you're that lady, you laugh right then. You're like, okay. What? But your one front of your mind is that he's gone or he's smoking.

Yes. But the fact that he's up there is so funny. And I wonder if she knew. It's like, you're looking around on ground level. She's like, come on. And then they're like, all right, we'll fake it. And then she's like, no. What happened?

What happened? What pass? Gablo. Abuelo. Yeah. And then, of course, he starts smoking. And she says no smoking. Yeah, that's great.

But when he goes to smoke, he lights his sweater on fire. So now he's on fire. And that's when you said, all right. Come on. Come on. She's got to know her legs. Her legs getting pulled. Yeah, this is too much.

Where's Jamie Kennedy? Yeah. She said, don't there's not Jaime Kennedy? Nick Cannon's got to be nearby. I hope Ashton Coucher's not here. I fear Coucher. Oh, Coucher, no. Now, he wasn't, he was just a friend of.

She really doesn't, like, pull her hair. or scream she holds the coffee she doesn't spike the coffees like you got get down she takes her big igly water bottle and splashes his arm to put out the fire which is quick thinking no that'd be funny if it was yeah scalds them or she she has two coffees so like they gave her the coffees right from that fake truck and then she goes to like throw it and a bunch of snakes fly out of it and the other lean lube snake yeah the other one has slime in it now we're talking. It's full of spiders.

She's like, oh, I need a coffee to think. Drink so much of spiders. That's good. Perfect. Yeah. Uh-oh. Irving's back on the bus stop. Yeah.

Let's get that room tone. Yeah, let's give ten seconds of that. Ten seconds of silence. Perfect. How long is that going to be going on, you think? Hopefully, 40 more minutes. Well, enough for it to be funny.

Yeah. Because right now it's not that funny. Right now it's just a, problem. Okay. All right. God is real. Not bad. And they said San Francisco was over. I got bad news for all the haters of the bay. I was all over this damn city today. 16,000 steps. Getting it in. Embarcadero, Wharf. Came back, woke up Lund. I said, hey, buddy, you alive in there? I was on the toilet. You were on the toilet. You responded to my text this morning of, I said, what's up, Lund? Which I thought was funny to call you lined and text.

And I got a message back from you. Not much. What are you up to? Not much, comma, you? Yeah, not much. You? And I was like, well, that's a funny response to send from bed when he just woke up. No.

You got tricked by AI. AI. Yeah. My phone does my texting for me. It knows what I want to say. Yes. And it sounds like me. Takes the thinking out of it.

Even better than the real thing. Yeah. Yeah, what am I supposed to come up with? Another day, another dollar. All of your suggested texts are just, who cares and oh good. Fuck you. Leave me alone. Jerk off motion.

We have two beds. We have two rooms for a reason. Yeah. Use them. Look about this great light. You said that you were cursed by the light, but you were actually just too dumb. Yeah. Yeah, this place, I thought that there was a bad gap.

And there was. Mind the gap. It would have been mitigated with the blackout. curtain. It's provided for you. Perfect solution. Yeah, but that's all right. I still slept in. I still slept longer than you, so you got to have your little day. Well, last night, we come back after our show, and it's really early.

We do the pod, the Patreon episode, and then we put on Jackass 4.5. But in between, we went out to 7-Eleven and smoked a dubie, and I got some of these berry clouds. You familiar with these, Lund? Haribow. Haribou. You inspected the bag as if I would have left a man behind, but no. No, everybody gets out when I'm driving the submarine.

Well, I figured maybe you filled up and there were two left and you're like, I couldn't possibly. And then you forgot to offer them to me. No, no, no. I wasn't sharing these. Kids and grown-ups love it. And it's like you, soft and fruity. That's on the bag. But I was crushing these silently.

And as soon as I got 20 minutes after the bag was ingested, I was in the K-hole. I was just over here for 4.5. cousin kensington just slumped oh yeah i thought that i was like the urchin i thought that uh i was mistaken when i snooze clocked you you kept waking me up and i'm saying i just need to charge my phone i'm just trying to charge my phone in here you're like you got to go man i should let me charge you should have left you yeah yeah you should have let me drown in my own vomit should let you sleep no but i did i i went back to my room afterward went to bed got a lot of sleep. You stayed in here

and ate patte. I should have taken that patte. No, I mean, I didn't open either of the two. Did you think I got into those? You got into the jars. I just tried the jars. I was concerned with the jars more than the bricks, because the jars travel well when they're not open.

That's all right. I'm glad you got in there. I mean, I was like leaving a fucking loaded gun with Kurt Cobain. I knew it was going to happen. You know, I said my goodbyes when I left. You've got to bring those. I've got to bring them. All right. some of them bring them all that loaf of bread was uh very much diminished and dented yeah i got it during your tenure i got into that don't leave it behind well i left last night

on the nod you know i was like oh goes yeah i just got to get my stuff tried a bunch of hotel other rooms uh-huh i went and i got my bag that i keep like behind a dumpster and on the wharf And that's walking around. I have a dog now somehow. I'm carrying. People here are trying to set records for tiniest dogs. Oh, my God. I noticed that.

And then very funny against the backdrop of the constant signage warning of coyotes. Oh, everywhere. It's like, oh, well, good thing you have a little snack on a leash. Like the most defenseless dogs in the world. Yeah, and you dressed him up in a sweater that makes him look like a honey-baked ham. Yeah. So now you have a puntable dog you couldn't play handball with, and he looks delicious from afar. Just one bite.

No chance of self-defense. Right. Or like, you know, yeah, fighting back. Just completely useless creature. Where did you get that outfit for your tiny dog from coyote enticers? Is that thing chemically programmed to get coyotes just slovering? Mm-hmm. Or slavering?

Slobbering. Slobering. I think slavering also. We've had this conversation. Yeah, so I came back, I collected my Lund, and we hopped in an Oob. We did it right. Not a Waymo, we hopped in an Obe. So many Waymo.

Oh, so little time. You know what would be fun. Marlon Waymo. Yeah. Keen and Ivory Waymo. Yes, keep going. Keenan Ivory Waymo Jr. Kim Waymo.

Kim Waymo. Kim, yeah, Kim maybe stopped acting. Are you thinking of the Kardashians? No, Wayans. They should have had a crossover. That would have been a powerful family. She was in living color, but then I don't know if she stopped. She just stopped doing stuff.

She might have written on scary movies but wasn't in them. Something like that. She didn't need the spotlight. Her brothers had it handled. I like the bald one. Sheen and Ivory's head shine so bright. Yes. She decided to get out of that crazy spotlight and work behind the scenes.

Everyone forgets about jazzy domino wands. Remember him? Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, he tried to get like a pizza thing going. Yeah, Nico, Nico Case's husband. Leonardo. Dund.

Wemmo. Master Shredder Wayans. I miss doing weigh-ins. I'll tell you that. That was the worst part of wrestling. Hey, everyone, why don't you get a copy of Brute pre-ordered? The covers on there. Go check it out.

Go look at the cover of the book. BRU-T, a novel from Sam Talent coming September 22nd. Also, don't forget about the damn live streams we're doing. Those are a lot of fun. We do them on Wednesdays on. my YouTube. I pretty much just want to do a Q&A. I just want to connect with young people

and try and help them navigate the choppy waters of life. So get over there, Sam Talents YouTube, get your tickets for all my great live shows. And now here's an ad read. And now Lund is about to read the ad. Shut up. I'm showing them.

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Whoa. No, we love all this stuff. We've loved everything except for, I don't think we haven't, we haven't tried the sodas yet. Those are new. But I'll bet they're great because everything else that we've gotten from them has been fantastic. I think Becker gets a carry package from them every six days. He gets a mainline. He's shooting it up.

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and tell them chubby behemoth sent you. After you order, do the additional homework. After you order, sign over any kids that you might be in possession of. So yeah, I get you, and we went to the worst coffee in the world that I would have stormed out of because I'm a petulant pris,

but you got your sauce. And then I, we got in the car and we went to Clement Street. Good old Clement Street. Literally. our old stomping grounds. Oh my. Stomp around.

Stomp for our dinner. Yeah, right over there, Fourth and Geary, that's where Sylvan House was. That's where I spent all my time as a young, I mean, honestly, Trubidor.

A young turd. No, it was a Trubador, yeah. Kind of a turd. I was just traveling these highways and byways telling the world my stories. Loud and proud. Oh, yeah.

Stinky. They should have had to invent a new type of Richter scale, but for odors to measure me. Oh, yeah. I remember just whenever I would like bed a young woman and it would be that moment where I'd take my dungeries off and let the bats out. It's reeked. I got pretty good at being like, hey, why don't we take a shower?

Because I needed a shower medically. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It was either that or get arrested. Or just like, yeah, like have to plead with her that it was that it didn't smell that bad. It's a medical thing. It was something in the room. It's the pants. I smelled that when we first got in here.

Yeah. It wasn't me. That's you. That is for sure you and it's okay. Kevin Neeland, the farting therapist, strikes again. Yeah, that's where gaslighting came from because I'd say that's your farts. That's for sure your smells. That candle says it smells like gross dude.

Yeah. That's not me. Where did you get this candle from? The coyote enticer store? Smells like carry on. Urban outfitters. Yeah. That's the stinky dude smell.

So you can convince your mom that you've been seeing someone. I'm not gay. It's not that dangerous at night. Yeah. Yeah, I walk home. That woman that asked Is this area at the hotels?

Is this area safe at night? It's like, you have two tiny little kids. Yeah. You might as well have dogs out here for the coyotes. You have two 10-year-olds. They're both wearing camisoles.

Walk around at night. Yeah, you'll be fine. Stay indoors, lady. When the lost boys are out? Yeah. Maybe don't have your two little pieces of ass. Yeah, they're going to feed off of your children, literally. They're going to eat your young.

Stay inside. It's 4.30. You shouldn't be out right now. It's little tree. Yeah, what the hell? They're going to rip them limb from limb and dance in the blood. Is the city safe? Have you been online ever?

Do you know where you are? I wondered how crazy it would be when we smoked that J. but it wasn't really the freaks come out at night. I guess they're probably, they're more in the city. Also, we're grown men who look like we should be holding hands. We're like we just got done banging. We're allowed out there. We can go wherever we want.

You're wearing shorts. I'm wearing fanciful pastel clothing. Everyone's like, I literally had a bindle today. That was huge. You weren't jealous at all. You won't shut up about it. Well, I mean, you were no selling it purposefully because you didn't want me to know that I was on to something. That I was seething.

Yeah, I got a big stick. Should have been mom. I was carrying a bag of fruit because we went to Clement and first stop, Zhao Longbow. Got in there, got our soup dumplings, bit the nipples off our perfect little titties, serped out their milk, and then poured a little dash of that sauce in there. I mean, it was textbook Zhao Long Bao eating. Yeah. We deleted those.

It was like playbook. It's like if you were going to show a person how to do it, I considered it in the moment, I was like, I should make a little video showing people how to eat Zhao Long Bao. And I'm never, ever inspired to make anything content-wise. I'm content with me. I don't need to make content for you. That's your job to be content. Yeah, figure it out.

Go on a walk with your buddy. Yeah, it's that easy in a nice city. God, I'm a common little masterpiece. Hang out in a park, walk through it, go to a spot, eat something. We ate something. We walked. I bought a bunch of fruit. I got a Chile moya is what it ended up being, which is I think of Guanavanaugh.

or a sapote? I don't know. And then I got a giant banana. Dude, that thing is like a football. Quad. It should be on a leash being walked by a Latino in the conservatory of flowers. Yeah, that thing is a little plop.

I think we're going to cut it. I think we have to cut it like a loaf of bread. Oh, little chondo-esque lump. We're going to cut it and we're going to serve paté on it. On the fruit. Yeah, that'll be gross, right? Yeah, it'll be bad. Okay.

Protein packed. Yeah, meat, jond. on a weird nanner? Yeah, it's like we're shipwrecked. Bad consistencies. That's a pirate.

That's a pirate breakfast. Mushy banana and then patte. Oh, no. Disphasia 3. No, bad. It's what people without teeth who just had strokes have to eat. Can you put my

Vienna sausage loose on the nanner? All right, grandpa. Then you just grab a pillow off the bed and start crying as he slowly approach. A Navy man doesn't need carbs. You're right, grandpa. You're not going to need any

carbs where you're going. It needs potassium and bacon fat. Smothered grandpa. Yeah, so then we walked all the way up to Sylvan House said what up, you know, did the fingers. And then we walked to the park, dude. Golden Gate Park right there, conservatory of flowers.

Just had a nice time strolling about flitting, dare I say. Wasn't hot as hell. No, my God, it was just like most other places in the country. Quintessential, San Francisco Day. In the sun, you're like, ah, maybe I should have worn shorts. But in the shade, you're like, do I need a hoodie?

It's different sides of the street, man. God, then we walked the green belt. Came back to the wharf. Had some mid pizza. Had some real ball sack pizza. I was surprised. Yeah, well, no, I'm not surprised. You said go to this spot on the wharf.

There's the bread, boot in bread. And it was good. But the rest was just like whatever. It's a bakery, to chain, but still, I was smelling. it all last night. I was whiffing that damn sourdough. I said, I'm going to get in there.

Great whiffs. Mm-hmm. A woman ordered food for maybe 100 people. Did you see how long she was ordering? Yeah. She ordered when we were first up there blowing it. Right. Waiting to get ignored.

Ignored. And we got ignored. We didn't have to wait for that. That was happening. And she's ordering. We go, ah, we fucked up because they were helping the dozen people that showed up out of nowhere. Yeah, we thought we had a perfect system. Then we get behind them.

The woman is ordering. The other people that are working there help several other groups of people. Yeah. And then us. It was like a time lapse of like... The woman... Still ordering and like asking what pointing this versus this. She was like, wait, what is this called?

She was holding a menu. She's like, okay, so I have to eat this. And they're like, no, you order food from the menu. And she's like, okay, yes. And what is food? She was up there. Tell me the difference between food. and drink.

And she's like, do I get a plate with the food? Same side of the... Do I need to bring my own plate? Two sides of the coin situation? Yeah, she was a total quiffet. There's also, what, like six different sandwiches, one, two salads, four pizzas. Like, there's not a big diner menu. Not a big menu.

No. It was one piece of paper, three columns. Pretty easy, lady. One has a different... Get the bread. Either it's an open-faced pizza or they put a piece of pizza on top, and that's called a sandwich. All right.

So you want us to chew it up for you? Yeah, I wanted to go over there and be like, let's get you home, lady. That was why? And so she's the one that was chosen to order for everyone. It just seemed like she wasn't the one. Or she was just ordering for her. Funny aunt.

Not the general. She was probably up there for 35 minutes. She walked away with four soup bowls. Oh, you got the chowder in the bread? Four soups. Masterstroke, lady. Good work. And then she sat down with this crazy twisty straw that she had.

And she put them in each bowl at once and slurped it all up like some girl Popeye. Big boba straw for the clams. She's like, I'm having a period for six this month. It's an exclamation point this time. I'm shedding. It's been a tarot bang. I'm on the British office. I'm sloughing.

Yeah. So, hey, you say sloughing? I did. Emmy and I had a conversation about sloughing versus sloughing. thing. Sluff. I think it's slough. I think that it's one of those things where they pronounce it their way and we pronounce

it our way. And no one's right and no one's wrong, but we act like we are right. You want to tell them about Creates' dinner? No. Oh, okay. Well, Creach's been going through it. Yeah.

Talked about it on the Patreon. She's getting her groove back. So much stuff on the Patreon. Yeah. That it felt like we needed to keep it. keep it close, right? Some inside baseball. There was one specific thing that I thought would be good over there.

Creech had two hits of acid. Yeah, Creech had a power lunch yesterday. And freaked out, hated it. Completely insane that she took two of anything. She tabbed out. It's not like she's constantly on the road with magnetic furs. No. Yeah, she's not following wavy gravy from town to town.

Like it. Magnetic first. Magnetic field. Yeah. But, yeah, has this crazy trip with the dogs. The dogs were on acid, too? No. No, they were just there.

They were freaking out for different reasons. They were probably stoked to be able to eat their food. But, yeah, I'm not around. Yeah. They got a clear, clear line of sight to all of the dog food. Shut up. We don't have thumbs. She follows up the trip of a life.

lifetime. Yeah. With eating a rice and bean concoction that she had made. It was great, but it was, it wasn't old. She made it for St. Patrick's Day. It was, it was old enough. It couldn't drive. Yeah.

It couldn't drive, but it had its learners permit. Right. Yeah, a farm license. And usually I'm on cleanup duty when it comes to leftovers. You're Aaron Judge. I'm the, yeah, I'm bad and, I'm Tony Gwynn. Yep. I'm bad and cleanup.

She'll, you know, sometimes, you know, she likes. She used to cook for her whole family. So she doesn't always, and just some stuff like soups and stuff. It's hard to cook for two. Yes. I cook curry or some weird soup. We eat it for three days. Right.

So this rice and bean, like we had had a bunch of it and a few days, when it was a few days old, it was great. But there was still a lot of it. And it's like, all right, well, we try to put a dent in it. Well, it grows up so fast. It's rice and beans. It's not, you know, like it was expensive. Yeah. 70 cents worth of food.

She'll toss it. But no. She said she had some and it fucked her up. God. So she went from a bad trip to bathroom town, you know, just all night. So yeah, what a wild, Mr. Toad's wild ride. Mrs. Toad's. Yeah, she went bongk, bongk.

She started hitting herself in the head with a mallet. And then she had stars in her eyes and just wandered around our house. Yep. She went out and talked to the mailbox for a while. You said the snake as a towel. Yeah. She would whip cracking, bait. with the snake.

Whenever the snake gets whip cracked, its tongue pops out and its eyes bulge. She hadn't been bit by a spider on the face. Like when I'm normally gone and she went the way of the... Yeah, no wolf spiders snuck up on her.

No raccoon attack, so she made her own chaos. Yeah, so she decided to make the spiders in her mind. Yeah. Series of unfortunate events. Self-inflicted gunshot wounds. Stepped on a bunch of rakes. Yeah.

Mr. McGooing it. She doesn't want to have to go to the draft. Damn, dude, yeah. That's, I mean, shit. That's all right. That's her version of, like, going nuts. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, on the Patreon, you were like,

no wife would do that. I said it wasn't common wife material. That's all. I've never known a woman to do that. But really, what it was, yeah, was the comparison today was to like an older board housewife. Right. But, oh, we talked about those women, your grandmother-in-law that would put on a wig to see if your husband notices.

Yeah, she's making her own fun. Right. It's like the version of a 60s housewife with her husband's a salesman on the road all the time. So like she starts drinking a little bit of vanilla extract in the middle of the afternoon. When she's baking. Right, yeah, yeah. You have a little sherry or you have a little. you have the ether from under the kitchen sink.

Yeah. You sniff that a little too long. Yeah. And then, you know, you got your housewives little helper, so you pop a couple of those. And next thing you know, you're fucking the mailman or the delivery truck driver. Instead, Creech just ate a couple tabs of acid

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Nice to work, Lund. And I fear rice. I've been very, very keen on avoiding getting rice poisoning. Oh, because the urban legend of the college kid, right? Not an urban legend. Emily's confirmed my fears.

I think it's Listeria. And she's listening right now at the gym. You know, she's fucking putting up 320 right now on the bench and love and hates tattooed on her knuckles. She's like, I told him the rice was fine. I gotta quit fearing the rice. She slurs me.

Stony baloney. Yeah, she called me a pussy the other day in reference to something on the couch. Spider. I don't remember, no. And I was like, oh, what? No. She's stronger than you. No, she's not.

I'd break her in half. You're small. I don't ever use full force with her, but man, if I did. she doesn't even know how strong you are she'd be in a wheelchair she doesn't because i keep pulling my punch she's like susanna she has little baby brain and she thinks that i'm scared of everything and weak but no i have to present this to her so that she won't you know be afraid of the real me yeah so she doesn't start crying the full uh full sam effect all i do is empower women left and right that's what i'm doing here yeah yeah i just fucking swallow it man flinch yeah i swallow it i flinch

Why were you a pussy rice? It was a rice situation. Yeah. She was like trying to feed me rice while Pat sat on my chest and told me to name 10 candy bars. She's trying to airplane me rice. No, I don't remember. It was something like she was joking. It was something banal, but you know, you never want your wife to call you a pussy, even if she's got a twinkle in her eye.

Shit. What do you have? Oh, the bindle. That's what you're thinking about. Yeah, the bindle. Yeah, I was really jealous that you had four fruit. bag with four fruit huge banana one chili moya and an orange because i ate the other orange already sorry but yeah i found a cool stick and i had like a big uh brown bag and i put the brown bag handles

over a crook in the stick and then i tossed it over my shoulder like a continental soldier and i and i walked all over this great city you couldn't shut up couldn't shut up about well no one does it i don't like a backpack because my back gets sweaty and holding a bag you're always switching hands. You carry a stick. You feel like you're a rifleman. You feel like you're a Tennessee volunteer wearing a coonskin cat. Johnny Appleseed. Yes, exactly. And I'm telling you, dude, I'm going to start doing it on my walks to the park. I'm going to be Bindle guy. Next thing you know, a year from now, it's going to be in like Vogue. They're going to be fucking Gucci Bindles. Lime Scooter. Much like when I started, I was an overalls guy first. I was on Monarchs first. These glasses are everywhere.

that's me for sure no I'm just saying I'm on the cutting edge of fashion and when I start doing my stick thing all over the city of motion and also you got a fucking weapon and as I pointed out to you people can't get in the bag there's too much force being applied

you couldn't get in the bag no not without you knowing and then the stick turns into I'm Donatello yeah and you laughed to yourself and said I could get in the bag I could get in there well yeah well the idea

Yeah, very funny that you say you couldn't get in there and then you look back at me and I'm eating an orange. Yeah, you're covered in chili, moya. Well, I think what would happen, though, is since you have this fulcrum over your shoulder, if someone were to grab the stick and yank it, you might do a complete 180 backflip. That's what I'm worried about,

is people applying a fulcrum type attack on me. Next thing you know, I'm upside down. You landing on your head. Yeah. Yeah, I just go, ah, and then just pile drive my own. this. I'll tell you, you don't have to worry about that happening anytime soon. If you jumped on there and yanked me,

I'm not going to do that. It would hurt. Somebody's not going to pounce on you from a tree. What if I'm in Australia? What if I'm trekking across Australia? Like a hobo. They do bindles in Australia, probably. People do bindos all over the world. We let it go because, oh, we can't

be connected to the earth and the bag. You have to find a stick. You have to make a crook in it. You have to attach the bag, and you have to balance it. It's a whole human thing. Emmy, if you're listening, get ready for this. Because old Sam T, you know I love sticks. I'm always picking up a stick, whacking a tree or a fence with it as hard as I can.

All the trees here are already long peeled. Long peeled. Well, I spent a lot of time here. Yeah, you put in the work. Oh, I was drifting, maybe. You finished the job that Johnny Appleseed starts. I would have loved to have been Johnny Appleseed. He made a bunch of money.

How? Because he would go plant all these trees. and then he would sell the parcels. Oh. Yeah. I don't think it was completely or altruistic. He was setting people up

to make sideries. I thought that he was just a traveling man. He was a traveling man, but I think he bought a lot of that land as he went to plant orchards because if you, like, improve the land, you had it for free.

Oh. Yeah, I think it was like a homestead type thing. That's how he bought, got control of the land, was just tossing some seeds. I think so. Everyone thought he was like, hand seats in the other.

Yeah. And then... And a whistle in his heart. And then very quickly seed in both. Cowboy poet, Johnny Eifflecy. Making mounds. And the gushing in. Wow.

I'm pulling this one out, man. I guess I just thought, yeah, that I almost wondered if it was a tall tail kind of a thing. He wasn't even really a guy. Yeah, he was cool, man. Until he got to Alabama and he met Nathan Bedford. forest and fired up the clan. Not a lot of people know that about Johnny Appleseed. No.

Yeah, he was one of the founders of the clan. He was the grand wizard right underneath the sub-dragon. The clan was a bunch of frat boys who like got out and then they were like, we don't want Jews and Italians. The first clan was like very much, it was like wasps. And they were the most powerful one because they embedded themselves. Like it was like, you know, it was all the people who graduate from the University of Alabama. and their judges seven years later

and they decide who goes to jail it was like that but way back in the day yeah they were god forbid you just have a fucking corner store you sell your goods you have some land you sell some cider and some pies no you have to box out you have to fucking

thumb on the scale what's because they had they were scared losers their biggest fear was black people becoming armed and being able to vote because they subjected them to horror after war. Well, yeah, I'm saying.

It's like the end of Django. Yeah, taking the power back. Yeah. The revolutionion. Mm-hmm. But still. They had regulators. A lot of those people would have

just gone away. I don't know. It just seems crazy that they also were like, we got to keep it up instead of just trying to like squash it. They're like, no, no, no.

Well, I mean, let's finish the job. you had all those freed people who didn't have a bunch of money when they got let loose. So it's not like they can like, you know. But a lot of them just wanted to bail. And they're searsucker. They wanted to bail or do their own thing. Yeah, but they didn't have the economic means to get out of that place.

So, like, they were just like let loose with all this like. With their bindles. With their bindles. And that's what the Klan wanted to do was come take their bindles and just make them bags. Because they knew those sticks. Carry them. Yeah, carry them. Put it under your crookier arm.

Have your hands fall. asleep. God intended. Those weird clanhoods are from some kind of like Spaniard Catholic ceremony on like some saints day, I think. Anyway. Clan Francisco.

Clan Francisco. I tried to educate you about the clan and about honeybees and I did a bad job on both. But these are the things I learned about this week. The Ku Klux Klan and honeybees. I get a bunch of useless information, half remembered. Well, you're Becker.

At least, you know, I can tell you about it. An interesting way are semi-articulate. Yeah. Instead of full, kicked in the head. Yeah, instead of like a dolphin who like kind of half-nose English, that's Becker when he's super stoned. He's like some kind of man who was underwater and he just got rid of his flippers.

And he's like, oh, that's the thing about the key of the... Sedona, man, is like, Sedona's in Arizona and Akia, that's Korean. KILD in action. Right. KIA, MIA, paper planes. Yeah, it's a lot of stony, baloney free association. It's jazz gibberish. That's what Becker hits me with.

Car jazz. And it's like, candy slam poetry. I still miss them. I wish he was here right now. Sitting in a chair over there, barely in. Off camera. nodding. He would be fucking loving these patas, man.

Actually, he probably wouldn't. He probably grossed out. Yeah, I don't know if he likes. Hormel didn't make them so he can't have it. They're not a boar's head product, so they're gross. Yeah, I'm not sure. Well, you should bring them a jar and be like, hey, why don't you eat some right now? The idea of any of those breaking, leaking, leaking, what, exploding.

Oh, come on. Just wrap them up in your used undies. No, thanks. I want my undies. Put him in a soft. That's what you do. Didn't bring socks. Right shorts. Like you in 2010, no socks.

Well, that was an economic reality. That wasn't a fashion choice. Like you. No, well, yeah, because you incorrectly thought that they were a fool's garment. They were a sucker. It was for suckers to spend money on socks when your shoe could just be both sock and shoe. My balls didn't have underwear. Why would my toes get undies?

that's ridiculous my dick's down there rubbing against my fireproof cover rolls you're unmentionable yeah i'm gonna pamper my toesies no the fucking tip of my dong looked like a toe for a long time you had six pairs you lost them you're like oh all right i'm not throwing i'm just throwing money away if i buy socks it's just a matter of when i leave them somewhere yeah no i mean i'd always be running out of someone's window or like jumping off a porch I was a second story man. Tom Cat. Yeah.

Between stealing pies and hopping trains. Me and my Bindle. An adultery. Yeah, I was committing. I was philandering and committing adultery with pastors' wives. Hobo stuff, man. I was a Bindle stiff. I was a hoboi.

The only thing I feared was the railroad bowl. Oh, shit. What? I just remember Cam, Cam Ommland. Cam Newton had sent me. Who's Cam Omelet? Just kidding. Uh-huh.

The Egg Man. Yeah. It's a cuckoochoo. Crack them. Facebook showed me a bunch of pictures from the tour much fun that the Fine Gents did in 2012. I got to save all those so I can share them. Because there's like several in there that you remember, but not all of them. No.

It brought us to this city. But Cam's, yes. Cam said he had shared something and it was like, oh, this old cowboy word that he had forgotten. I think he probably was trying to think of it in the van. What was it? Creeasote? He sent it to me. No.

Coguete? It was. I can't remember now. But it was like glovenet. And I, or glivnit, and I looked it up. And it was. Gunsel. Oh, Gunsel.

Yes. Hold on. I know what a Gunsel is. It's Hobo. A Gunsul's the boy. who gets trained by the hobo and is usually turned out in turn. That's right. Yes.

Thank you. He didn't explain it, so I just had to search for it. And it was mostly, it's like a hockey player's last name. But eventually I found the hobo talk, and it was like, what's that other, like, old catamite. Yeah, catamite. That's in like the hell of God. No, catamite is. in,

what is the one? The road. Oh, that's right. When they have the catamites on chains attached to the war wagon. Yeah, there was, yeah, there was, uh, yeah,

I was like, oh, I wonder what Gunsel is. I had no memory of it. So I looked it up and was like, oh, okay, a little, little treat for the, for old Sid. Yeah. The tribute.

The dangerous scamp. Yeah, he's dessert after the Mulligan stew. Tramp. Oh. A little tramp. Oh, yeah. Wentz a little bees, so he gets a gunsel. Yeah, gunsill's used a lot in, like, old prison fiction.

They use Gunsle a lot. Alcatraz. Stories of Alcatraz. Yeah, if I have to hear anything more about Alcatraz from you, I'm going to flip out in the rats. Pissing in the rats. I suck it's, and so I married an axe murder. They go to Alcatraz? I don't know.

Phil Hartman's the, like, the guard slash tour guide or whatever. and he talks about somebody on Alcatraz, an old gangster, like, ugh, yeah. That was a mouthful. It's all in Latin. Well, speaking of mouthfuls, it's time to talk chubby's. Chubby shorts, man, they're the best. You know that. I'm rocking them right now.

They're wrinkle resistant, as you can tell right there. They can wear them. They're stinkle resistant. Dude, you don't reek at all, and you wore them all day, and they still look fresh. It's like it's exactly written in the copy right here. They look fresh. They're not clingy. They're not wet.

And when you are wet, they don't show it. I spilled coffee on them. It's like it never happened. Yeah, you weren't pissed about it. I was pissed for about eight seconds. And I was like, oh, yeah, Chubby's got my back. Yeah, they're water resistant. They still look fresh.

And it's not just shorts, man. Check out their hoodies, jackets, stretch pants. They have stretch pants. Stretch them. Remember, I thought stretch pants for like what old women wore in the 90s. Everybody wears it. Okay. They stretch.

They bend. They do. whatever you want them to do. It's so funny, they say personal endorsement, what Chubby's gear have you been wearing? You're literally in them and you slept in them and you're probably going to swim in them after the show. If I needed to, I could.

I could swim to Alcatrazum back. Easy. I like the Chubby's pants too. They kind of give you an element of I give a shit, but really you're just wearing super comfy pants. Like their khakis look like chinos. But really, they're gauchos. They're whatever you want.

Yeah. They're water. Yeah. And like you can, I don't know. You can go from a meeting to a rave. You go from a job interview to being a part of a thruple. Go from the county fair to the funeral, all right? You show up to the wake covered in powdered sugar because you were making elephant ears.

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aka Chubby Behemoth with Becker, sent you. All right, you want to finish the plan? Well, using up pissing in the it wasn't rat but like using a man peeing in his

eye sockets after poking out his eyeballs I was thinking of an actual rodent no you're talking you're using

the lingo roommate from the inside yeah you're fucking your bunk buddy there's a great book called uh

can't hardly win by Jack Black or you never can win you ever read that book no by Jack Black or Jack White it's a

different guy. It's not the famous dude, but it's about him being like a safe cracker back in the day, and he starts as someone's gunsel, and then he works his way up, and he gets his own gunsel. Wow. I think that Charlie Manson, he was described as a gunsel. Oh, no. Yeah, and that's why he got like so fired up when he was a young man being like locked up left and right. It's just all about amassing like labor, people to do whatever you want them to do. You want your own pack of gunsils. hurt people, hurt people. I kind of had my own gunsill pack. I got you, I got Pat.

Noah for sure. Noah's a gunsel. Some scaly wax. Yeah. Little. I'm Big Bill and I have my little twists out there. Lost boys are back. Yeah, I got my little Oliver and they're terrorizing that woman's kids from last night.

Is it safe out here? I wouldn't let my kids out there. You want your kid to be a gonsle? I wouldn't let my little kids out there unless you're breeding. Gunsles. That's all right. Unless you're trying to make a couple bucks. Unless you're trying to pay for the expensive internet so you can sell him.

So far, so good. Yeah, we're cranking. Oh, honey, I don't want to be a little Gunsel boy. Oh, yeah. So I don't want to double dip and talk about too much stuff from the Patreon. Sure, yeah, no. Let's not do it then. Well, just one thing.

Oh, okay. It was pretty good. All right. Retreading. Well, just come on. I'm listening. Just the young lady after the show that badly wanted my shirt, my Cher Guevara shirt. Yeah, I mean.

And she got it. Yeah. I gave it to it. If they want to hear that story, they should listen to the picture. There's a lot of other stuff on the page. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of great stuff over there. Five bucks a month gets you in the mix.

Just a little nibble. Yeah. But yeah, lady. A woman made London to her. Striking lady. Sexual mannequin. Wants the shirt. I said, yeah, I guess.

You could get it yourself. She's like, yeah, but it was funny. It's in the moment. It's a memory. It's a story. But then you correctly said, she's probably wearing it right now. She had it in her math

while she was fingering herself on the bus. She just shoved it in her mouth and she was like, oh. Sam's LPMs were 12 every 12 seconds, but the other guy, the other guys who's shirt. The other guy.

Yeah. I want him crushing me. Yeah. She probably like shoved it in her snatch and then made tea with it after she bicycled home. now we're married forever yeah yeah how many how many loose strands of hair were in there is she making a little me out of that you thought you were selling her a shirt really you sold her a

pillowcase sold her a chastity bill it'd be funny to put your shirt on a pillow and it's kind of just like cuddling with you yeah it's just like rub a little patay on it yeah right here on your wrists as well some pickle juice your erogenous zone Pickle juice Big bucket of pickle juice Like flash dance She pulls the cord It's like he's here

No you don't usually reek No but I was pretty warm yesterday Mm-hmm Would you have sold her the Garner Gunn shirt For some reason she She wanted anything you had You could have sold your undies for a hundred bucks

Is 100 bucks A hundred bucks I can get two Cher Gavar's for a hundred bucks I get half of that no no you gotta split it with me i told you to wear that shirt you look cool in it you've never liked that shirt i think it's cute creach got it for your what your anniversary right no kim got it for me and i want another one kim is your sister mm-hmm and i want i want to get another one i'll probably get two kim you can buy me a shirt too if you want no she's busy what finding

you cool crossover amalgamation gear yeah the mix-up The mash, the monster mashup. What are we going to have for dinner? Tangito. No more tangito. Let's go back. You have to go while I'm on stage and bring tanguito. I'll go there tonight.

I mean, we got all these patas. You'd probably just have some kind of like... Got to get some wheat thuns. French farmer meal. Wheatins for the pattee. We need to get a bottle of wine that has a cork in it and I'll get my bindle. I'll get my bindle together and put those into the bendal. Oh, man.

I'm on the train tracks. That's exactly right. We should have a midnight picnic in the yard. Rolls Sigs. Oh, yeah, old Sid. Yeah, old Sid. A couple Gunsles. Let's get a couple Gunsel boys.

There ourselves a party. Guess what? The city crawling in Gunsles. We saw that one kid today. Oh, yeah. Look like he was pretty fried. He could probably count to 10 if you helped him. I don't know.

That Drum Circle kid who was unjoled. He was the freest man in the world. I didn't look over there much. Oh, my God. Because we were walking away from him. He was doing like a capoeira thing. It's like completely liberated. And I wanted to make fun of him, but I thought, well, he's doing it better than me.

That was you once. That was me once. Yeah. Bindle. Now I'm bindled. No, you were bindled before. No, I never been. It was everything you had.

You had a shopping, a plastic bag. And I had your wallet and smokes. Yeah. Because your pants didn't. have pockets or whatever. Well, no. They did, but I wanted to be able to go swimming at any time.

So I kept all my stuff in Ziplocs. So I could go from land to sea real quick. One time, man, we snuck into these pools down by Metro, like in the Araria. What the fuck? It was like the apartments at 14th in Spear. I think it's all been changed.

We could get in that pool, but we couldn't get in one time, so we had to go over the fence. And I, like, got over my young fat body and, like, celebrated by just, like, running to the water, ripping off my shirt and jumping in the water. And when I came out, I was so pissed because I just got a new, like, razor flip phone and it was ruined. I had no money.

I was like, fuck. Then I had to sit there cold, pouting while everyone else, like, took their stuff out of their pockets and enjoyed themselves. God damn it. That was a huge, huge L for Sam T. That's too bad. And then I had to guntil myself to get a new phone. Yeah. A little gunt.

Let a bunch of guys watch you jacket. Yeah. So that you could get $60 for another phone. Yeah. And the couple of those guys I didn't let watch. They were already there. Yeah. Well, they were already at the Arby's.

They see that there's a few guys paying you. Uh-huh. And so they duck down. Right. Just kind of get a peek. Yeah, they don't move and I can't see them. I'm like, wait, you pay already? No.

No, no one's there. Yeah. You don't see them at all. Okay. They're good. They live in the shadows. So you think... They turn 2D and slip to the wall.

You think three guys are watching you. It's 60 bucks. Really, it's 170 guys. It's 14 guys. It's like I'm on a bus in India. You should have made so much money. But they all got one over on you. By ducking down.

By going like this. This newspaper with two eyes cut out. And there I am cranking, thinking I'm smart. Did it again, T. You're going to be able to buy a new flip phone in no time. You'll be texting Krusty and Laura. There's a guy with a mirror on a stick. You just think he has a bendal, but it's really a mirror.

It's a mirror, and he's set it up so he's projecting it on a wall across the street. It's like on a building so the whole city of Reno can see me pounding my nub. And I'm like, yeah, 60 bucks. And I'm maintaining my dignity. If I could get a couple new customers, I could do this every couple days. I would never have to work again. If only wasn't these three weird dudes and there was a market for this. If I could scale up. Meanwhile, time stops. Like buses are stopped. the street as the whole city marvels. A guy films the giant

projection and then makes DVDs. Makes a killing. He's selling them for 30? Yeah, makes a ton of money. And it wasn't one of the three guys that paid of us. No, no. It's all profit. Well, I guess he puts into, you know, or maybe he steals the blank DVDs.

So then it's literally... Or he owns a DVD factory. It's pure profit. Yeah. And I have my 60 bucks. Everybody's... It starts recognizing you and you don't know why. Yeah.

Wow. I do a lot of sets. I do a lot of sets. I guess my stuff at the bovine's really catching on. That level three improv class is the talk of the streets. Everyone's like, hey, you get your phone? I'm like, what? Hey, there's the guy who really wanted a phone.

Yeah, I guess that's, I guess that's me. Do you go to Metro? Will you sign this DVD? What is it? Don't worry. Just sign it. Oh my God, the Jackoff kid signed it. He signed the Jackoff DVD we all have. People start ringing pots and pans out the window like they were honoring nurses in COVID.

Streamers. Yeah, that would have been all right. Man. Yep. That's not bad. You know what was bad was the accommodations at the Crystal Bay Casino. They weren't bad, were they? I don't know, dude.

You get used to a certain thing. certain level of... You kept... Well, I think after the story that you just told, it explains why you kept making it sound like, oh, everybody can just see right in. Oh, yeah.

They can see in my... When I'm showering, when I'm sleeping. I'm telling you, I hope someone's not selling DVDs tomorrow morning. Okay, yeah, it didn't make sense. Yes, two days ago. Everyone was peeping me. But now I get it.

What if I wanted to take my nub on a walk? You've been used before. Yes. Been hurt. You kept, yeah, you kept thinking, yep, they could get a camera right in there. Where do they get a load of me? Film it all. Film my load.

What was it about continuous loads? What did I read? I don't know what you read. Oh, it was on the airplane? Something about continuing. The United Flight Travel. Be careful of continuous loads. What was that?

I can't remember now, damn it. I was in the room. or something, beware, continuous loads. Was it like a street sign? I don't remember. Was it on that DVD you wanted me to sign? Where that guy made that loop of my $60 mistake? That DVD that you have of persuasive Asians or whatever.

Oh, yeah. I wonder where that is right now. Susanna's watching it. Shut up. They grew up so quick. Not funny. I hope Emmy gives you the wrong men. She tried to kill me once.

Yeah, and you only got stronger. You're thriving. You can't take me down. No, no one would. What else should we say before we go? I don't know. I'll tell you guys this. I love you. You're all right with me.

You mentioned the Patreon. Keep your heads up out there, players. Don't forget about the Patreon. There's so many great episodes that you could get for just $5 a month. Don't let the man get you down. more wide world coming soon. Don't lick that boot. Houston next weekend.

You take the goddamn laces out of that boot and you choke him to death with it. Punchup. Live slash Sam Talent for all show info. You got a punch up. Atlanta, Charleston, Buffalo, Lafayette, baton rouge. Chicago, Montreal, Madison, Madison, Ottawa.

Get your asses to Houston, you pigs. And Atlanta. Yeah. venue alert. No one's coming to Houston for some reason. Houston's crazy packed with all kinds of hoddies. God damn it. Just come on inside for an hour and a half. You won't regret it. Come hang out with me. Lund will be there. Get beach braids. Becker won't be there. You know what? Guys should come to the Houston show like they're going to like a screening of spring breakers. You know? Everyone dressed like who was that?

Theme night. James Frank. James Franco. Everyone dressed like Franco and Spring Breakers. Silk Hawaiian shirts, cornrows, gold teeth, rose-colored lenses, two guns. One for both of you. 16-year-old girlfriends. Statch. Get stashed up. Get stashes and staches. Yeah.

And everyone's getting staff infection, too. Pop it, pop the boil. Statch party. Lance the boil. They were throwing a statch party. Stags and stach. Oh, come on. Statch party.

Mad dog. Mad dog of plenty. Mad dog for the youth for the 17 year old. Ah, come on. Check my stats. I got statched. This guy's statched up. All right, guys. We love you. Goodbye.