Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - FULL SHOW: Ben has become Simon Cowell...

Episode Date: March 29, 2026

On today’s show:  How Ben Hen ended up performing on stage at Eden Park! Megan's toddler believes mum makes all the money… Producer Troy tells his partner he doesn't like her iconic meal and she is NOT happy Celebrities doing mundane things returns! Why Jono is saying "sweet baby girl" in a school group chat?! Ben has to channel Simon Cowell to choose between two cute kids… Instagram: @THEHITSBREAKFAST Facebook: The Hits Breakfast with Jono, Ben & MeganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The John O'Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. It's a podcast on a Monday. Here we go, we're getting into it, and again. Just watched a video you sent through Megan of the Miss Grand Thailand preliminary competition, and one of the contestants was introducing herself to the audience. And then sadly, what veneers you're saying?

I think they were veneers. Like her dentures, yeah. They fell out mid-introduction. You can hear where the teeth actually They fall into her mouth Honestly the recovery on that miraculous Turned around Boom, look to camera

Pretty impressive She's stunning But she had teeth underneath So these are like dentures that sit over top But her teeth underneath Just weren't quite as perfect One of Hollywood teeth for the competition But teeth are like really cheap in Thailand

Or is it Oh people go to Thailand Yeah you're right For their teeth done Affordable dental procedures Oh she just get them like properly put in. But anyway, the old beauty pageant is, it used to be your thing of, you know, you go around

New Year's, the summer hot spots, there would be like, you know, Miss Coramandel and, you know, Miss Caroline Bay and so. Did you have Miss Caroline Bay? Oh, no, no, I remember Sharon used to talk about that and on the edge. Oh, yeah, she was desperate to win Miss Caroline Bay. Did you enter any beauty pagements and Miss Stoke Nelson? Have you been talking to someone? No.

Did you actually? Yeah, I did, um, Miss. Were you a bikini babe? I did miss Kai Teddy Teddy, which, you know, like a summer hotspot. Where'd your place? Well, I, so I was young. I would have been like 10 maybe. It seems a little unusual in the first instance, doesn't it?

Yeah, the whole thing seems. It's so creepy. Yeah, so creepy. It was all different age groups. But then you're like, who's in the crowd? Yeah, I'm glad we're not doing that anymore at that age, right? Because I didn't wear a bikini or wore togs. Or like a full one piece, and it was just blue.

Which is kind of what most people. that around that age would probably wear particularly on display. Not a bit of it, yeah. But why would you be, oh, jeez, I didn't think I was a beauty queen. I just like attention because I'm a Leo. And so I was like, I want to get up there and walk to have everyone look at me. So I did. I did.

And I strutted it. And I did a full on twirl pose, hand on hip. Like, I sent it. Was the crowd going bananas? I don't remember. Probably. But at the end, I didn't place. but I got Miss Personality

I mean that's a lovely award Isn't it Miss personality That's kind of like Not pretty enough to win But we'll give you a It seemed like you got a vibrant personality Yeah Yeah that's

How's you feel about Miss personality? I bloody loved it It was a good win Good win Yeah Because I was just like You never announced to me Like you're not doing this right

Yeah I was like I may not be the cutest But I will show you how it's done Where did it lead to Like if you did win Did you go to the nationals or the regionals? I don't know. I think you got a prize in a sash.

Yeah. It was just a bit of fill of content for the New Year's hotspots, wasn't it? That was always on TV, too, the Miss Worlds and stuff, too, back in the day. Yeah, that was Trump's thing, too, right? Wasn't he the organiser of Miss Universe? I feel like it was always me. Yeah, Miss Universe, Miss World. Yeah.

Yeah. I was on, always remember as a kid it was on TV. Oh, Miss Venezuela's out. You know, it was like, why. Miss Venezuela was always like front runner. Yeah, I felt like this thing The swimsuit, they had the ball gowner, and they had some sort of...

A talent. It was a talent thing as well. Oh, the speech. Oh, and they get put it on the spot with questions at the end, wouldn't they? Who was that poor contestant, the American lady? Oh, that wasn't in a year. What happened? It was like North Carolina or Miss Carolina or something, yeah.

I'll play this to you, the poor thing. Oh, you know, when you start talking, we've all done it, and you just start and you're like, oh, I've really, I've messed it up, I don't know where I'm going here and a poor thing. Recent paws have shown a fifth of... Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is? I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there

in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education, like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such us, and I believe that they should... Sounds like me in a wood meeting. for here in the US should help the US or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq in the Asian country. She plowed on. She did. Good on there.

I know it didn't quite make, you know, but it's... I love how you like, it didn't quite, none of it made sense. No, but you know what it's like when you're like, you just need to talk, you can't go, I don't have an answer for this. No, but do you know, that's such a mean question. Like I wouldn't know how to answer that. No. No, it's a mean question.

Why don't Americans, why can't they locate where we are? I don't know. because they're all dumbasses. Get a map out. Like, what do you want her to say? That's like you're mispersonality, mate. That's why you... Yeah.

Oh, we better give her mispersonality. They're all dumb asses. So, yeah, that was... I'd bring the house down with that. That is a bit of a tough. You want to prep a little bit, don't you for your answer? Well, she would have no idea. You're right.

That question was coming and then gone, I don't actually have an answer for this. Yeah, I can't answer it because they're not educating themselves. Go and ask them why they don't know where it is. Yeah. I don't think they would fly. So, beauty pageants. A dying breed, dying breed.

Yeah, it's probably for the best. Well, I wasn't... Judging people on their looks. Yeah. It's a great thing. It makes us agos feel better about ourselves. Well, I wasn't getting... I was on stage.

I was getting judged by you, Megan, actually, yesterday. And we'll start with that. For your legs. For my looks. Yeah. John O'Benn and Megan. The podcast. The Hats.

I had a great weekend over the weekend. I was on stage with Emma, Mema. Emma, formerly from Emma from the Wiggles, now doing amazing things. the Emma Mema and she was at Eden Park playing like a 6,000 people were picnic on the field, which is really cool, actually. It was really cool to be part of. Yeah, it was a lot of kids.

It was like a full-on family, fun. Sounds like a fun day. How many kids are we talking? Thousands? Yeah, thousands of kids. Well, they're kids outnumbering the adults. Probably. Yeah.

It's always a volatile situation. It's cool, though, to see the field just kids running around and playing with big beach balls and stuff. It was cool. Yeah, and the music was loud. and I was very overstimulated by the end. Sounds like a lot of activity. Too much activity for a Sunday. Well, yeah, well, they were a lot of fun.

And I got, my daughter had a gag a while ago when we were talking to Emma Mema. She's Emma Mema. She's got Alvin Melbourne, like, sidekick. And she was like, how about you get Ben Hen, meaning me, to go on stage with her when she was in New Zealand. She's like, love it. And she got in touch. She's like, come, yeah, come on stage, be part of a song. Does she provide the costume?

Or do you come with your own costume? Two options, put them out on social media. The one, I was surprised that one. A yellow chicken suit got voted for, but I went with that one because it got more votes. What was the other option? It was a big inflatable one. I thought that one would, but no. So you invested in the inflatable?

I did. Oh, no. Did the inflatable one cover your legs? Yeah. Yeah, see, the legs won, Ben. Everyone wanted to see you in the red stockings. Ben's Pins. So I got on stage with her, yeah, and performed one song.

It was only four moves, and it was, I think I was still out of time. But anyway, it was fun. Oh, so she had choreography that she was teaching it. Yeah, just that morning of like, yeah, and the, like, kids were like, it's just four moves, Dad, it's just four moves. Don't worry. Why are you so out of time? I was there, middle, and I filmed it, and we can chuck some of that up on the Hitsprick for

social, because I don't want anyone to miss out on your beautiful legs in those. Yeah, the problem was that, yeah, I didn't realize that the top kind of rode up, and I had stockings underneath, and the kids are like, you've got to put shorts on underneath, there's kids around, so I had to tape some shorts to my, you know, so. They don't want to see the hen laying eggs. These kids don't need to see those little legs, but we've got some coverage here. Yeah, you didn't let me. down you slipped in some dad jokes I didn't realize I was gonna make too much with my ticket

up and like oh okay so you and Emma mema she's doing her song and you're having to like some sort of commentary in between no one gave me that that wasn't part of the rehearsal process There was one bit where you half committed to singing and you're like, slap. Well, then I was like, no one told me if I could sing or not. That was the thing. And they didn't say, yeah, I just, but yeah. So you half just was like, snap.

Well, she's not normally joined him, but the people go, snap. The other dancers went singing. So I was like. Oh, so you're the backup singer as well. Yeah, four of us on stage. I was like, oh. So you can hear Emma, like, singing beautifully and me going, and breathing.

It was quite breathy, eh? I was so hot, like one song. It was like a rotissory chicken. I was like, she did that for like a good hour or so. Singing and dancing is a yeah, you really got to pay tribute to, you know, pink. What about pink flipping upside down on things? Exactly. So thank you very much to have a member for having me.

I think it was probably one and done for me and my children's entertainment. Unless she needs a breathy middle age man going snap. Snap. John O'Benn and Megan. The podcast. The heads. Look, um, there's a lot. on in the world and having a five-year-old who's just kind of starting to understand,

you know, the news and stuff. He sees and hears things about, you know, petrol prices and everything at the moment. What's best you're feeling about the petrol prices at five years old? Is it a concern? Well, he's just like, oh, well, you just filled up the other day. I'm like, I know, but then we use the car and then we need to put the, you know, God, you get sick of asking, I mean, replying to why, but then I always try to

but do you know I've come up this great response to why for everything I'm like why do you think oh you throw it back yeah that's smart and then what do they actually come back with anything or it shuts down the conversation no it shuts down the conversation he's like oh yeah I don't know what do you say it what tone do you say to him what do you think do you say it

no I'm like why do you think oh yeah good good reverse psychology yeah that's smart actually yeah it's good stuff but he was watching the news and it was talking about money and the price of everything and all above his head. But he started talking about how he knows that some people are finding it hard to buy groceries. And I was like, oh, that's so sweet.

He starts trying to delve in to economics. And that's when I started recording him. Good. He's going to learn. It's the other rule about living with a radio host, Basty, too, is they're going to record everything, all right? That's another life lesson. Where this goes with mum and dad is quite funny.

So does everyone have enough money for groceries? We do. Because you make money to buy stuff. You keep on getting money when you work. Yeah. What does Danny do all day? Just go to the, and do your rehearsal. But you don't get any money.

Do I not get paid for my show? No. I don't get paid for my show. Why? It's a job. Do you think Danny just goes to the gym and sings? Yeah. Sweet gig.

Sweet gig. You tell you. He wanted to say go to the gym and he sort of backs out of it. He just go to the gym and, yeah. Definitely wanted to say gym. Those pecks aren't going to build themselves, Bastie. I was buying Andrew to go to the gym though, are they? Just in case you don't know, he's doing a show, isn't he, Andrew?

Yes. He's doing Angrily at a musical. Paid one too, just so he wanted everyone to know. He should pay for that one. I was like, yeah, no, Daddy just sings and dances and goes to the gym. Sometimes he doesn't get paid though. Yeah, he's right. Yeah.

But he was like, yeah, Mommy makes the money. I was like, you know it, baby. You know it. A little patronising for Paul Basty too, wasn't it? Just do your little singing. Are you a little hobby? You go to the Jimmy round then? What's Daddy do?

It is humbling when they do describe what you do for a job and stuff like that. You're like, oh, God. I know, it won't be long and I'll be like, you just like talk rubbish all day. Yeah, yeah. Wait till they find out, Megan. That'll be a humbling day. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast. The Hats.

We spoke about this last week. He produced Troy, not on the airways. This is something you brought up when we were just chatting around the office. Yeah, there's something I've been trying to figure out how to bring up with my partner for a while. Yeah. This was all off here stuff.

I was like, do you want to do a thing on here with it? And you're like, no, not a sensitive topic. Yeah. So we left it alone. We're like, we could do it anonymously and not even say it's you just to see what people's advice was. And we kind of left that with you. And then it sounded like over the weekend you changed your mind.

Yeah. My lovely darling partner, every week makes a chicken leak pie. It's just part of like the routine. On a Monday night, she'll make a chicken leek pie. It sounds nice. It was at first. And then the second week, it was like, oh, chicken leek pie again. Okay.

And, oh, chicken leek pie again. Oh, okay, we're doing this every week. And it's two dinners, two lunches is what it makes. Sometimes three lunches. So it's quite a lot of the week's meals. So you said to us, I'm not a fan of the chicken leek pie. How do I broach this with my other? And we were like, just leave it, you know?

Well, like a normal person, just sit with it, suffer until you're retirement. and then maybe on your deathbed you could say something by the way I don't like you juggling behind me you've been that every day for 50 years every week do you not like it or are you just a little bit over it? A bit of both okay okay to both

Oh shivers On Friday afternoon Boom I get a text from Troy He's like it didn't go well With audio attached Oh no I got home and we had good banter Me and Neve we're on a good vibe

So why would you want to bust that up Because I'm like I feel like she's going to be receptive to this Yeah right It's a good time for it And we were talking about the meals we were going to prep for next week. And I was like, would you mind if we maybe skip the chicken leak pie for a week? And she goes, what? And I'm like, just one week off.

One week off. Let's try something new. Okay, that's good. Okay. And then this happened. I'm just sick. Come here. You hate me.

That's bad. I don't. I do. I told you it was the best one you've made this week. So. And then, then to rub salt in the wounds, the monster records it. Does she know she was being recorded? I did tell her afterwards.

Yeah. I don't know if I play this on the radio? She goes, no, you want to play radio? Well, at least she'd had that conversation now. Yeah, hey, no chicken league pie this week, guys. Brave soldier. Brave soldier. What would you have done in that situation, Megan?

I would have just given something. I would have put forward something and been like, hey, can we do this on Monday? And therefore canceling out the. without saying that you don't like it. Maybe that's a good first step. You're like, here, oh, why don't we try a different, like, bring forward a different recipe for the pie? That would have been good advice on Friday. Yeah.

So Troy's sleeping out of his car this week. I do love how she went, you think I'm dumb and fat and stupid? I'm like, yeah, that's every female. Yeah, when did that come from? Big leap, big leap, please. No, it's just all your insecurities come out in that moment. You think I'm ugly. She made a good point

She was like But the thing is I'm making you lunch And dinner Like what you can't complain And I was like that's a good point Yeah Now also in your defence You do a lot of the cooking as well Troy

This is not just A 50-50 split Yeah right Yeah I just don't like her 50 as much Still going Still going John O'Ben and Megan

The podcast The Hits Oh you can trick yourself into thinking It's almost like a Tuesday With a short week For a lot of the country Good Friday on Friday, of course.

Well, there's some weekday math. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Welcome to Tuesday. Yeah, well, it feels like a Tuesday, you know, in some ways. We like to do this. Well, this is confusing because we do this every Monday. Oh, it's made it confusing, am I? Celebrities doing mundane things.

We started this a few weeks ago, and just some great start. Like, some examples. Oh, this came through last week on the text. I saw Adam Sandler flicking snot at Vince Vaughn in real life. Oh, that's cool. That's great. Someone texting? Really?

Wow. Why should get them on? I saw such. Bill Williams having his breakfast. It feels like we need to get them on. Oh, we can do. I think they're on our Instagram account, Troy. Yeah, we'll harass them to come on.

I saw Jenna Ortega sitting in my Uber at 5.30 a.m. in the morning. She filmed here, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Wednesday, yeah. I saw Pink catching a train in Dunedin. This is the sort of stuff we love. So, celebrities doing mundane things.

She just gets driven. She feels like a person of the people, doesn't she? She's one of the battleers. Roger Tuvasasheke, are you familiar with him been? Yeah, he's leaving the Warriors going overseas to the UK, which is, yeah, I'm a good on him. He's been an amazing servant for the Warriors, you know, like an amazing player. Another one that has to run away from being. From me.

It's probably my fault, guys. He's a big fan of Roger, but, no, awesome for him. Well, there's a reason why Taylor and Marcelo Montoya had to leave. It was me. It was getting weird. But I remember I was on a jet star flight. It was a couple of years ago. And Roger was one of the last few people on the plane.

and you know that really stressful situation where you're trying to find a place for your luggage to go in the overhead compartment. Now, I was watching the poor bugger struggle trying to get his bag in. And then the attendant came up to him and said, oh, listen, I can take it for you. And she had to put it in another location.

But that is a really anxiety-fueled moment for me is when your bag is a few rows behind you because all you're thinking about is when you land. You're going to have to go against the... tied. Yeah, it's very hard to get that. To get your bag. And poor Roger was in that same situation.

He'd be like the sort of person that's lovely wait. He would probably wait for everyone to go off and then go back at your bag. Put it in front of me. Don't put it behind me. I thought it was a, yeah, I did think it was a controversial decision. But you spend the whole flight stressing about having to get your back. It's only a metre away from you. Everything's going to be fine.

It's on the same pencil that you're on. Yeah, so I'll 8100 the hits. I saw a ton of Umangar at the movies once, which was pretty cool because I've I was a big fan of Tana. Was it fast and furious? I think it was, yeah, it was going along to that. Yeah, it was. And I was like, and I was like, I met him like briefly years ago, but he was like,

I was in the line to get some snacks or whatever. And he turned around, big smile and I was like, me and I was like, me and I was like, me and I was like, oh, he's coming towards you. And he started coming, he came over. I was like, this is so cool. And you heard angels. Yeah, and I was like, wow, it was amazing. And then I realized his wife was sitting behind me in the queue.

But to Tana's credit, what he just sat at, and he talked to me for eight. And I was like, I, I'm, he really wants to be talking to his wife right now. And I was like, a lovely conversation. But all the way through, I was like, I don't, oh, and I've worked out. You just, your wife is behind me. Did you really think that his face had lit up like that to see you? He's looking at me like he's married to me. He's in love with me.

He's coming over and then. I was like, ah. But he did. He stuck around and it was pretty awesome. Yeah. I was like, I knew that he just wanted to join his wife behind me in line. Oh, well, that's how it works. Celebrities doing mundane thing.

John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. We like to find out on a Monday Your story is about celebrity spotting But we just want celebrities doing mundane things Just your everyday average things that you and I do, right? Someone's just texting, we must get them on next week But they sold shaved ham

To some of New Zealand's finest people Sir Peter Blake bought shaved ham off this person Tim Moraida Morrison Robin Malcolm, boom Shaved ham So there we go, that's the sort of stuff we want Andy. Hey, how are you?

We're doing well, mate. Celebrities doing mundane things. Who was it? What were they doing? This is probably about 15 years ago now, but I went to my mate's barbecue, and I looked across the barbecue, and Brett McKenzie from Father Kongwoods

was just turning sausages. Oh, wow. Like the rest of us turn sausages. Yeah, yeah. Did he run a pretty good barbecue operation, Brett McKenzie? He was across all the meats? He looked pretty tired. It was just after they got back from.

America from doing the HBO series. So it was right on his peak. So it was pretty cool. But he didn't look like he wanted to be there. Yeah. Was he turning sizzlers? Was it double cheese sizzlers or the butcher sausages? The old Chinese honey.

Oh, the honey soy ones. That's a classic. Like when I'm hosting and I don't want to talk, I busy myself in the kitchen. Maybe he was doing that, you know? Oh, no, it's a good spot. You can chat, but then you also have the distraction of the Half of the sauce.

Yeah, like, it's good, yeah. I can't imagine you'd be, uh, you'd be too comfortable in, as the barbecue person. No, there's a lot of pressure on the bar. I'm going to do it from time to time, but there is a lot of pressure on it. Especially when you put the steaks and stuff on. And people all stand around and start going, oh, you know, you know, you know, and so did you eat? There's not too much pressure, there's not too much pressure doing a pre-cooked sausage. Sauses?

No, I can handle the sausages, that's okay, yeah. Turn it. And so tell me, Andy, the, the quality, the texture, the, the warmth of Brett's sausages, where they, they delicious? Sausage wood delicious. Well cooked, not burned? Nice. No, not burnt.

Purfully cooked. Nice and tender. I'm going to hook you up with 100 bucks so you can buy yourself as many. Well, actually it's for your gas tank, sorry. You can buy your own sausages for your own money. Enjoy the petrol, mate. Appreciate it. Appreciate it.

Thanks, guys. Be welcome. Hi, guys. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Hey, celebrities doing mundane things. B, who did you see? I saw Stephen Adams

at a Korean barbecue in Wellington. Eating Korean barbecue? Yeah, it was really weird because he's a really tall man so it's not really hard to avoid him. Yeah, and was he eating with his hands or was he using utensils? How was he going?

Yeah, just some tongs and like the really tiny grill. It looked really tiny. I have, but yeah. So they probably cringed when he walked in. They're like, oh my God. We don't have enough Korean barbecue to feed this man. Get all the meat out.

Yeah. They would have, he would have eaten them out of the whole bloody restaurant. I think he eats a lot of, yeah, like a lot of meat steak. But, yeah, like, it feels like he's the caveman diet type sort of person, right, Cibhamham? Yeah. Yeah, good thing. I, like, it was just, I was about to leave, so, like, I ate as much as I can. Oh, you, like, you tried to get as much in as before Stephen Adams started eating.

Yeah, I was walking out. And then I just, oh. like on the corner of my eye i was like oh and did you find yourself just watch staring at him chewing or you you played it pretty cool be yeah i think because i think that's the same uh like same kind of month where uh there's a talk of him he doesn't really take photos so i didn't want to pop with him oh good on yeah that's a nice thing though yeah so it's like i'll give him privacy but the memory lasts on and it lives on on our radio show right now yeah yeah i feel bad now because i got a photo with him on the street i didn't know that he didn't like photos

Oh, he seems like a lovely guy. Yeah, no, it was nice. Just Googling, for breakfast he eats a pound of beef and six eggs. Jesus. The one's a breakfast. No one of the Koreans were nervous. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast. The Hats.

Our met a mate after work Friday. And so bearing of mind, I want to set the conditions. We're finished for the day. Us? You know, we're knocked off midday from our work duties here. That's like weekends begun. Amen. He's still in the thick of the work day.

Okay. So we're catching up for lunch. And we're walking to the location. I know where this is going. He's power walking. He's like really power. He turns to me. He's like, you're a doodler.

You are a doodler. I'm not a doodler. We're talking about that all the time. We often stand there waiting for you and you're like, wander back, you smile at people, you're the thing. We have to, like, when we're at the Wheatbex Triathlon, there's a lot of people and people want to chat and that's great. But sometimes we have to get places.

Just smile and like, and you stop. And we always have to give you a pet talk and say, walk with people. In charge, you know, this is what a do- Like, don't look around. It's like Joe Biden. We keep saying. Just walk in shuffling along, smiling. Even when someone's waiting to get a photo.

You can say, hiding for one. And be friendly. Waiting to get a photo and we're like, come on, John, and you dawdle over. By all means, move at a glacial pace. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Saunter over. That's two metres. That's two meters. Yeah. So I haven't even asked the question. You've already given me the answer. Well, you said, am I daughter.

We said, yeah. And we've talked about this before, 100%. You know, that's great. though, like I don't think you've got high blood pressure. No, I don't, yeah. All of us are like fanging around, like, he, he, he, he, he. Especially after work Friday, too. I am, I'm probably dithering.

I'd even put myself in a dithering category as well. So there we go, this was really frustrating to him. He was like, he was on the clock. He was needing to get back to work. I felt like the lunch was a big inconvenience in his workday, to be honest. You know, when you're like, to friends, let's catch up in the middle of the week, the middle of the day and we'll, you know, we'll have lunch. Both of you are like, I don't really need this.

Yeah. I can't imagine you would be a lunchtime. catch-up goal. I've never been like catching up with people but I'm probably the same. If we've got stuff to do afterwards then it's kind of like, yeah,

I have a small window around lunchtime where I get stuff down before I have to go get the kids. So will you catch up with people in that small window? No. No. It's not, yeah.

It's a part of the job of being an adult is you spend your time avoiding other adults, don't you? Yeah. It's pretty much. John O'Ben and Megan the podcast. The Hits.

No, you're probably a member of a couple of group chat, parental group chats, Ben. Yep. Megan, are you hit that stage of your parenting journey. Yeah, so many group chats. I'm a group chat.

It's just in general, really, eh? Yeah. It's handy, though. They are handy. Yeah, it's, uh, so this one came through, uh, over the weekend. Now, uh, I was driving at the time, but I saw the message pop up and I, I'm a big fan of the, um, well, not so much now, but the talk to text function. You use it quite often, don't you?

Yeah, yeah, when I can't be bothered using my fingers. You always catch me off guard. I think you're talking to me, but you're just talking into your phone. Yeah. You would think of this day and age it would have mastered the dull New Zealand accent But still there's some shaky There's some shaky ground on the old talk to text function

But you're pretty much doing a voice message Like why don't you, because I just do voice messages And send that Yeah I know producer grace always gives me grief about that It's probably cutting out one step of the process Can you do that on WhatsApp as well? Can you do the voice message? Yeah

Okay well I might get that I'll definitely do it next one Although I feel like most people receiving a voice message just go, oh, I've done it. A little bit of me, when someone seems through a voice thing, you're like, oh, this is going to be long? And then do you know, is this something

I should play right now in the room, or do I need to go away? Well, it's dictated as well. You can't realize that? Oh, wow, technology, eh? Both your bases. Well, that's handy then. No, I'll take it back then.

That's handy. But over you get it, you're like, I can't play this until later. And then I forget about it later. And sometimes you're like, this is two and a half minutes. So you're just rambling in your car at me. I bet you send long way. I bet you send long way.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh, geez. Yeah, you and Andrew, your husband send them to each other. Oh, this is dragon. Anyway, so I've gone, someone's asked me, hey, you okay to pick the girls up, our daughters.

And then I just wanted to say, hey, sweet, maybe I'll see you later. Say, hey, sweet, I can do it, maybe I'll see you later. Now, the translation, which I didn't know had come through, because I just fired that off talking and then pushed sin. Oh, okay. It came through as, instead of, hey, sweet, sweet, maybe I'll see you later. Hey, sweet baby girl, see you later.

Hey, sweet baby girl, see you later. And then I didn't know this until I arrived because I haven't heard back from anyone about this. And I was like, dear God, I've written, hey, sweet baby girl, see you later. Oh, my God. And I was like, there's like 10 people on this group chat. Oh, no. It's your wife on it? Someone's definitely screenshot it.

She's on it. Yeah. She knew what had happened. She knows my talk to text function. She's like, you can sit in. that. So that's, see, I'm out of the game now, guys. I'm out of the game. Then I'm, I didn't know. I meant to say, hey, sweet, maybe I'll see you later, not hey, sweet baby girl. See you later. People tried, people did some crying laugh emojis,

and hopefully we, uh, yeah, well, this is a gag. Could be a Netflix docker on that, maybe later on. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast, The Hits. You spent, uh, your weekend walking the boards, a couple of stay on stage appearances over the weekend. One was I knew about. the other one I didn't. Yeah, the one I did know about was with Emma Mema. We mentioned it a couple of times this morning at Eden Park over the weekend.

She was formerly in the Wiggles now, Emma Mema, and I went up as Ben Hen for a brief cameo just during one song. Dressed as a chicken out with red stockings on. Even my daughter was like, do I know that guy? Megan was like, I don't know that guy. Just watching the routine, just a beat and a half off the rest of the, just slightly off the dance beat. Like TVZ plus one.

Just a little bit delayed. That's all right. You thankfully had your phone on, Megan. Of course. How are we going, right? I'm a little nervous. I almost chickened out. You know, I'm from Australia.

I'm from New Zealand. I'm a chicken. I like crossing the road. That's what we do is chickens, safely, of course. For the kids. I love it's comedy. That's you been laughing. Had to do that for kids.

Did you? Emma's laugh was like, oh. Kids were giving you nothing. And, mate, there was some rock solid gear. Bloody kids. So that went up on stage and did that over the weekend. But then also went to the Warriors Friday night,

and it was a bit of shame the Warriors didn't play quite as well as they had been the last few weeks. It's always great to go to Mount Smart, you know, go on and watch the Warriors, go to media stadium. But friends of ours invited us along, they had lounge. They threw their work. They had lounge passes. So it was nice. So it went to go along to that. Must be nice.

It was lovely. Great way to watch the league. I'll tell you that. A little meal beforehand. Roast meats. Roast meats? Yeah, it was Pacifica night as well. So corned beef.

Oh, lovely. They themed it well. You had some Pacific sporting legends were up there. They had a little Q&A with the sun. And I was like, this is great. You enjoying your time? Oh, great time. And then at the end they had some dances, traditional, you know, Pacifica dances.

Oh, no, please no. And it was like, great. They did this amazing dance. It was incredible, you know, and it was great. And then at the end, they're like, we're going to go get people from the crowd now. And you just feel everyone like scoot down in their seats. Yeah, and people got dragged. And everyone up and I'm like, great, someone from our table,

but I'm like, great, this is awesome. That's your table done, yeah. That's my table done. And then I just see this big figure sort of point towards me. And I was like, you. And I'm like, here I go. And I don't mind going up on stage. It's okay, I can do that.

But then also, you know, it's a white guy who wants to be culturally as innocent, but I don't want to, you know, like, you don't want to offend anyone. You got to do it properly. You're not going to go up there and do a silly dad dance for sprinkler or anything like that. So you're giving a white guy. you're all. So I've given it my all at the same time in my head just going, is this culturally fine? Am I? Fine to do this? I'm cancelled.

Oh dear God. Someone's filming this. I'm cancelled. I'm cancelled. Follow what the lady's doing. Follow what the guy's doing. Follow what they're going to. There's a lot of chatter in your head. I know. There's so much in my head. If anyone's filming this, get a wide shot to show everyone on stage and then I'm part of this. Everyone's on board with this.

And they even did it one by one as well. They were incredible. That one person, the next one. Oh God, they really wanted to. The finisher. The one at the end is. I think it was okay, I hope it was okay, I tried my best, that came from a good place, guys, it came from a good place. It's just a public service announcement to be like, I'm so sorry. It's all about intention, is it there, yeah.

And I hope I did it justice, is the one's saying, because I tried my best. Would you... No weekend of terrible dancing. No twerking, no dare dancers, no nothing. It was just trying to do what was put in front of me. No planning, no rehearsal as well. But they were incredible. So you just want people to have this, if they see this video, in their mind.

Okay, there was no planning, no rehearsal. He tried his best. And what happened when you got back to the table? Oh, I sat down a little, right, a little. I was just in my head going. Is that okay? Was that okay? Was it okay? He did the same thing.

Remember on Sunday? Was that okay? Did I snap like a crocodile? Okay. Snap. Could have offended the crocodile community too. John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The Hats. Williams coming to New Zealand. I'm very excited about that. He's going to be in Auckland and Christchurch this November. performing at Eden Park 24th in November heading to Christchurch in the new stadium 28th of November

it'll be incredible to have them in the country saw they did a bit of a tour on Friday of the brand new stadium it looks like a stadium and it was raining so hard and great and great they got a roof got a roof I don't mean to be that person

but are you the type of people that go you know how you can walk through tunnels before they open to traffic and people really fizz that stuff I'm like it's a tunnel something that's quite cool though I think a tunnel I can take a leave. Yeah, but like, I'm going to drive through it.

I'm probably going to go to it. Like, I'll see it then. Why do I need to see it when there's nothing in it? Because, I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. It's weird to me. I guess you got like, I was the first person. I do stadium tours and stuff,

empty things, you overseas and stuff. So, yeah, it's probably the same thing. Well, you would. Wouldn't do a tunnel, though. I wouldn't do a tunnel at the stadium. But most shows are on sale right now at Axis.com. If you want tickets to Robbie Williams

head there right now, they will sell out fast. But we've got a double pass. to Robbie Williams to give away and we're not just going to just hand it out. No, you need to entertain us. You let me entertain you is what you need to say to us followed by your entertaining talent.

Now, we don't have much. We don't have much to lean on this program in terms of talent, but Megan, we always, one of the go-toes, a safety net for us is your dolphin. Oh, my dolphin, okay. But you know, I don't like you looking at me. Close your eyes.

It's good. It's really good. And you do a good one when you can tie a cherry stalk into a knot. Yeah, what are you guys bringing? Nothing. Nothing, nothing.

You saw me on stage yesterday with him. Nothing. I'm bringing absolutely nothing. I can't entertain anyone. Once again with the dolphin. Oh, I feel like I'm at SeaWorld. And that dolphin's saying, let me out. Go be with my family.

Producer Grace won another talent that we lean heavily on on this program. We think we've got a world record holder in our midst. Yeah, you wait until it comes through. Don't laugh, Megan. No, we're just talking about this off air. Because Grace Camer goes, thank you for thinking of this. skill was entertaining. I was like, to be honest,

it goes on way too long for me. I was like, eh, it's just something you've memorized. Which is great. But to be honest, every time we get to the radio, I'm like, oh God, what are you bringing to the show? What's your talent? Nothing. Exactly.

So you can listen to all 47 presidents. Yeah, his talent seems to really love this. Yeah, I'm like, oh, we have this again. I like it. I'll leave right now then. Do you mean me to fill a break then? I thought we were going to do the speed record one. Oh, we could try that one.

Yeah. I could try those fun. Yeah. That's good. That's good. I'm not going to sing the whole thing really silly. Yeah, the song probably does. And I get why you've learned it.

And it's impressive. Thank you, Ben. I heard it once. I'm done, it's all. All 47. It's like being in a tunnel tour. I'm not going back. Yeah.

All 47 US presidency. Okay, let me lock in. Okay, three, two, one, go. George Washington, John Adams, Thomas, Thomas, Thomas, Thomas, Thomas, Amanda Van Bambio and William Harrison, John Tyler, Taylor, Miller, Former, Franklin, Pest, James McHan,

Abraham, Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, New Lizzie says, Grant. Rutherford, B Hayden, Starth, Grover Cleve, Lennel, Lennel, Lennon, Benjamin, Harrison. Grover Cleveland, William, McHawin, William, again, William Kingley, Thirley, Thirley, Thurton, William Tauff,

Woodrow, Warren, Harton, Cullin, Herbert, Hooper, Fragend, Delano, Rosemary, Leonard, Lyndon, Lyndon, Lyndon, Lyndon, Richard, George Nekford, Ford, Jim McArthur, Ronald, Ronald, Ronald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump,

Joe Biden, Donald Trump. That's impressive. I'll give you that one. Too long, though, sorry, Grace, too long. No, I'll give you that one. 28 seconds. Well, that was 28 seconds. I can't remember what the world record was. I think the World Worker was 28 seconds. I'm at World Records.

That's a press. Do you have any World Records, Ben? Well, we didn't, you did the paperwork. We did things like we sat and go bumper cars for longer than the World Record and things like that. But we never did the paperwork on that. Yeah. So, well done, Grace. Congratulations. We can make a little bit quicker next time. That was good. Just for me. Speed round's great. So as you get into the song. Oh, God. Oh, God. Do you go. I don't do that. Kill me now. Let me entertain you

That's what you've got to do for Robbie Williams tickets John O'Benn and Megan The podcast The Hits So for the new stadium Whatever it's called Because everyone's just going to keep calling it Christchurch as the new stadium

Yeah, Takaha 1 New Zealand Stadium It's fun to say Christchurch is the new stadium though I know what you're saying Okay I've had 100 of the hits You've got to entertain us Ben's see he's going to be ruthless He's going back to Simon Cowell

Circa 2001 We'll see No probably won't be to be to be honest The bullying side and cow. And you win tickets. So we've only got one double pass to give away. Yeah, but every call it gets on the ear gets $100.

Okay. $100 fuel all ready for you, Andrew, part of our fuel frenzy this week. Congratulations. Oh, fantastic. Thank you. Much needed. Percentage-wise, how much was this about the fuel?

How much was this about just talking with the show? Oh, no. It's basically about Robbie Williams tickets. Okay, that's not going to like. All about Robbie Williams tickets. Okay, we'll entertain us. All right. Here's Millie.

is going to try and sing a song for you really millie sing a song sing a song millie millie sing who's good who's millie no i want to find out wife daughter parrot there she goes sing a song millie sing a song sing a song there we go sing a song Andrew you can't keep saying there we go I feel like the phone's doing a journey a little bit too

oh yeah he's a dog I feel like again the phone She's out of tune, out of key. Okay, all right, there you go. Sass. So, there go, that was Andrew. A lot of Andrews saying, sing a little, sing a song, Millie, sing a song. That really tickled you.

I like that, that's good. So, contestant number one was singer song Millie. Sing a song, Millie, the duet. That was good. Let's go to Julia. Happy New Year. Hi, how's it going? Entertain us, Julia.

Okay, this is my daughter, Avery. As you're reversing backwards by the sounds of it. Everything's going backwards this morning. Z-Y-X-W-V-U-T-F-R-Q-P-O-N-M-L-K-J-I-H-G-E-D-C-A. Wow. Was that you putting on a cute voice, Julia? Oh, no, I can't do that. That's impressive.

Just sounds just like you, but Minnie. That's very impressive. That's great skills. We're going to give you 100 bucks to put towards your guest ink. Well done. That's a great talent, and we need to decide at the end. One more, though. Cute factors.

So, so far, you've got singers. song, Millie? You've got a cute child doing the alphabet backwards. Sing a song Millie at the comedy valley. I thought it was really good. That was funny. Olivia. Yes. Oh, another cute kid. Hi, Olivia. How are you going to entertain us?

I'm going to tell a joke. Okay. Okay. You hit us. What did the alien say to the gardener? What did the alien say to the gardener? I don't know. Take me to your weeder.

That's a good joke, Olivia. So we're going to bring them all back on for the Savage Elimination Ceremony. Two children. Ben, remember, you said you were going to go Savage too. You children and Millie the dog. Yeah. Welcome back, Andrew Julia and Olivia. Hi.

Now only one of you can win a double pass to Robbie Williams. Ben's looking around the room for us. I said you were... Multiple judges. No, you said you were going to decide. No, I said I was going to be more savage than... Okay, so Millie's out. Millie's out.

I'm sorry, you get the 100 bucks, but that's on. That's my savage call on that one. Yeah. Okay. I just believe you don't. I feel like the phone line, unfortunately, let you down. Yeah. Oh, okay, fair enough.

But you get 100 bucks as to what goes towards your gas tank, which leaves two cute children. Who's going to Robbie Williams, Olivia? Me, definitely. You like Robbie? I don't know who he is. Okay, well, for that, we're going to get to Julia. Yay!

I don't know who this old man is. But yeah, everyone gets a hundred. Oh, my gosh, that's amazing. Everyone gets a hundred bucks as well. So that's hard. It's hard to make a call. It was very funny. You guys are great.

I was just told to ring up and win tickets for them. John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hats. Thanks for hanging out with us. Lovely to have you with us. I got an Uber on Saturday night and it was a Tesla. Now, one thing I've learned about Tesla drivers is, geez, they're proud of their Teslas, aren't they?

I love their Tesla. But I imagine you would have led them into it. Yeah, I do. You would be like, this flash, this, what's this thing? What does it do? Yeah, not every Tesla I've been in have they told me about the features, but I feel like you ask a lot of questions. I did.

And he just got it that week. Oh, the latest model. He really proud. I don't even know if it's an Uber driver or just some legend so proud of his Tesla. He's just going around picking people up and telling them about the Tesla. But essentially, he's like an unpaid sales rep for Elon Musk. And he was going through all the functions. And he was like, hey,

Tesla, tell me the weather where we are right now in German. There was a German. I got the weather in six different languages. The local weather. I was like, that's really impressive. And then he did the is like, do you want to see the driverless

function? Now I don't. I thought that was disabled in New Zealand because it's illegal, right? Well, someone should tell this guy. Yeah. But no, he... Because overseas they definitely have it. They have driverless cars and stuff. They'll pick Hands off the wheel, mate, on the motorway. Hands off, and it was just driving itself.

I wasn't 100% chill with it, but he was like, this thing could just drive you home. I could feel like I could fall asleep right now, and I would drive you home. I was like, well, please don't, but. Because can't you call them? Like, can't you make it come to you? Probably. Like a dog. Really?

Like the car. Yeah. Really? And I think if you want, like, probably overseas, because again, I don't think we're supposed to be doing that in New Zealand. But you can make it park. Like, you know how you don't like parallel park. Yeah. You can get out and you'd be like, can you park there?

My brother-in-law's got one in the States, and I was driving his car. Firstly, very nerve-wracking for me driving on the wrong side of the road and the brother-in-law's car. And then he was like, just put it in the thing, push this button, he'll park itself. I'm like, I'm not going to trust it. I don't know. You could do if you want. I guess you could do. I don't know.

I was in there. You can become part of the crowd and start sledging your own car. He's not going to make it. I'm going to make it. The car could talk you through what it's doing. And it's like, okay, Ben, now pay attention. Yeah, I know, that's not. I like that.

It's got crazy functions on it. Not that I heard this guy showcase this. Well, this guy showcased this one. But our friend had one. She can fart. Flatulance. It's like party mode and stuff like that as well where the lights would go and the doors would go up and down and stuff. You imagine the brains that Musk had working on that function.

Yeah. He's like, I want to have flatulins. They're like, boy, we've spent five years on trying to make this car gassy. He's smart but immature. Yeah. You're right. First thing this needs to do Yeah, so there we go

It was pretty impressive though And congratulations Am I Am I? Are you going to buy one now? No, I'm not a No, no I don't think Are you guys going to get into the Tesla game?

Well, I hadn't planned it up But they're pretty cool They are pretty cool I have to give them that Yeah We'll give them that They're pretty good job They're pretty cool

I'm not cool enough To have cool functions like that John O'Benn and Megan The podcast That Yes, they're saying Over 400,000 Kit Kat bars were stolen on route from Italy to Poland.

Oh, wow. 400,000. That's a lot. That is it. Yeah, a huge amount. So the Polish community out of Kit Katz. They are in a petrol crisis and a Kit Kat crisis. Yeah, no, I think they're thinking they're going to be okay, but that is a lot.

12 tons worth. I just go straight to logistics. Where are you putting them? Like, how did you steal them? It's not like they fit in your car. Do you think they thought there might have been something more valuable than Kit Katz on board the truck maybe? Yeah. Well, it's that competition recently, wasn't that for the F-1?

Maybe they were trying to win. That's what I needed to do. Hijack a truck. We'll stop other people from winning it. But it was a trip to Italy. They're already there. That's true, actually. You're right.

I was all through that plan. Well, speaking of high-level crime, Megan. Yes, great segue. I left my house the other morning, and as I left, there was someone parked right outside our house, which we're on a pretty quiet street, and you don't often see cars parked on the road. So I was like, that's strange.

it's right outside our house and I didn't recognize the car there was no one in it I just was like that's weird okay a bit of a neighborhood care in there okay did you know I didn't do anything about it did you let the Facebook community no I don't even I'm not even on it

but then when I came home from work it was still there and that's when I looked and saw that there was some glass so I went over and it turns out the car has been stolen stolen the car and then parked it outside my bloody house which is a very

It is a random location. But then I was like if I'd stolen it, if I parked it outside my house, does that then make it look like it wasn't me? I better not say that on the radio. It wasn't me. The last place that you'd park it would be outside. Hide in plain sight, yeah.

But you got your own car. Why do you need to sell another car? Yeah, I don't know. And it was full of Kit Katz. But they'd taken the radio out. The ignition had been yanked out. The window was smashed. the boot was slightly popped

and we were like what if there's something in the boot what if there's like Kikats in the batham 400,000 I don't know like my husband was like what if there's a bag of cash in the boot I was like well they would have taken it with them

Yeah don't touch it I know that lesson I said don't touch it because then it's going to have your fingerprints blah blah blah so this car also it was a Nissan Teter which always tops the list is the most stolen cars You think Nissan might do something about that

you know or maybe it's good marketing for the car to every year they get the most stolen vehicle I guess if one's stolen people have to buy new ones too yeah so we called the police and they just came and towed it

came and picked it up yeah right and that was it took it away I was like no I'll never know like do the people get it back in that crusty condition or do you want the case closed do you kind of

kind of want it closed I feel like the police have got other issues on their hands oh we must tell Megan what ended up with it more of insurance thing. Was there anything in the boat?

Honestly, if they'd left it there another hour, I would have gone into the boot. But I don't know this morning, what did you be found outside your house? What's the most unusual thing? Is your thing still outside? Yeah, well, yeah, a soft toy chicken with very long legs.

She's been sitting there, but keep waiting for someone to come out and pick it up. Where is it? Sitting by the fence. And it's been sitting there for probably a month now. Your mother-in-law gets quite protective over the chicken.

Just people walk past and they sit up and have a look. She's like, what they do with the chicken? I'm like, it's not our chicken. It's like it's somebody else. But now she likes it. So I was like, yeah, it's been through some rough conditions recently too. Soggy.

Does your dog not like chew it or not? No, it just kind of sits there and I'm like, the chickens, I guess it's ours now, but I don't really want it. You're going to be sad when the chicken goes? Yeah. Oh, ain't under the hits, okay? The funniest thing you found outside your property. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast. The Hits.

Most random and amusing things you found outside your house. So many texts and calls coming through for this. Yeah, some good ones. I remember it was several years ago. We're in an old place. middle of the night, it's like 3 o'clock in the morning and I just hear a person going, let me in, let me in!

And you know when you are woken at that hour of the night, it's just something like that? So you go to the front door and Ben, you might do this sometimes too. You try and lower your voice by a couple of octaves to make yourself feel bigger. Or sound bigger?

Scarier. You're like, who's out there? Who is it? And it was a lady trying to bash and get on the door and she was like, my kids love your shit. And I was like, oh dear God. Oh, no. It's always good to meet a fan.

Come on inside. I want a photo. A selfie. And, yeah, the police ended up coming, but she, yeah, it was wild because stupidly I had left my keys in the lock of the door by pure coincidence the night before. So then she's like jangling the keys. And I'm like, could this get any worse right now? And my voice couldn't get any deeper. She liked the show.

That was probably going to be worse if she hated the show. like, great, okay, thank you very much. So, yeah, that was what was outside my house? Oh, 800 of the hits. What has been outside your property? Haley. Hello. Good to have you on and Todonga.

Thank you. So we had a cat who was a bit of a huntering gatherer, and he'd catch like pookicos and rabbits and things. And then one day he had something outside and he was like, what the heck is that? And we went out and he had stolen a hot chicken from someone. Oh, what? Like the cat had brought a hot chicken? Yeah, it was in like those white tin foil bag.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I was going to say, like, if it was on someone's bench or whatever, that's a miraculous achievement from the cat. But if it's in a bag that was just lying around, I guess. Where would have got it? A windowsill or? Or maybe like the boot was open and they were unloading groceries.

It was quite hot, but we asked a few neighbors, and they had no idea, so he might have gone far and wide. I don't know. It was probably quite heavy for the cat to carry. Yeah, and shout out to the cat who was catching rabbits as well, The odds are stacked against the cat in that chase. Did you eat the chicken? No.

No, we did give it to the cats, but I don't know. It's probably not. No, I probably wouldn't take a risk with that. You ate six-day-old chicken that didn't work last week. Have you not learned anything? Give that a roll of the day. Hey, Haley, every caller that makes it to wear this week is going to win free fuel. It's our fuel frenzy and you've got $100 worth, all right?

Amazing, thank you so much. Was it the only reason you called us? I just wanted to tell someone that story. Oh, okay. Good on you. You want to hear it. Yeah, good. Is the only reason you're calling us Hannah to get free petrol?

It was definitely one of them. I'm sorry. Haven't heard from Hannah otherwise. That's fine, Hannah. Okay, funniest thing outside your house. So we woke up one morning. It was back in, I don't know, probably 20 years ago. And when a little town decided to have these giant horses dumped around town,

as statues, and our neighbours were quiet. party animals, I'd say. Nice bit party animals, and they decided to take one of the horses, and we woke up with a giant horse, wearing us in the face. But you said statues, were they not like... Yeah, like size statue. Oh, right, and so they were ripe for,

like road cones, ripe for a late night thieving. Yeah. And was it in your lawn? It was outside the front, yeah, and we just woke up to a giant horse. Great prank, great man. It's going to look like you stole it, too. That was the thing, yeah.

Yeah. And so do you have to... It was very entertaining. Was it on you to put the horse back? No, no. One of the guys ended up putting it in their house. And then so when one of the others woke up later, because they snick in quite a lot.

He woke up to a giant horse in his room. Good revenge. Mafia. I love it. We're going to hook you up with a hundred bucks to put in your gas tank. Thanks for you. Oh, that's so awesome. It's so hard to get free to you guys.

This is the first time I've ever. I'm glad we could reward you with a gasoline.