The Fighter & The Kid - Fan Favorite Episode 728 Shane Gillis

Episode Date: March 29, 2026

Shane Gillis joins the crew and the guys talk Shane's departure from SNL and getting "canceled", going on Joe Rogan's podcast, dipping nicotine pouches, Shane's football background, gaming, Last Chance U and much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You don't want to spit that shit out That's why you do those spits these days Do you get in trouble on the airplane with it If they see him like sir no tobacco No, no one cares Because yeah I don't spit But they'll be like certain notes I'm like no it's not like that

Oh it's a little pouch So now how many milligrams are you doing right now This is six milligrams Six milligrams He's got one he's got one in Yep Now hold on how many You're doing 18 milligrams

Don't be a pusher Don't be a pusher You're being a bully pusher Yeah No he's like a guy guy I was thinking my boy Mike Catherwood I'm not even trying to flex on us right now there's no flex about doing multiverse sense there is like a frat we're like a frat we're like a frat yeah yeah we're a flat house yeah but Mike Catherwood he gets them from Sweden and they're 40 milligrams oh no

40 that's this is I took one that it literally threw up everywhere is Mike doing 40 milligram he's a he's a nut he's a nut now you do you do three patches I do three six milligram patches at the same time so your blood pressure is always super high Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then I live my life one quarter mile at a time like Ben Diesel. And then 16, about 16 shots for real of espresso a day.

Yeah. All right. So six does nothing for you. And then he'll lift a lot of weights to really boost the pressure where he holds his breath and it's heavy. I do cardio too. Yeah. I'm not saying you don't, but why are he doing it?

Why are you doing it? I'm not. That's just crazy. Because cocaine is too scary. Because cocaine is too scary. Yeah. Do coke. Yeah, that's probably the next step, my man.

Once it's... No, no. How long have you been doing nicotine? Since I was like 13. Oh, shit. Dipping since I was... But you were used like dipping different. I was just dipping, yeah.

Fiberglassed and shit. Yeah. I don't like that. When did you stop dipping? I did this morning. I had a dip. It's the first in the morning, so I'm up at like 5.30. First thing I'd make the strongest coffee you've ever...

And you're up at 5.30. Yeah, I got to sleep? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I go to bed by 9 usually. Unless I'm on the road. How do you sleep? With 16 shots?

It doesn't phase me, dude. His adrenals are flat as pancakes. He's got like little, they've atrophied. But there's nothing better than you. I'm sorry to cut you. You must be crazy. Me crazy? You must be wild.

Crazy. Cool, dude. Bread, bro. Brendan, you're pushing this. I know. I'm trying to get you on the rogue train, though, because I started with the same ones you did. Yeah. If you're looking for a flavor, you're looking for a flavor day.

Eddie? His is mint. Dude, I'm telling you, as far as flavor, crush it. I feel like psychologically, you're doing a couple things. I feel like psychologically, like he went and said, do you think I have CTE, football for, you know, 17 years, fighting for eight? And the doctor goes, 100%. You have 100% CTE. He goes, what do I do?

He goes, basically take a lot of fish oil and that's all we know. He's like, cool. So then, but I think nicotine's good for your brain. Yes, that's why I started. Nick King's good for your brain. That's the thing they found with like smokers, like our grandparents shit that were dying from smoking. they found out none of them had dementia or like brain issues.

It's because they all died. They did die, but they were older. But they were older died. They were older. Yeah. So we'll see. That's what I tell myself. We got to get you on the rogue train, though.

I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not tied to Zen. Yeah. How many times a day do you do that? I don't know, all day. Did you ever smoke cigarettes?

I did when I tried to quit dip. But no, I was never like a smoker. You were aware. Whiskey guy? No, I don't like whiskey that much. Beer. Just light beer. Yeah.

Yeah. You're like an all-American baby. He's an American. Dude. Dude. He's a guy. He's a guy looking for a place to watch some games, grab a beer. I'm like, four.

Yeah. You're like good. Yeah, the Eagles look good. Oh, that's your squad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think Jalen hurts is the answer? I was not sold on him, but he looked good. He's a baller, man.

He looked good. Better than fucking Wendz. Yeah, I loved Wins. Poor, me too. I was a fan. He's going to do well. He's going to be good. I think he's good.

You think? Yeah. He's hurt again, though. He's all right. He hurt his foot in camp, and they thought he was going to be out for like six weeks. You know, Wenz, like, when the Eagles won the Super Bowl, Wentz was like, he's going to be MVP, got hurt. Got hurt. Nick Foles comes in, wins him the Super Bowl. And everyone's like, what do we do now?

And then he comes back. Then he gets hurt. Yeah. And then he just hasn't. It just hasn't worked out. Yeah, he just never got it back. But he's fucking good. He's a great option for if your first, if your first string gets hurt, right?

Wentz? No, he's a starter. Wentz is a startup, but when Foles comes in, and does that mean that they keep Wence as a backup? No, they paid too much. Okay. And that's what the Eagles is they paid them, like, way too much money. Yeah. They trade them to the cults.

Yeah. Right? Yeah, trade. Yeah, for like a draft pick. Yeah. They're like, I'm sorry. But they're going to have, like, three first round draft picks next year. The Eagles, they look all right.

Do you play football? I did. Where? I went to. What team? team. I went to Army and I quit. You went to the Army?

I went to the United States Military Academy for three weeks. And realized it wasn't for you? Yeah, I realized it was pretty quickly. You're working out, you got nice legs. He goes, I just heard him mumbled. He said, Peloton. I love Peloton. So you went to out of high school, you went to the Army?

Yeah, for football. Oh, for you. Yeah, good Army. Yeah, they're really good. Yeah, yeah. You're good at football. Tough kids. I quit.

And then I went to Elon. It's one double A in North Carolina And you play ball then played one year What position? Then quit I played offensive guard Oh dang You were big Yeah it was big

Like what It was like 300 Oh my shit Yeah I used to be strong now And then when Now I'm just gay Maybe a soy boy Now you're fucking artistic

Now I'm an artist Yeah You know he has a fucking journal Every day You do on the road Can you keep it down I'm writing my journal What the fuck?

Can you imagine What he's writing He's probably like drawing pictures Of like cats I feel like stah pictures killing me I just say that I'm just honest with myself Yeah He journals every day

Stick figures He was making fun of my bag I gotta get rid of the bag Which bag? He's right You're right You're right Yeah He's like all by it from me

Dude I got We got out the car We were going to get Starbucks First thing you said Well Get rid of it You know What are you carrying in there

A journal Yeah You bring it In the StarP? You brought a journal. At least carry a flask or something. I can't see a knife in there. A knife.

Yeah. That's it. I have a knife. I have a machete. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that. Tim Kennedy, Tim Kennedy had a fanny pack. And I don't know if you remember this.

We were like, what's in your fanny pack? He's like, well, let's take a look. Knife. Like TNT. Like Fier. Like a GSP. Because he's a special forces guy. Yeah.

Because he's got to keep America safe. You keep doing what you do and he'll do. He'll do what he does. He stresses me out. He's fighting at the board right now. He goes, is it bad? I go, is it bad now? He goes, oh, terrible.

Yeah, nothing faze. You never heard of Tim Kennedy? I have heard. Oh, so you, so you played football at Army. Yeah, I played one year of college football. Then he went to E-LIN. Then when did you quit? And then he quit.

Then when did comedy come in the locker room? Like, were you the funny guy in the locker room? Yeah, yeah. You're the funny guy in Locker. Well, it's because I sucked. I had to be funny. Yeah, you got to be funny. Make your words.

Especially the offensive line's usually funny. Yeah. And then when you're the worst offensive line, You got to be extra. That's all I had. So then you, then when did stand-up start? You started doing over-endix, is it? Probably like two years later, yeah.

So a little later start, right? Yeah. I mean, I did say that, but. I was like, 22, 23 when I started. Shane, tell us about your special. He's like, I'm so done with podcasts. Yeah. Have you been doing?

Yeah, I've been doing all the, you've done the whole game. It's a brutal, man. It is. But that's all right. But with your, I'll say this is your special. I mean, we've highlighted. I even talked about it on my Instagram today. Chris DeStefano

Chris is a good buddy of mine He texted me He goes dude Shane Gill is special Watch it Oh that's nice That's nice Chris is a man

It was great You know when it first start You got to be in like comedy mood Like my kids were like running around And I went outside Like okay Let me just fucking check this out Because I'm a fan of you

Thanks And then it starts And then I was like all right It's good And then we get to the Trump stuff I was texting the whole group Oh yeah Yeah

I was like bro Yeah Yeah Trump's funny He's funny He's funny Say what you will Do you see him at the Vanderholyfield

stuff? I didn't even get to see it. What do you do? He's like, I'm not even try it. You're the guy who does the best impression of him but he goes,

I'm a, he's like, I've been friends with these guys for years. Yeah. For years. He goes, I love these guys. Like Anderson Silver.

I love him. And everyone's like, all right. Yeah. He's like, and he's trying to break it down. Because you know he came from the 9-11 shit

and then just be lined in a private jet down to Florida. He's a monster, right? He's on all. the Adderall or where the fuck you're calling a fight on 9-11 as the president no I didn't do anything sad fight Biden didn't do anything true he didn't even

yeah you could make an argument Trump did the most American thing correct a fight a fight promote and make money he also he also said he goes I would like to fight Joe Biden I think oh yeah he did say that being that clip was fucking hilarious I'd beat him around yeah CNN's like is there nothing less sacred now he it's like hey I He's joking around. Yeah, they don't, CNN doesn't understand they're making him more funny.

Correct. Whenever they're famous. Can you believe he said this? It's like, yeah, it's funny. You're making it funny. And what CNN does is obviously, they have a,

I mean, their ratings are fucking terrible. But what they do is when they go after Trump are now, you know, Trump kind of pop back up, but now they're going after Rogan. It's like, you realize when you do that, it brings more fans to them.

Because people, but people might hate them, but they really hate you guys. Jordan Peterson said that. Jordan Peterson on Rogan said, You know, I hate to say this out loud, but I've made so much money off the social justice warriors. Because every time they protest one of his speeches, people fight back and support you. Well, he just makes so much money.

It's like every time you guys hate on me, I make more money. It's the same with haters on YouTube or whatever. It's like you guys realize when you leave comments, I make money, correct? Like, that's how this game works. It's crazy. So you guys dislike it or leaving comments, it puts money in my pocket. So keep it up. It's just good promotion, man.

I thought it was balzy to release it on YouTube. It used to be this thing, right? If you release a special on YouTube, it's like, each, everyone passed on the guy. I had to fucking upload to YouTube. But now I think with Mark Norman, did you hear his special was like the third most watch special of the year? Like his blew up.

And so I think more like legit comics like yourself, like, you know, Norman, those guys, like more people do that. And then I think it's getting, take a big dog like rogan somebody's also going to do it because if you want the most eyeballs you want to sell the most tickets it's YouTube man I mean

it's free it's right there it's on your phone how did YouTube cut was there well I didn't have a choice nobody nobody was buying my special you know what though but I don't it's not because you're not because you're not a talented comic the subject you talk about I even text Rogan I'm like dude there's no way Netflix would find you okay

this like the stuff he talks about which is hilarious there's like there's you got dice Yeah. I mean, you still see blowback from that other bullshit. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Only in like the industry.

Only in Hollywood. Yeah. Like only if like trying to sell like the sketch show or a show we made, people will be like. I mean, the Jeopardy host had to step down because he literally, like 10 years ago on a podcast called a girl a booth ho. Yeah. A booth slut. Oh, what he was saying?

Oh, you were a booth ho. Like he was just saying when you're at a convention center, you're in the booth. And he just kind of said that. And then I guess he fatched. or he said something problematic about somebody's heavy. And he was a monster. People loved him. Yeah, he wasn't necessarily calling her a hoes just saying No, and he had 10 years ago

10 years ago he had to step down from as an executive producer and a host like and you up the mistake he made was apologize. My boy Michael Davies running now though So that's just going to blow it. But uh, Jeopardy? Yeah. She was about to take a lot. Year 50.

Year 50. Here we go. Young audience. But for you, with the blowback, like, at some point, you just got to say, fuck Hollywood. Like, your sketch show, you know, where would you, who do you want to sell it to? You know what I'm saying? Like, you're in a different lane. Yeah.

We can just keep making stuff. Yeah. It doesn't matter. And you just sell your tickets on the road. Yeah. And it's in the show is all, it's all in-house. It's all their production. Yeah, yeah.

It's just our friends. You have a team, everything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are all guys from Philly. Yeah. Fuck you. Yeah. Just buddies hanging out.

It's so much fun. It's very fun. It's a lot of work, though, isn't it coming up with funny? Well, I don't. McKeever, the guy, John McKeever writes. Right. He's the writer? He's the writer. The girl's brilliant.

You need a beast. Kyla. Yeah, she's crazy. She's so funny. Yeah, that's Six's girlfriend. Oh, it is? I love Brian. Is she a comic?

No. She's just a comic, not an actor, none of that. Oh, she's hilarious. She's a comedian's girlfriend. Oh, fuck. Get her in here. She's hilarious. That's fucking crazy.

Have you seen a sketch with Trump? No. Maybe she should MC when Brian 6 is featuring Well, I don't know how she'd do Yeah, that might have be your skill set Well, I didn't see it. So he does this Trump speed dating thing

She sits down. That's why I was like, oh damn, she's That's when I was like, oh damn, this girl's legit. She's a legit actress? Yeah. Well, that's because... I was like, should she go for Saturday Live after this?

It's kind of... I don't want to shit on Kyla because I love Kyla, but that's like who she is, kind of. Oh, interesting. So like, when she sat down, some of those lines, she was actually fucking up and we're like no this is good it looks real

happy actions yeah it was great you gotta watch the speed date yeah she's great she's very very funny yeah she's like pro Trump everything we put her in she's really fucking fun some people just yeah she to me she's like your special sauce for sure like when I watch it like

all you guys are brilliant but she's like the special sauce she's just a crazy lady yeah she's the crazy lady yeah yeah man that's dope brother Why are you grabbing me? How do you guys know each other? We met Cluster Fest. Cluster Fest. JFL, I think.

And JFL, we were on the, like, up next at Comedy Central's Cluster Fest. And then New Faces. We did new faces. JFL. Two or three. Two or three. I think three. Yeah.

JFL didn't do it this year because of COVID, right? Something like that. No, they did something. Two. Because it was the one before. It was 2019. Yeah. Yeah.

In not Vancouver, right? Montreal? Yeah. I was like, no, we did the Montreal. But yeah, yeah,

I don't know, we just became homies because I heard a lot about him before everyone, I don't know, when I had posted, I was doing the cluster fest, we were like,

yo, you got to meet Shane Gillis, like, you guys would be boys or whatever, and here we are just, pals. When somebody does that, that's hard to figure out.

I heard about you because I've seen Shultzies, my boy, Tim Dillin, and then I was like, God, there's all these, like monsters out there, man.

You guys just need to fucking start doing stuff like the LA guys. Everyone's doing stuff and everyone just leapfrogged us. Everyone's blown up and then all of them like, dude, you see Shane Gillis. I'm like, really?

That's when I looked you up. There is a whole New York thing now. You guys are all rough for the same age, all coming up together. Yeah. But all like taking over. Yeah. Like you think about Schultz.

Yeah. Shultz can probably play Massacre Garden next year. Like, Shultz sells great. You have many tickets these cells? Crazy. It's fucking nuts. Well, you have Schultzian and

Tim Dillon, I mean, biggest patron there is, and he sells stupid tickets. We have the same agent. You find out his ticket sales that hurt your feelings. And then, you know, then you got Chrissy D doing his goddamn thing blowing up. And then, you know, you're the guy, man. Yeah, you're, because you're about to do your first weekend since

you did your special. Yeah, yeah. Was Nate Bargotsie with you guys in New York? He was older. He was older. Yeah, he was older. Yeah, it's pretty wild, man, watch. Yeah. There's just, like, harnessing social media and the way you guys are coming together. Plus, New York holds you to a high standard. I mean, New York is just like, you can take a cab and hang out that club and then do like five sets in a night.

Yeah. And there's something about in New York where if you get too happy with yourself or it becomes too commercial or whatever, you get called on the mat. So I don't know if it's still that way. It is. But there is still that sort of, there's a purity there. There's a, there's a standard there. Yeah.

And you're kind of in the way. Like pride being like the comic. Yeah. I get that. But then eat ramen noodle every night. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's, I think that's the whole. Yeah, that was like the hold up with like the L.A.

guys doing all the promo and podcasts and merch and all that. very un-New York. And then the New York guys were like, fuck that. Yeah. It's like, it's always been that we see us driving for a lot of, and shit. It's like, fuck that.

Yeah, it builds a resentment. You kind of want to hold on to some of that. Like I always feel like, because New York, there's a reason. Well, it's not just grit. It's like you, at the end of the day, when you're sitting around that table at the comedy seller or wherever you go. Yeah.

You know, you got Colin Quinn. You got Louis C.K., you got all the old dudes who've been doing it forever. And a lot of guys, you have a lot of guys, heard of that are murderers. Like Greer Barnes is a fucking murderer and all these guys. So what happens is they'll kind of let you know.

Oh, they'll let you know. They'll let you know. If you start getting... I don't know. Too big for your bridges? Yeah, and also just a little too... It's almost like a little... So you'll see some people who can write a really good song and there are tricks and hooks and rhymes to it and it's real commercial.

Then you see somebody who's doing something different with music, you know? And you're always expected to keep it that way. sure i guess but i but i think there's something to it because like you because you can be a grinder you can be that comic comic and then still also update with the times because then you get a guy like kevin hart sure andrew shultz you know what i'm saying it's like you need it's like you have to yeah you absolutely otherwise you are that's exactly right that way it's just me playing you know yeah you're gonna crush it at the you know the seller or the store but all right not pay you right yeah yeah 100 you get respect from everybody but it's like i think that the one thing that

that i've always struggled with is you know know it's just the fact that a huge part of your job is figuring out how to promote how to be relevant yeah market yeah and i have trouble yeah i have trouble with it yeah i have to and you got it you have to do it's exhausting it's exhausting but i feel like you i feel like you do pretty good i try not to do it yeah which is the word but it's like authentic to you it's like it's shame that's way shame would promote yeah it's because now it's a youtube special so i have to i have to if i put you on the spot and i was like Shane tell us about your special you got to i'm going to give you I'll give you 20 seconds

I'll love this Ready go There's no chance Like a news station I can imagine Have you One last time you did like real press I mean obviously COVID yeah

Like real press Dude I stopped doing it like Some of them asking fake questions to Right You ever had that where they go Give us some lead in questions So that you can do some bits At nightmare

I'm like I'm not doing a bit I can't do it Give us a joke here Give people a little taste working the seat And I'm like What? Yeah my sister That was heroin.

It's so awkward. I'd stop doing it. You have the number of questions. So you got to tell us, Brett. What's tougher? Get inside that octagon or get on stage showing jokes.

Go. Oh, fuck God. That's actually, what's the answer? That's a good question. It's got to be the octagon. That's got to be the scariest thing

in the fucking world. They're both scary, man. The octagon is the worst. It's brutal. The one thing about him is terrifying. The one thing about him is, I remember I never I felt bad I did it we were in Seattle and it was like 1800 people in a in a theater and we were doing a net

We were doing I don't know what it was we were doing a live podcast And Brendan had zero experience in front of people like zero And but he was like let's do live podcast so So I I remember I kind of was like you're gonna go out I'm gonna be I'm gonna pretend to be late You're gonna go out and tell a story and you're gonna be alone on stage and I kind of just pushed him out there you know and And he was like, and he did like, you did a couple breathing exercises. I think you learned from Navy SEALs. Yeah, you both.

And then you just go out there and did really well. And then I remember, I was like, I shouldn't have done that to you. You know, I shouldn't have, that's a fucking big thing. Because if you've never done that, that's, that's a disaster. That's terrible. So he did great. And then later on we were talking, you're like, I've been getting out there in my underwear against monsters and they lock a cage.

and you got to come out and you could die. And I think once you face that, it's a, it's, you know, I don't know. It got you ready. Yeah, it got you ready. Especially like jumping into the deep end and get you ready. Everyone's like, oh, you skipped open mics. Are you talking about with other disgruntled comics out of fucking love you mat? I used to get bad about that.

Yeah, I was doing 1,400 people fucking sold out shows. It was a beast, man. Super beast. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. It's, I always said that. You can't say that. It was very different for you.

First of all, you've been podcasting for a long time. Did you, uh, you just came up, do you come up in the Philly scene and then go to New York? Yeah. Yeah. So it was, yeah. So I didn't do, I didn't do the mics in New York ever. So that was, that was kind of, that was an interesting way to do it. Most people, you moved to New York and have to work your way up.

I was already, like, because Soter and Jay were already taking me on the road and using me. And I waited a long time. Jay, who? Big J. Big J. I waited a long time before I moved. I moved when I moved to New York like two years ago, three years ago. Oh, shit.

Before that, you were in Philly. I was just in Philly for like six years. And then your home club there was, what, the helium? Helium, yeah. It's great fun. I love that fucking club. Oh, that's the best. That club is fucking amazing.

One of my favorite clubs. So then you were just going around there and then you were going, where'd you meet Big J and Dan? When they were at Healing. I featured for him. Oh, damn. Yeah. I like. Sodor took me on the road and the Jay took me on the road.

Soder's a Denver boy, man. Yeah. That's my guy. Wait, so they already knew about you in Philly or the club booked you and it was like, hey. The club booked me. Got it. Now, I don't know if you know this, but I'm going to do Denver coming up here and you got to be vaccinated or show your proof of a negative COVID test. That's the first time I'm saying the crowd does.

I know. Yeah. I didn't know that. You'll probably see. That's the first time I've seen this. I've dealt with it. I'd have to deal with it previously. You'll, and it's just what it is, you'll see about a 5 to 10% drop off on ticket sales.

Okay. Yeah, because people... But Denver's like 85, 90% vaccine, so Denver shouldn't be anything. Really? When you go other places, you get dicey. But then you've got to show basically proof on your phone, I guess, right? I don't know how they're doing.

There's, like, no, like, system. Like, they haven't... I saw that yesterday. I was like... For Denver, yeah. I don't know. I guess I got to make a thing about it, but I don't know. It's interesting.

They have a QR code that you can scan and show your vaccine thing. I'm pretty sure. On your QR code? Yeah, yeah. Because in Denver, they take your phone. Like, you know, in Denver, comedy works. Yeah, which is great. Yeah, I love it.

I love it because it focuses the audience. It's amazing. Yeah. Well, the thing when you're out, I mean, I'm not that addicted to my phone, but people, I have friends who are, it's like you go to, I mean, Justin, David. We go out to lunch on the road and they're like, just on their phone. Like, dude, you could be, you'd be doing stamp in Iraq. You're on the beach in San Diego, dude.

Give off the phone. Wait, do you have kids, Bubba. When you have kids, if you have a 13-year-old daughter, she's on her phone. She's TikTok. anime the whole world her friends you're competing with everything yeah i don't play that shit tiger gets his iPad you know once a week yeah and you're smart yeah and you're smart because that's what we started doing yeah you know it's like no no because it's addictive it's made to be it's made to be yeah it's made to be addictive yeah you made to be addictive it's it's like uh it's just like even the

the the moving like you know how on twitter how you do this that move is for like like you slot machines It's an addictive movie. Yes. Yes. Like, it's all. And then when you tell your kid, they can't play on it, they have some withdrawal symptoms. They act like a junkie. They'll be like, they get irritable and angry.

And you're just like, hey, hey, hey. I never felt older than the last night. I went to my son's first teacher parent conference. And I dressed up like a fucking dad. I had khakis on and shit. Nice. And I was sitting in. You are a dad.

You should start dressing like that. Just wear that. He likes fashion too much. You guys all love fat. You don't give a fuck, huh? No. The black socks and sand on. I walked in, I was like, yeah, he said,

this outfit on every podcast. I'm the same right. It's just your thing. Jim shorts. I like the Adidas slippers. Those are my favorite. They look comfortable as fuck. Thanks, bro.

Notre Dame. You look like the quality control offense coordinator for the Notre Dame. That's what I'm going. You know, like you have the paper? That's all I care about. You're a Notre Dame fan from Philly? Love Notre Dame. Why?

My grandpa and cousin played. Fear point. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. That's a connection. Yeah. My grandpa was CT'd. Bad?

Bad. See, I didn't know. I just told this. It's, uh, he, every story I ever heard of my grandpa was him, like, fighting people. All he did was attack people. And then, like, every story, like, he'd be punching cars. He was an animal. And he was, like, six, five.

He was huge. And, uh, when he died, he had a heart attack. And then he woke up on the operative. table out of the anesthesia and tried to fight like the nurses. His heart exploded. So he woke up and was like, you motherfuckers. Ah! And then, so nobody

and my family ever put it together. And then they showed me this newspaper clipping from like the 20s when he was playing that he was held out of against Purdue. He couldn't play because of a head injury. And if you have a head injury in the 20s. You can have an earl through your fucking head. They like you like, you like cracked his skull. Well, when you have a brain, my friend had a traumatic brain injury fell out of a van

and hit the back of his head. And And they had to strap him down. When I went to see him in the hospital, he was strapped to the gurney. I was like, why is he strapped to the gurney? They go, well, when he comes to, he'll come too periodically. When he wakes up, he tries to fight us because he bruised the front of his brain. Oh, no. Well, there's two things that happen when you get concussed.

Like, it is what it is. I don't know. I'm sure maybe it's genetic or something, but when you get concuss, either you get really aggressive and you want to fight, like your grandpa's trying to kill everybody or you get really emotional. I cry. I cry. The times I've been knocked out. Yeah, I would cry.

Yeah. You have any crazy injuries? No, I tore my MCL and LCOO. Did you get, nothing with the head? Did you get many concussions playing football? I played O-Line, so it was like... They say that's the worst. Yeah, it's just slow and gradual.

Yeah. But it was never... You know, like, how old are you? I'm 33. So, I mean, similar, but growing up, like, playing Pop Warner, when you get to, like, oh, you got his bell rung, like, get back in there. Yeah. Like, now you think about it, like, hey, dumbass.

Yeah. Bell rung means I shouldn't be. practice. How often would you get your bell wrong? Because you're bigger. In college was tough. Playing fullback. Dude, that must have...

My friend played fullback here to see. He had like seven concussions in like one season. Did you ever have some concussions? It was just non-stop. You did. Oh, in football? Yeah. And you knew you had a concussion.

Fullback for Big 12. For Big 12? That's the, that's the position. You're running through the day. Just middle linebackers of fullbacks over and over. So I was fullback in the Big 12 and then I was the wedge breaker on special. Oh my God. And I was the wedge.

Oh, my God. They were like, this. This white guy, just get his big ass on there. He'll be okay. And what they used to do... And then he used to spar. Then he used to fight, like, in the UFC. Then what they used to do during film...

It's all terrible, dude. I'm on so much supplements. Anyways, what they used to do in film on Mondays after the game that have, like, a whole... Everyone would laugh because I'd get, like, my bell rung. I'd light some guy up. Yeah. I was like, dude, I got a headache.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no doubt. What does this wedge breaker mean again? So I explained it one. kickoff. They got rid of this. They got rid of it. They don't even have it in football. It's the most dangerous.

That's how dangerous it is. Yeah, they don't have it. There's rules and yes. Bring up, yeah. So hold on. So you know, so let's say the start of the game, there's a team that the kickoff team kicks the ball. Yep. So there's the return man.

Yep. From the return man is a wedge of human beings that, that go, like, try to block so he can score a touchdown. Okay. Then there's a guy who's a McCom-Makazi guy that runs to break that wedge so those guys can't. his job is literally to dive straight into that wall and it's sprinting 50 yards into each other. I mean it's

yeah they got rid of it. Is there a video of this? I mean I'm sure I mean I don't know how the fuck you're I mean you're trying to hit with your I feel fine. You feel good you're trying to hit with your arms and your shoulders first right? No fuck no you don't know what I can't

think of anything worse I just not built for that it was my thing you know what's like your thing yeah so it was like your thing. Yeah. So when we're playing Texas in the Big 12 championship,

I'm going to like, oh, I'm going to like this fucking dude up. Because there was another guy who was going to meet you halfway.

Yeah, they have a crazy guy too. Of course they do. I mean, it's like Ronnie Lott. I was watching this thing on Ronnie Lott. Ronnie Lott would

knock himself out. Ronnie Lott would fucking hate you and go out. Like he would just throw himself. If you, if you YouTube

Wedgebreaker, you'll see these. They're literally like the Japanese pilot just fucking flying into the goddamn Kamikaze. there. Does anybody know what Kamakazi means?

Crazy. Divine wind. Thank you. It's funny. It's funny to say it. Then look up. Divine wind. And I just leave you guys with that. I guess we're in a toupee.

What you're going to see at the plus. So you see him see he catch it? See the two guys grab arms? Yeah. To block for the ball. I'm the big white guy in the left. That is a foul as well. There's actually... This isn't a good one.

Two man wedges that are formed on this place. See how those two guys come together? That would be a small wedge. Rewin that? Watch this dude get cracked back top. It cuts over from Alabama. He rewind that to the... And blind sides to do?

Yeah, there's a dude who runs to the left, right to left. Boom! Oh my God. Back up the field. What you're going to see at the plus 45, two players come together. Damn. Shoulder to shoulder to block for the ball carrier. And so that is a foul.

well. Why is that a foul? Actually two. Why is that a foul? So when it was a longer one, you were the middle of it. And you just wait for the guy to, like, blow you up. But I was the guy that would blow it up, too. Yeah. So I got them both.

You just spend it a lot of time fucking helmet on helmet with other dudes. Yeah. Those guys are, yeah, that was like the scariest guy on the team, though. Yeah. I hated blocking those dudes. The worst. There was middle linebackers that were like that would, like, lead with their helmet. Yeah.

And I played offensive line. So, like, you're kind of, like, we played zone blocking. So I was always kind of upright. not really firing out and dudes would just dive straight into your fucking head it's nuts it was terrible and you can't leave with the helmet anymore it was what they say right

as an offensive line you kind of can but that's not how nobody blocks that way you block with your hands yeah oh so was your dream to go the NFL uh no you that guy you knew you knew when you got to army did you know or in high school did you in high school I knew I was not going on

oh good for you yeah most guys I ran like a 5-740 oh my I'm not going anywhere. This is it. That's so slow. It's crazy how slow it is. What's average for someone that position? Now they run like four nines.

Now it's terrible. Like it used to be like a freak if you were like 300 and 4.9. Now there's four nines every year. And there's 320 pounds. So no one's running a fucking five. Yeah, they know they are. It's stupid. They even make them run 40 yards.

But there's there's a lot of your lateral motion too, the side to side motion that they throw a lineman. Yeah. the 510 5 yeah yeah the I ran like I went to this combine at West Virginia and ran easily the slowest 40 in the entire combine and I was just like I it's so amazing because you run they're all it's so amazing

because everyone know there's a whole group and they're like 577 like yelling at all yeah yeah and you're all fuck there was a slow twitch muscle over here it was so slow did you have to do the 225 yeah you've got 225 that's stupid for lineman too. Yeah. They should be doing 315.

Yeah. Would you get a lot? I did. I forget. You know, you really can't work on speed though. It's one of those things

you rather have or you don't. You can get better. No, there's techniques. There's techniques, but I'm saying, but you either have, you rather have the explosion

or you don't do ultimately. I mean, you're not, it's not, you're not going to be a 5-7 and then all of a sudden you're a fast runner. Yeah. It's like, you rather.

5-7 might have been pushing 5-9. I saw it with Mike's six flat. Six flat. Yeah. Kill us. Six flat.

It was going to get the showers, buddy. There was a, there was a kid from, there was a West Virginia player because the players from West Virginia were like helping. I think it was like scout.com or something. And the dude who timed me was like, damn. I heard him time it. He was like, damn. What's like, those times are tough.

Don't tell me. Don't know that. Keep that between us. What's like, Chappelle was like, I ran a four three in high school. Oh, I'm like, I go. No, you did. Anybody who's been around the game, I go, Chappelle, your coach told you that. And I don't think you're a liar, but I promise you, you did.

Everybody gets hand-timed and they're like, oh, I ran a five-five, or four-five in high school. He's like, you ran a fourth time. I'm like, I love you. But the coach who told you that, doesn't know what he's doing and lied to you. But in your head, you thought you ran a four-three. Have you seen a four-three? It was like the talk of the time. Is that talking to town or whatever?

It was crazy. What happened? I forget what it was. I might have set records at this camp. It's the worst combine of all time. You have children. You hope against hope that maybe your kids are going to be, I don't know, something physically special, right? Yeah.

Now I'm me. Because you have boys. I got boys. And so I'm in Utah and there is an Olympic gold medal swimmer, sprinter. I can't remember her name. She's pretty well known. She's a swimmer. She does a lot of the announcing.

Don't do this. I know. Oh, she does a lot of them. Not current. She sucks a lot of things. No, no. And her husband was a world. Champion Hall of Fame downhill skier, right?

Both of them are just a couple of like, you see them and you go, well, you look different, right? Yeah. So my kids, I was it. But they're skiers. I agree. A little gay. Hold on, gold medalist. Gold medalist.

I know, but still, you know. Still a very good athlete, right? Skiing member is a world sport. So he is, you know, he's still winning. You can win Goldman Badman. Or a lot of gold medals. I would suggest that downhill skiing is a real sport. Of course.

You gotta be special. I mean, he's still, I looked at his body. And I remember, he's not lying for a skier for sure. Yeah, but he's just all legs and ass and just muscular as fuck. And I'm like, he was like a like a downhill like that they're big. They're always strong. Either way, I fucking, uh, I play tag with my, I'm it and it's my kids and and their kids. And they're the same age.

Same age. Dude, the difference in. The count's got lit up. The difference in speech. The counts got lit up. It was astonishing. I had to run as fast as I could And this kid was eight

It was astonishing how fast they were It's like when I ran sprints I've done it twice against NFL These NFL guys at Tark trains Yeah Don't do that but yeah No don't do that You were running sprints against them?

I have on video Where do you do that for? I look like I'm standing still You just trying You want to see You want to see Pro versus Joe's I want to see how fast I am

I've done it many times I'll tell you what's weird You don't have kids right Shane No You have a girl? I do All right Yeah.

So you're working that way. Yeah. But it's weird when you have kids because Tiger's in Jitza, I take him twice a week now, and they're doing take. Now they're at the level because he's two-stripe now, two-stripe white belt. That's the level where they start in the feet and do takedowns. Oh, boy. So me and Tiger, like, I'll just go over certain, like, single leg and grip and stuff with,

and I don't give him too much where I'm like, dude, when he comes out, you grab the leg, run through. And, you know, I just kind of barely coach him on it. And then last week was the first time real-life takedowns. And dude, I don't know if it's something in his DNA or just, because it was in my DNA. Oh, yeah. The double leg that I did was my signature double leg. He takes this fucking eight-year-old and single legs and flares it out and double-legged them into the goddamn mat. Coach is like, Jesus Christ.

And they looked at me like, dude. I was like, I did not show him that man. Well, it's your chance in his DNA. I don't know if it's just, he just downloaded the data. The kid looks like he does neck exercises. Like he's got high calves. He's got a neck when he was four years old. like a sting rate. When he was four years, we used to

go to this, our friend owns a parkour. Parkour gym. So Tiger would be four years old. And you'd watch this kid run. You'd watch him run. He would never get tired and he would just run. No way, it stinks. Oh, God. Trying to be backflips and all that shit. Those parkour guys are nuts. I'm like, how do you make money, dude?

Oh, my God. Those are athletes. Now those guys are athletes. let's do a flip on like they're off a bench I mean when that goes wrong that must fucking go wrong Oh yeah They said

One of that main guy That guy who's like famous did Where he jumped from the railing And landed It's so horrifying Like jumped What looks like 50 feet And lands on a small disc like that

And if you fall you're fucked Yeah You're like Scan the great Fucking Wall China and shit But they're up like a million feet And I was like Like the number one guy's like

You know Are you making a living to us? He's like oh yeah dude. And when I walked away, I talked to his manager. He's like, you know, he made him about 70 grand money. It's like a teacher sound. Like, what? You go work at Starbucks.

I know, right? Yeah, so 70. You're like, where's the money in there? Sponsors. Yeah, they're just an outlier. You want to play with your mortality when you're young? I mean, yeah, I guess. Some people just get out.

It's the juice. You're doing it for the juice, right? Yeah. No, some of those motherfuckers are a little bit older. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they have major competitions, you know.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, competitions for that? My kids had won the competition in Italy or something like that. Sure. She had legs like, you know. You know, it was like 12 of home. Jumping over rails and shit in Italy.

Yeah. Yeah, they show you the videos. You're like, yeah, no, you're flipping over buildings. It is. I mean, obviously it's impressive. It's like your spider. It is. I just have no, you know, it's just, I have no interest.

I'm like, why don't you do something with it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there are people that can climb. I think it's interesting when they just climb. The buildings? Yeah, well, the two walls will be here and they can just climb up 100 feet. They should just be thieves.

That's what I'm saying. Steal people's purses. It's probably where it came from. It would be like a real like Spider-Man or some shit. Like fight crime. That's probably where it really came from. They just saw Spider-Man was like, fuck it, I got it. It's very strange, man.

It's so weird. That's how I started doing backflue was fucking watching Power Rangers. Really? Yeah, I was just like, oh, fuck it, I got it. There's not so much Power Rangers. It does not hold up. No. Oh, I haven't watched it.

The Power Rangers doesn't hold up. Oh my God. It is so lame. They're all, yeah. Yeah, it's so late. But back in the day, that shit was tight. Yeah, it was late. It's funny to think of you put it on being like,

all right, let's see if this holds. I was trying to do some kid to it. Yeah. And I was like, oh, wow. You don't realize how gay power is. All kids stuff is.

And they do the morphing time. Yeah, kid's stuff is all, it's very gay. Yeah, but now kids are gay. All kids are gay. All kids are gay. They start off gay.

Yeah. What are you looking at? They're teaching schools now in L.A., yeah. Well, now kids have these crazy video games where they're playing each other virtually, so they, so my buddy walked by. I like you broke that news. Like it's something new.

No, but my buddy, they're playing each other online? And listen this, Shane, they're not even the same house. That's your fucking mind-blown, didn't. What? Our buddy, though, walk by his kid's room. He goes to take a piss. It's five in the morning.

Kid dropping an end bombs? He hears, he no no that's what happens on those games i was like the end i'm just like where's this come in there's some racism there's some racism oh my god major racism no but it's five of the morning he just hears his 12 year old going yeah dude and he goes you motherfucker you've been up all night he's been up all night playing with the thing and the fucking guns and all that stuff and he just doesn't go to sleep we used to me and my friend jamal used to play call of duty and one time we were playing it together jama's a white kid mal is african al he's african i'm al-a American.

Black. It's fucking black. There you go. Yeah, I gotta get one. You'll see that in 10 years. You're gonna see that in 10. Yeah, yeah. Black.

And this dude was just scream in the N-word. And it's just me and Jamal sitting there like. Isn't that weird? And then eventually I was like, this is great. I was like, does that like, bother you? And he's like, I knew you were going to say some gay shit. Like, did you get mad at me from me.

Like, does that affect you? Are you doing okay, Jamon? Yeah, yeah. Fuck you, man. Because it's like, what are you going to do about it? It's like your go-to-one. It's a black player, just like young kids drop it in. You're like, what the fuck?

You know, that's how we end racism. Even those big gamers, like they go, like the cancel culture, they'll go back to when they were young, and they'll find out they dropped the end bomb. Dude, Pewty Pie got one that was pretty rough. What? His was rough. He's like the biggest games. He's like the biggest games.

Pee-Pee. Is it Pity Pew? Pewty pie, I think. Yeah. I think it was Peter Piedel. Maybe I got the wrong guy. But there was, yeah, he hit a, like, he just called a guy the N-word, like, on his live stream. And then he was like, no, I'm sorry.

He's like, Swedish. He did that recently. Yeah, and he was like, you know what I mean, though. You know what I mean, no. Sponsor like, we're out. Yeah. Damn. Yeah.

And fucking ended his his gaming career. No, he's back. No, the game culture's like, ah, we forget. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We've all heard it. Yeah. He's Swedish, you know, or something.

Yeah. They get a pass. Yeah. I give them a pass. The Swedes are good. It's weird where gaming's going to go in like 10 years. It's virtual. All virtual.

They're already doing. Well, you put those fucking helmets on. I fucking was playing ping pong at this stupid fucking thing that my son has. And I'm in this house and, you know, my old house with the cement floors and stuff. And the ball gets, hits the net and it rolls. You went to pick it up? I went to fucking reach for it. And I fell over it.

It makes you wonder if we're actually living in a fucking hyper-simulated reality right now. I wonder. It's so weird, man. It's so fucking weird. Is New York locked down like, uh, listen, the media, the media makes L.A. seem like North Korea, but it's actually not too bad here. Is New York pretty locked out? Similar to here. Yeah.

Just not as bad. You guys suck where they're like, when we're in like the height of it. I was talking to Shulte about it. And he moved to Miami. He was like, yeah, they were like, yeah, you can eat outdoor. Outdoor dining's open. He's like, dude, it's fucking snowing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's like, who's gonna eat outside? Right. He's like, so they may seem like, oh, all good. Small business can stay open, can eat outside. He's like, nobody wants to fucking... You're talking about in New York. New York. Yeah.

They just built rooms. They built rooms and said it was outside. Yeah. Like, just because it was shitty. They were like shit. And then the seller and there's no comedy going down. That was, yeah, that was all closed. Now there is, right?

Now it's back. Yeah. Now it's fully. Now it's crazy. Crowled. Fully. You've got to be fully vexed out. To get in, yeah.

Yeah. And so you have to show that on your phone. Yeah, they have to show that. The people that, yeah. The fans do? Yes. But no ideas to vote? No.

Did you, when you were doing your special, did you, were you nervous? Did you find yourself kind of nervous about, do you feel like you have to dance around subjects or? You got to see a special. I did. I saw it. Yeah, there's no. Yeah, no. No, I don't think.

Yeah. I don't think so. Yeah. That's your brand, though. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I didn't feel that from you. I watched the special. I loved it, but I, you know.

Yeah. No, I don't, I don't think. Yeah. It is, it does kind of get annoying, like, when I, like, perform. I'm used to performing in New York. Like, during the week, I'm in New York. Yeah. So it's all liberal.

Yeah. And it's very fun to go on stage and be like, yo, Trump rules. Yeah. Just to have them all. Yeah. But then you go on the road, I'm like, yo, Trump rules. And the whole crowd's like, well, this isn't funny now. Now it's not funny.

This isn't a rally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With my stuff, now I'm trying to show the similarities and the differences, but I'm not drawing sides.

I'm trying to sort of the folly on both sides. But whenever I, like, I notice in my crowds when I make fun of, like, the liberals, and then I'm going to make fun of the conservatives. But they don't know you. That's kind of crazy. Our boy, David Lucas, who goes on before Chappelle and me, he literally comes down and goes, hey, am I the only one that misses Trump here? Yeah. Anywhere we go. Yeah.

Anywhere. Certain markets go crazy. Certain markets, I'm like, Uthbath. A rough night. Who got weird about it? Where were we at? Oklahoma. Yeah, which is weird.

Oklahoma, yeah. Some of those states, like I did Richmond, Virginia, and you would think, like, all right, these, but there's, there's, like, little pockets in red states that are very liberal. You know what I mean? I didn't think in Oklahoma. Because they're, like, ultra-liberal. Yeah, that's very true. It depends on where you go.

That's what's surprising. If it's more combative. Yeah. It's it they get defensive you know that makes sense like even he read he did in Austin and because you think Texas he didn't read take yeah yeah yeah but in Austin's Austin's little LA Austin's purple more blue you got when he did it there it was like it's it's like it's the same in Arizona there's like liberal pockets in like Arizona's fucking red but there's has it small pockets of you know well there's also like in schools all these

kids are being challenged with new narratives it's not how we grew up where you learn U.S. history, it's really tricky now for them to teach because what happens is, as a teacher, I just got into this yesterday, as a teacher, you're teaching elementary school. If you're going to teach U.S. history, the question becomes, if you start teaching from 1776 and not 1619, you will have students who go, wait, you know, and they can be white or whatever, they have their liberal point of view, and it becomes a debate, and it's really tricky for the teacher to have to deal with. So now the teacher teaches, if you teach about being a global citizen

and being racism. If you bring up the term anti-racist, it's supercharged versus not racist. And they're doing that in elementary school? Bro, I just was, yeah. I'm dealing with that in my elementary school. So it becomes a whole fucking thing, and it's a balancing action.

So what's in, Finn's in fifth grade? Yeah. So young people now, he's actually, I'm sorry, he's in fourth. Young people now are, I mean, are being educated. It's just different. And social media, is setting a different standard. They're just,

public shaming is a real thing, and it's keeping people, there's, people are, far away stare. But it's a very powerful thing, because with young people now, there's call out culture, and call in culture,

which is the idea of, I'll call you out in front of everybody, or I might call you in first for a private. This is happening in schools. So now some student says, you didn't recognize my identity or whatever it might be,

and you're being called in. So now that kid calls you in with the teacher and you've been called in. Now the next step is to be called out in front of everybody. So what happens is with me what? My name is fight. It's a lot to deal with. I'm like, yeah, you call me in.

We're going to fight. Correct. That's what we're going to do. Now if you do that. No, now you can't. You're out of school. You're out of school, but also it's a lot, it's a lot to deal with men because like how do you,

how do you navigate that? So what happens is kids are becoming, there's a puritanical, there is a new puritanism in a way because everybody is afraid. I got into it a little bit yesterday with this teacher. The way she was teaching. She was teaching. She was teaching.

White teacher? Yes. And she was teaching. She had a book on anti-racism. Anti-racism versus not being racist. For fourth grade. Yes. It's a very strong political point of view.

It's insane. And what was interesting was I was the only one to voice it. And I could tell some parents were... But holes got tight. Into it. Other parents got super tight. It would be so fun. And nobody wants to say that.

If they did that when me and my friends were in fourth grade. It'd be so funny. Of course. I mean, I remember, like, we had teachers, like,

telling us about gay people. And we were delighted. It was like, it was so fun to say gay. Yeah. We'd be like, what is gay? Yeah.

I mean, if we had a racism class? Yeah. Oh, dude. Well, that's kind of. Wait,

can I say? What are some words I'm not allowed to say? That's kind of what's happening. I have a word I want to. know if it's racist. That's what's happening now. With gender? Now you're talking about,

now you're describing somebody as being a straight, white, cisgender male. You have to, they have to explain it that way? So we've got so, so, so,

but the teachers are, bro. I don't want to get into this too much. Oh my God. I'll let them stay. I'm in it. Let them cook in that.

Yeah, I'm in it. Comes home with fucking lime green hair. Yeah. Just fucking. Well, there are two things that can happen. One is,

it becomes, it's hard for, the teacher. It's hard on the teacher because they're being pushed. They're being pulled on one and everybody's having an argument. So now how do we teach? Right. How do we teach? What is the standard? What's the truth? I'm all first teaching true American history. Okay. Not whitewashed. But these are kids. I don't know how to do it. But what you're saying, dude. Like my friend's kid, my, my, my, my, his, he goes, he goes, he goes, he's, he goes, he, he goes, look at him, look at him, look at him, look at him, look at him sitting there on that pedaling. His friend goes, his son goes, dad, joking around. goes, how dare you gender that butterfly?

Kids in fourth grade? Yeah, but they're all fucking around. Now they're making fun of it. Oh, yeah. If you start doing, if you start making it hush, hush, oh, kids are gonna run. Bro. Yeah, and also the kids aren't dumb.

Like my niece, like I was talking to her about it, and she's in like seventh or eighth grade, and she's like, yeah, there's like 10 bisexual kids. Yeah. It's like, dude, you're in seventh grade. And five kids who identify as trans. Yeah, they see who's, you know, if you were a kid,

you'd see like, I'm not saying they're weird for doing that, but like, you know, if a kid was like, I'm actually trans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just don't have friends. You're doing a move. This is a move. You're lost. Back in my day, you're called goth. Yeah. By the way, by the way, that is very true. That's the day you'd be called goth. Yeah. Marilyn Manson. But it's so good. But it's whatever you want to do. Yeah. Yeah. But that's all right. You know, fuck it. Kids are going to, they're going to navigate their individuality in one way or another. It's just a lot, man.

It's a lot. There is something about, there is a lot of talk in a lot of schools about capitalism being essentially inherently racist. That's insane. And you hear this all the time. That is the narrative on that side of the equation. So you got to know when people like cloak something

that they're teaching in, we're just trying to all get along. And you go, that's not what's going on. You're teaching a strong political agenda here. Yeah. give a bias. You got a bias. And you can't have that. And you're trying to change. They say capitalism is racist? It's a very common thing now in the anti-racist, far-left movement, you know, whatever it might be, that capitalism and the structures of even the Western institutions,

all of them are inherently biased towards one. It's essentially a white supremacy construct. Therefore, it favors only whites. And so that may, there may be a debate. There may be a conversation to be had there. Hell yeah. I love it. It's just when they start. Let me know when you're ready for the rogue, Big Doug. Yeah.

Perfect. Just one. Yeah. Dude. He's bullying. No, I'm not. This is not bullying. He's a nicotine.

This is friendship. This is friends. That's stronger, though? Same. Six milligrams. You just pull it from your pouch. Yeah. Oh, but maybe Rogue is a little better than you.

I think Rogue's, I've tried them off. Yeah. What flavor is? This is mango. It's nice. Isn't it nice? Yeah, it's nice. I got you, Doug.

Yeah. Better than the mint? I'm not going to say better. Not yet. It's too early. It's too early. Has anybody ever read mango? Like, this is disgusting, though.

Mango's fantastic. I don't like mango the fruit. Really? My girl, you did it. It makes it as fun. She put, like, salt all over in hot sauce. Yeah. What the fuck are you doing?

Well, that's why she's ruining it. Yeah. I've never been a mango, man. Why don't you add some liver to it? This is sucky. The mango itself is fucking delicious, man. so you're going to war with teachers I think it's time

I think that's the right move it's time to start speaking up and parent teacher conferences I will stake a flag on a hell nobody else wants to fucking defend but then you're the problem is then you're the crazy dad and then the then Fing gets bullied at school because they get the crazy dad

hey Bubba I'm sure I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of stuff we'll see what happens I'll keep you posted eventually you just pull him out of that fucking school if he gets too crazy yeah you got to ask you said what you're willing to fight for yeah It's kind of how you're just trying to change up shit. I just think at the end of the day, everybody has something they're willing to fight for.

And you define yourself that way. Most of us get to walk around, not having to worry about it. Problem with kids is kids make you draw some lines. Oh, big time. You know what I'm saying? But New York crowds are similar. And yours is fourth grade U.S. history. You're like, this is, you've got to believe in something.

Christopher Columbus ruled. I'm going to set it. God damn it. My kid's not showing up on Grisor Columbus Day. You guys don't celebrate the Cowans dude, though. You know Indians were bad? Did you know that? You know they were greats too?

No, that's not what I'm talking about. Should we get into JFK? What about MLK? Teachers like, oh. No, that's the thing, is you've got to be careful and you got to be fair, right? Of course. But it's fucking better to do your homework. Yeah.

You better come correct. You better come correct, you know. That's all. If you're going to take this fight, You better have done your homework and you better have read the people you're disagreeing with. Luckily I have. Did you kick ass in school? What do you mean?

Like good grades and shit? I did it all right. Yeah, I did fine. Oh, okay. Yeah. I liked history. I studied. You weren't like valedictorian.

No, but I got into West Point. Yeah, that's a good fucking school, man. Yeah, I did all right. I was history major too. Yeah. Yeah. History's fun. For us.

It's interesting. It's the best for us. You can drop us in any time You must have got good grades If you went to Louisville, right? I don't get no fucking good grades No? No, cheerlead.

I don't think Louisville's... Oh, wait, did you do cheerier? No, so like... Cheerleader with a journal? Yeah, I just... Fuck you, Shane. It's crazy. Dude, it's a cheerleader with an anger man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was telling him he's got to get back on the boots. Yeah, he can say that. I always say that. It's time. Stop pushing him. Yeah, he's like it's time. Chappelle, he said I want to see that.

Stay clean. He wants to see me punch people. No, he wants some good whiskey. I got some, I brought from Montana. No, I'm all right. Maybe after, yeah, yeah, yeah. Chappelle, you stick with me. I know, I'm going to stay, but no.

You'll smell it, though. For Louisville, I cheered out of junior college in Texas. Well, I got plastered and got kicked off pretty much where it wasn't allowed to, like, try out again and shit. And so Louisville had, and I wasn't finished with junior college, but Louisville had a program to where you could go to the junior college it was like a transfer program

but you could go to the junior college and cheer at the university you're like the Trell Owens of cheerily yeah you're cancer in the locker room oh bro, I was a fucking dude I watched the booze house did you watch that Netflix cheer show? Yeah yeah yeah fantastic yeah fantastic

I love that the school that they talk about how much did you love Jerry? I loved all I liked all the ladies and they were ridiculous they were so fantastic so hot and they remember it was crazy

When they were celebrating at the end of the ocean, I was like, I wish I was in there. When they wanted it. When I was on the beach, I would have run out with him. And there's that one, there's that one, the swords. He was this guy. He did the shorts of the polo. He did it. Who is this dude?

A lot of black stock and a white too. Yeah. I think he works for Notre Dame. Yeah. I knew we were going to do it. Yeah. Yeah. There was that one die piece with the crazy parents.

And she was like the, the, the best one. remember? Oh yeah. She's like growing her ankle. She's pretty good. She's really good. She's good. She's big on social media.

Yeah. And it was her. And then Jerry was the one who was like on Ellen and hosting. Yeah. He was doing the Oscar red carpet. Dude, and then people- I followed a bunch of those girls on Instagram.

I saw that because I saw them. I saw what am I doing, dude? They're so hot. He said, they're so hot. So like, I don't know what I thought.

Nothing was going to come out of it. They weren't going to be like, oh, who's this? Who's a funny guy? It's just a short of the ball off. If you ladies want to come to a show, you let me know. That's so funny.

I liked those fucking pictures. I got so. I saw it. I was like, why Shane? It's so crazy. I got really into it too. And then what was the other one with the football team did it too? Oh yeah.

It's like the same. Last chance. Yeah. Last chance. It's so good. Dude, those teams, I've watched it. I've watched every year. I just rewatched season one.

They're fucking hilarious. It's the best. You played football. Yeah. No team on earth. act like this. Every team, dude,

it's on her. If the other team scores first, the whole team explodes. Their attitudes were awful. The coaches were fucking insane. Yeah. Well,

I watched two of them. I didn't see, I don't think, I don't think one player actually lasted in a D1 program. Am I wrong? No, no, they do.

It's a monster. It's a powerhouse for that. Yeah. Yeah. But I, you didn't make the NFL? They went on to play big time ball. They did?

Oh, yeah. NFL? Yeah, yeah. No, I'm saying college. I think like Lagerriban. Florida State. I said the guys I followed that I got emotionally invested in. Just fucking...

They quit at the end. Dude, how long, like that de-tackle, they'd be like, dude, all you got to do is go this class tomorrow. And you're going to get a full ride to Florida steak. And then be like, next day, and show a picture of an empty seat. You're like, fuck. I know. How do you not get your shit to happen? Like, wake up.

It was so frustrating. Because it'll be like that. Like, they'll show somebody fucking up like that. You're like, this fucking idiot. And then they're like, here's his backstory. You're like, sorry I called that guy in Asia. His like mom shot his dad or something. Oh, it's all really, really.

Oh, so this was about a high school. No, this is Juco. Juco. First one is East Mississippi. You know that coach got canceled because he, of course. Punched a ref in the first season. Yeah, he punched a ref during a game. He got canceled because there was a German kid on the team and the German kid outed his DMs because he DMs because he DM the kid.

This guy's a fucking idiot. Great, but an idiot. He DM the kid goes, I'm your Hitler. He's going to do what I say, I'm your Hitler. He's a German kid. No. Yeah.

No, these coaches are the funnies. Did he get fired for that? He got fired. It's a clumsy, it's a clumsy analogy. Then he came out with slap dick. Have you heard? I love this guy. Jason Brown, I think it is.

See, he'll have him on the show. That's the guy from Compton. Yes, the white guy from Compton. So he came out of this whiskey called Slap Dick Whiskey. And then something happened. He was bragging about selling like whatever, like 60 bucks. bottles or something like that. And then he said some derogatory term.

Like someone was, like, he was telling this, like, store to buy his whiskey. And they're like, we're good. And he's like, you fucking to drop some crazy language. What? And so everyone just dropped them. Like, his whiskey got canceled. But he was, he was entertaining. He seemed happy with his life.

Like, he was in Independence, Kansas. And he would, like, the camera would come back. He had like a hot tub. Uh-huh. And he would just sit there and smoke a cigar and his hot tub. I'm the fucking man. I'm the fucking man. Yeah.

That guy was great. I remember that guy. Before games. What's his name, Brendan? Jason Brown. Yeah, he would give like pep talks to his team be like, yo,

I'm from Compton. And all his players were like, what the fuck are you talking about? Oh, this is the dude? Yeah, yeah, he rules. He rules. That's him. And he played ball.

He was good. I think when he was high school ball player, I think. He was big motherfucker. Yeah, he's big. Yeah, yeah. I think he played quarterback? Yeah, he played quarterback. In an all black school.

Yeah, he was so passionate and funny, man. Does he have a career now? Was he, was he, did he act like he was hood? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. The way he would talk to the kids. Yeah.

He was crazy. He had a swagger to him. Yeah. But like, you know, I'm not like, well, he talked like a black guy from the 90s. Yeah. Oh, okay. So it was a little like, it was kind of suss.

Yeah. This whole team was like. Yeah, they really didn't relate to it. It was like awkward as fun. Yeah. Just the old lingo. Yeah. He was like coming in with like Fubu jerseys and shit.

No. He was wild. Yeah, he's wild. And he guys fuck him up heavy. Like, he was a good coach, but he was just like very loosey-goosey. Yeah, they're all. Too loosey-goosey. For like, those kids, you need discipline so they can move on.

Oh, got to go, got to. But those kids, I would see. Like, man, you ain't bawling out. Yeah. You ain't bawling out. You ain't balling out. You're off the team. You just kick guys off the team. And they're back on.

The next day, like, you're back on. No consistency. It was crazy. Yeah. But it was, for TV, it was fantastic. My favorite one was, I think it was independence where they were, like they were playing like a southern Iowa

some Juko from Iowa and they're like we're gonna fucking kill these white dudes just 50 white dudes show up and just bound it down their throat just power eye just fucking yeah but they were all like throwing their helmets they're like fuck this shit it was just white guys that white coach like you know what these white boys

do this dude no you're white you're white dude we can't stop the run dude they're bound in the ball what the fuck yeah they're like discipline I got to watch this season. Better plays, more strategies. Disciplined white dudes. Their season is tough.

Not over athletic. From Iowa. Just fucking ready. But then there's one time, one of the game is like their second, yeah, I think it's the second game of the season. They just straight up clear the bench in a fist fight. Yeah. With the other team and they get suspended for like four games.

But that's what you missed the point of? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's fantastic. I got to watch this one. You're dealing with self-destructive behavior. Like that's like that self-sabotaged. That's all they are. Yeah, it's because they all, like, you realize.

But so are the coaches. That's why the coaches are there. Yeah, you realize that everybody hates themselves to a degree that they're going to fuck it up. Like, you realize that like Jason Brown, any of those guys, there's so much self-loathing that you can get them right to the fucking edge and you go, oh, you got to just jump, bro, and just sprout wings. Just jump. All you got to do is to jump. And they'll just be like, eh, and they'll fall over because they just don't believe they should. And then the, like, kind of the secret sauce of the show was the lady who would help the kids in class.

She was like so good. I just got a fight with my friend about this. What? I thought she was flirting with those kids a little. Oh, she definitely said something. And my friend was like, no. Oh,

100%. She loves them. No, no, no, dude, look how they're behaving. Yeah.

Like if I was dating that lady and then saw that show when it came out, I'd be like, what the fuck? About that big D tackle? Did you jack him off? No, I don't,

I don't agree. I think she was long suffering and loved them. I think she loved them. I'm just saying from my own insecurity, like if she was posting pictures with like D1 I'm actually shade on this. She was hot? Yeah, she was hot.

She was cool. She was all too into the kids. You feel me? She had braces. Some of the relationships with the kids. Is that her? Yeah. I don't mean to.

I thought you were talking about the black woman. No, this lady. Oh, okay. The teacher. Okay. Yeah, let's see. Oh. She's like a podcast.

Oh. Look at her. And then I go back to that one. That one. Right there. Bottom. I might be on your team here. What you think?

What are you thinking? What are you think right? What are you think right? You know what? You're a real. When you come in the room, too, she's like, you are about it? A real Donald Sterling. First of all, she's pretty sexy.

What'd you say? I said, I'm a real Donald Sterling about this. I'm like, you can hang out with them. Just don't take pictures with them, all right? Have you ever listened? Those recordings are insane. You have to take pictures of them? They have the big dicks.

The big dicks in your face. I mean, she's kind of sexy. Look at that. Look at that. She's sexy. Yeah. She's kind of hot. Now, it's a real shame if she does just do this for, you know, I think she does

obviously love. I think she loves them. I also think she likes Big Dick. There's also, there's a chance. You can have both. Oh, good. I hope so. Me too.

She's gorgeous. And maybe she harnessed her love for Big Dick for good. Yeah. By helping these. Yeah. Either way. And these kids will listen to her and shit. She would like, if they were going to miss a class and if they miss one more, they get kicked out of school.

Yeah. She'd go to their dorm, which was like the worst living conditions ever. She'd go to their dorms and, like, knock on their door and get them to class. Really? She had the toughest job in the world. She's, yeah, she's an angel. She's an angel, okay. But if I was those dudes, I'd be whacking off to her constantly.

Is that her doing that with her leg up there? No. No, that's not her. That would have been a red flag. That is not her. I don't know. Hold on, let me say. She was her own book out.

No. She was great, though. Then the newest season is that. Look at that picture. She was really the only one that cared. Yeah, everyone else was just Like the coach To the left

Fuck him Get him off the team She was the one person That was like She's kids need help This one? Yeah Look at that

It's nice That's a nice picture Man Yeah It's nice She looks like I don't think she was Hooked up with him

Not that I think about it You don't think one You don't think one slipped through You haven't seen it You gotta watch it With this D tackle Even I told my grandma I know

She's fucking him Like she's too handsy Yeah She's like You got that D man And he's like, oh, thank you. You got that deep.

Even he's on come from from from the camera. He's like, yeah, yeah, thank you. Okay. He's like, hey, all right, man. Yeah, right, damn, bitch. That's fucking hilarious. She's, like, sitting on their laughs and stuff. She does?

Oh, yeah. It's... All right, then, yeah. I think that might be a lie. No, I'm telling you. That part might be... There's video on there for sitting on their lap. That's probably made up.

She can't sit on their lap. I don't know. I don't recall. Hold on. I'm telling you, they say, I don't know, usually I'm saying... She sits on her lap. I'm almost positive she sat on the left. I don't think that's true.

I haven't seen it about a year. Yeah, I think you're getting it. He Googles it. You got a little, you know the closest to it. That's the closest. I like your attitude. I like your attitude. I like what you're saying, but that's not true.

That's okay. We'll see. She sits on their lap. We'll see. I was trying to prove my point. I'll see. I'll watch it. I'll get the first of low.

And then the newest season is West L.A. College. It's nowhere there is good. It's basketball. The basketball one? It's nowhere near. Because the chance of. Because the chance of any of them going anywhere basketball is going to start.

Yeah. Yeah. And the poor coach, man. He's like, he's like, he has like six kids. He's awesome. He does it. Like, you know. Yeah.

He gets fired up. He's, he's, he's, runs around. He doesn't swear. Yeah. He's the best. Of the coaches.

By far the best. He's probably the best. And then there was a guy out of here. He got offered a job with the, uh, with USC and the Lakers and turned it down. Really? He's like, I'm trying to give back to the kid. Yeah, that guy's like, fuck. Yeah.

But buddy, the big fat guy in season one. he's a dick and then the guy from Compton those two are just out dude they

if their team is losing they explode they're down like 7-0 at the beginning of game and they'll be like

fuck it get the fuck out like just spazzing coordinators if someone throws the interception it's just like

game over yeah the whole even they're up 14 they throw interception it's like they have no

mental and all these players don't want to be there because they're all just like it's in the middle of Kansas

It's like a nightmare. And some kid, like, there was a big shot that was that Florida State, like a five-star recruit. Yeah. Didn't work out for him. Sock the lady in the face. What? Yeah, they're wild. What?

I will say this. Yeah, I'm not going to defend him. Just watch the tape. Yeah, let's just watch the tape. Every story has two sides. It's all I'm going to say. She did? Wait, there's a tape of it out there?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. What did she do? It looked to me like she did try to hit him or swung at him. Yeah. They're like, I'm not. saying he should punch a lady in the face. That's fucking outrageous.

This is at Florida State. It was like I kicked out and had to go to Independence. He had to go to Kansas. Wait, did she follow him? No, they're at a bar. They're at a bar. He's like a freshman. They bump into each other at the bar.

And she like nudges him out of the way to get in the spot of the bar. And he's like, what are you doing? And I think she kind of swings at him. And then he just, it's not good. He reacted. Very bad. Very bad. You don't hit women.

Yeah, but Florida State was like, we can't have it, man. Yeah. Damn, so that's why he had to go to the, with the Compton coach. Yeah, and then he's like real cock when he gets there. Oh, yeah. It's like throwing bombs. My friend. My friend doesn't work out.

Yeah. I don't think he cared. I don't think he wanted. And the coach was like, giving him a play. Like, nah, fuck that. Yeah, he's like, you don't know anything. Oh, for real? The kid was like, I went to Florida State.

You're a chief. No. And his dad was like, I think of NFL too, so he thought he knew more than the coaches. It was like the perfect shit storm. But it's must see TV. Yeah, it's the best. I got to watch this season. You can't hit.

Oh, it's so far. Of course you can't hit. Well, my buddy's at a bar and he's dating a girl. They have a fight. They kind of break up. They're not dating that, you know. And she goes, just right there at the bar. She's leaving?

Nope. They're talking. You know he is. She goes, whack. Open hand. Wack. So she comes this way, comes back. And then goes to smack him again.

So he goes, boom, really hard, knuckles. And as the button thing coming, he just goes like that, he goes, hey. And hits her like that. And she goes, huh, like that. And the bartender goes, hey, like that. And the bartender grudge comes over and you got to get out of here. And my buddy goes, my buddy goes, she just paintbrushed me. She fucking.

And she was coming back for a shot. And he goes, I saw everything. I saw the whole fucking thing, dude. I'm going to witness. I still got to get you. Yeah. So they both had to leave. But that was it.

She fucking whack, whack. He just gave her one. He's like, you're not coming back a third time. I give you two. Yeah. I mean, how many times do I have to until I got to defend myself? I mean, you might want to. That's the move, though.

You got to just. Yeah, he said he goes to take quarterback. He doesn't hit. He like straight of. He took some notes. Oh, he threw a straight. Oh, he did a puncher? Yeah, straight.

Straight. Yeah, that's a problem. I got to say. Bartenders have a weird arrogance, don't they? I don't like them. I don't like him either. I don't like, but hipster bartenders. They have this weird arrogance.

It's like, bitch, you don't own the bar. Yeah. My fucking drink. But they can. They do have you by the balls a little bit because if it's crowded. You just want to get a drink for you and your girl. Yeah. And now you got to, wait.

You know. Yeah. They see if you raise your hand, which is, I guess, a dick move. You go like, well, if you're not paying attention, unless you're a hot chick with big tit, they don't pay attention. So you're like, yo, dude. And then I always go, what whiskey's you have? They're like, what they can't?

I'm like, all right. Fuck you, man. How about that? Right. Yeah, you don't own the place. I ask for Bud Light. I go to cities and I'm like, if I'm in a cool bar,

I'm like, you guys have any Bud Light? They get mad. Yeah, they kind of, they're like, we have a Pilsner. They have, oh, because they have their,

they never have them, their beers, yeah. It's very rare. I'm the guy who asks for a Pilsner, and if they say Corona or Stella, I go, it's okay. I want, I want the desired Pilsen.

And I'm almost that way with whiskey. Now, now I've got to, you have any Japanese whiskey? You have any Japanese whiskey? You have Buffalo trays? Most of them have Buffalo. trace that's usually the go you have cauliflower ears though i i tend to be true that's a real like i'm not gonna disagree with you what you mean cauliflower ears yeah i'm not gonna bother you yeah no no and they also

he's a giant yeah i'm sure i just ask for wild turkey straight out everywhere has that yeah and then you go scream and cry and why didn't this journal everyone was mean my childhood my child oh that's great why do you have a fucking journal Hey kiddos. A lot of you all got them crazy student loans. And with today's low interest rates, it's a great time to refinance your student loans with Ernest. Ernest offers low rate student loan refinancing and you can check your rate risk free in just two freaking minutes. With Ernest, you get flexible payments. You can pick your loan term. All right. By refinancing, you can reduce your loan term, save money, combine multiple loans. It is one simple monthly payment. If you have any questions,

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Once again, $100 cash bonus when you visit Ernest.com slash fighter to refinance your student loan, not available in all states, term conditions apply. I'm telling you on the road every morning, you know, because I wake up really and I can't sleep in so I'll wake up. No matter what, six and morning I go down and make coffee where we're at in the Airbnb, whatever city. He's up before me just, tonight Brendan.

I bet it's really nice. Yeah, it's just all nice. Man. Or is there some aggressive stuff? Yeah. It's just, I mean, I put everything in there, my fucking crazy thoughts, my happiness, shit, whatever. Is it very, very, he's the motion. Yeah, and keep that. It's a beautiful thing. Oh, yeah, never changed. You were like, you're just

so quiet sometimes. I'm like, because I let everything out in the fucking down. Is there any, is there any death threats on me in that journal is like, no, you'll fuck, Brendan. I just gotta get this out. You're wonderfully unique. I don't know what that means. It's the most unique guy, I know.

That's a good thing. It means you're an original. It means that you marched your own drum and you haven't been as influenced by the things that could have molded you. You know what you are? You're really hard to find. Yeah, I mean, good luck.

Like, you could do your material in front of anybody. Nobody can steal it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So you. Oh, yeah. A fucking male cheerleader who grew up adopted by a white family.

Who likes Counting Crows? Love Counting Crows. Yeah. I mean, Adam Derwitz. Pretty good. Fucking, what a great song. You know him? You know him?

Very well. Are you serious? I spent, like, uh... I made fun of Brian for... I was just with him in France. Two weeks because of it. I was just with him in England. I spent a week with him.

Yeah. Fucking amazing. And, you know, it's pretty wild. He's a hell of a guy, man. Well, tell him I said hi. I will. What? Is that weird?

In fact, he just. He's gonna be like, you're okay? Yeah. Yeah, he just text me. Is he still making music? Oh, yeah, dude. His song, I mean, some of the greatest songwriter. So he writes at my buddy's Joey's farm.

He goes up there and just writes alone. Oh, really? Does he still have dreads? No. No, he shaved his name. He was on, he was on Rogan out too long ago. Yeah. Well, that's right.

Yeah. He talked about a disorder that he has. He's a great dude. What is that disorder? Threats? No. Depression or whatever. I don't.

Some would fucking multiple people. Oh, is schizophrenic? No. I don't. I don't think so. Multiple personality. Oh, bipolar? Bipolar.

Was it bipolar? I don't know. But either way, he's a great dude, man. Yeah, that's amazing. He's such a good guy, and he's so fucking talented. What's his name again? Adam Juerrex. It'd be autism if he's counting crows.

Ooh. I'll take that. Like rain, man. Yeah, he's great, man. It's good stuff. No, but, yeah, I journal because... Yeah, he is white. He's Jewish.

White treads? Yeah, I think he's... You got rid of this. He got rid of this. He got rid of this. He could... He had him. He had him for a while.

He was going strong with those. He can, he's a, he can. Hey, so he suffers from dissociative mental health disorder. What the fuck is that? That's what I, yeah.

You wouldn't know, if you know him, it's like he's just funny as shit and great and really cool. Brian, you know disorders. You know what that is? You know, if you go.

I know him and I've never seen any, you never, like that goes to that. It's just, mental disorders that involve experience of disconnection, lack of continuity between thoughts, memories,

surroundings, the actions. Sounds like you have to finish a lot of songs. You know what you can't come back. it. Yeah. That's all that is. Yeah, I don't know what that is.

In the middle of the songs. What the hell am I doing? No puzzles for that game. You feel me? Nowadays, by the way, you know, mental disorders are big business. I mean, your kid has anything and you can send them the five different experts. If you have the money, if you want, you could surround your child with 15 different people. Yeah, you can really fuck you.

What do you mean? Yeah, money can really fuck your kid up because they'll label us. And the schools have all the specialists. Like, why don't you go to A& in Santa Monica? In Malibu? In those places where there's that much money? Just pop and Adderall on kids. Oh, dude.

But it's also like, we're doing that? Are they still doing that? Oh, yeah. Crushing kids with Aderol? And like, I know there's disorders out there. I get all that. But when we were kids, it's like, he's fucking, you know, sad. Get out of it, dude.

Well, it's also that they. His eyeliner. They've pathologized. Eyeliner and Jinkos. Get over, dude. But they've also pathologized, uh, uh, uh, a grailogized, uh, uh, aggression and natural rambunctious boy stuff so boys boys relate to each other and they roughhout a lot of boys just roughhouse they're running

to each other boys are boys boys yeah boys are boys are boys that is considered a pathology a lot of times that's that LA school shit I know bro not where I'm at I know man you got to get out of there I get you norm had a kid would be fucked oh he's a you know he's a lot of boys need that on his last special no McDonald yeah yeah he passed away huh yeah I didn't know he's doing with cancer no No one did. I remember last time I saw him, I was like, God, he looks like he just, he just aged well.

And he was talking to me literally for 30 minutes about gambling. And I was like, yeah, no doubt. I'm not even, you know, I gamble, but fuck, dude. He's really a decade, dude. This isn't round. He's doing for, oh, shit. Nine years, right? He didn't want people to feel sorry for him, so he didn't, he didn't tell anybody.

He's the best. Legend. Were you hung out with him at the comedy story? Yeah. That's where we were talking about gambling all the time. Yeah, he loved to gamble. He was such a talent, dude. Yeah.

Yeah, he was one of the first comics I saw, though. It was like, face hurt the whole show. Yeah. He came out, he did a show at Helium in Philly, and he was like, ah, I wish I would have had that ham sandwich earlier. Anyway, didn't stand up, and then throughout the set, he'd be like, ah, could have had that hand. Occasionally during his set. It was incredible. Artie Lang told me a story about him where he said, you get to call.

This is like 98 or something, you know. And he goes, hey, what are you doing? All right, he goes, I'm going to come over and show you something. And so, Ardice's like, all right. So he just comes over and he goes, you want to see what a $100,000 in cash looks like? Right there. And he goes, what are you going to do with that? He goes, I'm going to give it to my bookie because I lost it back.

That's how that's good. They said he would get his money from Saturday Live and drive straight to Lenox. Shit. He's the best. Yeah, the best. Man, that one, yeah, that made me sad. That was the first, that was the first, that was the first, that was the first, uh, Celebrity Death that made you sad.

Made you sad? I mean, I talked to him. Kobe didn't? He's from Philly. Kobe was made it was weird for me. I just remember being like, oh, shit, Kobe did. It was not like, I wasn't like... Really?

Were you not a Kobe fan? I liked, I respected him. I liked, I was a big Shaq guy. Oh, okay. There's two teams. Yeah, you know, Shaq guy or Kobe guy. You're a Shaq Diesel fan. I love Diesel, dude.

He's such a freak? That's another, that's another combo. Like, everybody would have thought, Artie would have died before Norm. You would have guessed Shaq would have gone before Kobe. Jack's like a fucking St. Bernard. He's like seven, six? He's going to die like 500.

Soon. That's not the best thing to say. You know what I mean? He's a huge fucking man. And he eats tons of Papa John's pizza. He's funny. He said he says his foot size 20? 22 or something like that.

It's crazy. He was a monster. And have you ever see him in Blue Chips, that movie with Nick Nolty? Yeah. You see what kind of an athlete is? He was skinny. Try to bring up. Well, dude, it's skinny, but, like, dunking and moving, like, where you're like...

Oh, dude. That movie took you to realize that he was an athlete? Well, because he was so big to see how athletic he was at that size. Blue Chip? With Nick Nolty? Yeah. He's never saw him play at LSU? Watch him, Duncan.

He's a freak. Are his kids pretty beast? Look at him there. Yeah, one place for you silly. He had to have open heart surgery. Oh, yeah. He's a freak, though, yeah. Penny Hardaway was in that.

Yeah, that movie's awesome. No, Shaq was such a fucking freak thing. There's nobody like him. He was unstoppable, dude. Unstoppable. That was the team, dude. The magic team? When I was a kid, that was the coolest team ever.

Penn. That was my favorite team. Yeah, that was awesome. When we were growing up, so it was Penny, Darren Scott, they called him 3D. There's the white boy who I loved. Wasn't Nick Adverson. Yeah, Scott Skiles, Scott Skiles. He turned into a coach.

But Shaq was a fuck, dude, we could run the court. he's seven foot tall, dunk, beast, dude. I didn't, see, I didn't watch college basketball and I'm watching that movie

and watch blue chips. This guy's jumping. This guy's getting worse here. This guy's got something. Oh my God. You know, I realized Michael Jordan was good

when I saw Space Station. But I was watching without anybody in front of him so you watch him and I'm like, Jesus. It's a movie though, you got to watch him

play some fucking ball. I know. How about when I was, did you collect cards as a kid? Yeah. When I was a kid, I got this, I forget what,

company it was but I bought the pack of cards and it was Shaq's rookie year. Remember Shaq I think was number two and Christian Leitner was number one and those were like the cards like everyone's trying and get these cards and our mom didn't have a lot of money and she's like are you guys can get a pack each and so I was young dude was at 90 so I was seven or eight and I remember open the pack you know you're going through like come on come on boom Christian Leitner which was like the number one card to have right behind that Shaquille O'Neal and my brother had anger manager issues like you didn't get anything so he beat me up.

And then later that night, this kind of brother I was later that night, I was like, you can have one, pick one. I'll keep one, you keep one. Wow. Who do you take?

Shack, because he's smart. Good pick. I was like, good luck with that. I'll take Christian or late at loser. Is that the dude that hated at Duke? Yeah.

Yeah, great player in college. Decent and NBA just got a bad rap. Oh, got it. Yeah. People just hated him. People hate Duke players.

Because he was just good. He had this arrogance about him. Like he was a dickhead. Yeah. He's a bit of an ass. Yeah. he talks about it he looks like that

there's a great 30 for 30 oh he looked like dudes in the NBA you're like fuck this guy yeah but you look back on his career

who wasn't bad did they hate redick yeah jj reddick at first yeah but in the NBA he's kind of like he's solid

he's solid yeah oh wait that one kid Grayson Alan is he from dude yes okay who was that kid who was that guy

there was this show where they were talking about he was kind of not a good NBA player white dude he was not good I mean he was that they were always

talking about it but he played for like nine, ten years or whatever and they're all talking about how much he sucked and he goes here's the thing I do suck but not compared to you Oh and then he called out Scalabrini The Redhead?

Whoever was he called out all the Oh that kid calling him out Those he called out the D1 Do you see him play one-on players He was shit all over him Smoking D1 players Do whatever he wanted Like real players

It happened in fighting too Like because of the celebrity boxing and you know Logan Paul stuff where average Joe's are like That guy's not that fucking tough Like a real fighter Like machine gun Kelly with Connor

It's like dude you have any idea what would happen So you didn't see him Yeah they almost got like a fighter Or not five but argument Yeah he's like six five or whatever Like talented musician but it's like The lines are blurred but it's like with the NBA It's even more blurred like

Have you ever ever Seen an NBA player like in the gym Like playing regular pickup basketball? Yeah Like like Bert you remember Birdman Yeah Nick Anderson, was it Nick Anderson? I forget his name.

You got to play for the Nuggets? Yeah, I played for the Nuggets. I've hung out with him a couple of them. Me too. Yeah, he's awesome. Good buddy. Yeah. So when he was playing for Denver, he was like, oh, let's go play a pickup at Greenwood Athletic

Club, which was like my home club. So me and my brother grew up there. And I was like, I guess, I was talking to my brother. I'm like, I guess we just throw him like Ali Ups and shit? He's just going to dunk on everybody and we're going to dominate. Yeah. And my brother was like, yeah. So I'll stay, like, we had a whole plan.

I was like throwing balls and I'll like fucking dunk on everybody. It's gonna be lit as fuck. Dude, he was like, what? No, just give me the ball. He didn't miss a single shot. Like, he was shooting, like, Steph Curry, and you're like, oh, my God. Like, we didn't make it take it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody else touched the ball. He was literally just like, check. You're in the NBA. Swack. Yeah. Swack. I'm like, for sure, just dunk it, dude.

God. And then kids would try to, like, shoot over me, just like, what the fuck? And just, swat. I mean, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't want to fight Connor McGregor. machine gun Kelly I'd be a very bad

But the lines are blurred Was he trying to Was he getting up in his team was But they said it all came from A, it might be a publicity stunt But B I guess Connor DM'd His girl back in the day

And so I guess machine galley Because he wanted a picture And machine gun Kelly was like Can I get the fuck out of here And then Connor just went off Oh shit I can't believe somebody They made odds

They made odds already yeah That can't be real Those are actually real There's actual real There's odds There should be zero. I know exactly. That's where it should be.

It's just you don't, like everybody should play NBA player in a pickup game just to see where you fit in. Yeah. Yeah. Or just roll like, I got one. I know I know he can say, be like, oh, Connor's not a black belt. Very cool. Roll with Connor McGregor. Let me know how it goes for you.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. See what happened. I know he's not fucking Go Sanchez or Damien Ma'am. Just roll with him. Let me know how that's for you. Yeah.

And then you want to, then you want to fight the guy in, what, stand up? Yeah. It's nuts. Actually, this is another one. Go try, if you're a tough guy and you've done some fighting. You can say downhill skiing? Go try to hit. Yeah.

Yeah, will you put a compilation of downhill skiing accidents? I genuinely, I watch these. They're fucking wild. They get fogged up. Oh, yeah. Dude, they get so fucked up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

No, but I was saying, try just try touching, try hitting, putting your glove on a guy who can actually box who knows how to move out of the one. Yeah. But now you're talking about Conradger. literally one of the best striking artist we've ever seen in our entire lifetime. And Machine and Kelly you play your guitar and you have jewels

on your jaw. Listen, you're going to hit him? No, no. It's nuts. No, no. Bad idea. But who knows? Maybe Machine Gun Kelly was like, chilling. Just a psycho. It's like, fuck you, you, you piece. I should. Connor threw a beer at him. Machine Gunny Kelly does look like he's going

like this. Yeah. Yeah, it would be... But it's so different, like, Conner's getting wild. But it's so different, like, Philly crowds can be rough. Yeah. Like you're the funny guy at the family barbecue?

Very cool. Go do a Philly crowd on a Friday night when they've been working all day and drinking or go to Pittsburgh where it's blue collar and they've been drinking all day

and you got to get this fucking hour of time. Go do that. Yeah. Stand-up is the one thing that everyone thinks they can do. Oh, everybody that's like, I'm pretty funny.

Yeah. I might give it a shot. He used to say that about he and I went to a club one time and there were these alt comics and all due respect. There are some really funny old comics. but these guys were, it was when it first came, started coming out where they were doing like that esoteric stuff.

Yeah, real meta, kind of making fun-ups. Yeah, then they realized it can't sell. And Rogan was like this. Rogan was watching this guy, you know, Rogan, he's just like, this is fucking death. This is just dead. And so when he was younger, he was like, like, whatever you think is agro, double it. Like, he just did not give a fuck. Yeah, because now the weed chills him out.

Oh. But before that. Never smoked weed. Yeah. No, no, he was just. Before that, he was like, you're, like, you're. grandpa's CT. All go all the time.

He said that. He goes, you bring that shit to Philly. You bring that shit to Jersey to Boston, Pittsburgh where people work for a living. And they're like, I got to be in a factory at fucking six in the morning. Make me laugh, you fucking asshole. I spent money. What is this?

Yeah. What is this that you're doing here? Yeah. Yeah, that's how it starts, though, with stand-up. Everybody that, like, you think you're funny, I'll give it a shot. I mean, that's what I did. Yeah.

And I got up there and I blacked out. no it's sober you don't remember you're so terrified i was so bit and dude i was holding the mic was it just an open at my like belly button was there an open mic yeah it's just an open mic in philly in harrisburg you know who can get away with shit though you know who get away with shit like who would just do weird shit was uh nick uh squarison nick even when he was young super young like that's like you know the ham sandwich thing nick one time me and my uncle watching nick and nick is doing stand-up and it's not he's trying weird shit and it's at the comic strip in new york and this is like fucking two thousand or earlier or whatever and he's like he's like nothing it's not really working he's like hey guys

he goes i apologize i just i hate a lot of turkey um before this and turkey makes you super tired so i don't feel like i have any so he said it's on stage so he'd go so i'm washing this out fucking already dying and he'd tell another joke and it'd be like yeah and then people would have kind of laugh and he go fucking turkey eating turkey all the time and he kept doubling down By the end of it, I was fucking cry. That's like Theo, you know, at the store, wherever, when he opened for me in Nashville, he's like, I just don't feel fucking funny, man, I'm trying to new shit.

And he goes out there and he'll be like, yeah, my cousin got bid in L.A. He got bit, man. By gay guy. And he's like, yeah, he had, what do he say? Up on Fairfax or something like that. The Filipino guy with big quads, so we'll see. No, he just waiting. He was, we'll see.

Yeah, yeah, that's all you. Yeah. What's the fucking funny? It's so funny, man. So funny. He's so unique. Did you know Rogan at all before you did the pod? No, I just hung out with him that week leading up to it.

I was in Austin. Doing shows. At, uh... I recorded my special. In, uh, did you... Before I did Rogan. Would you record the special night? In Austin at the Creek in the Cape.

Oh, that's Creek in the Cape. Yeah, yeah. Have you done the Vulcan yet? I did. It's good. You got a slip-knock concert? Yeah, yeah. It's a little...

There's like metal in people standing. up. Have you done a Vulcan yet? It's good, though. It's good. It's good. It's good. If for, like, if you walked in there and saw that room, you'd be like, this is going to be a fucking disaster. It's a rock room. It's like a... It's like... It's made for... It's music. It's a music for like... So it's tall ceiling.

So it's like... Literally, that was my job. I was like, I was like, I feel like I'm in a fucking flip-knock concert. Like, there's like metal everywhere. That's tough. It's in... And then people are standing and there's couches. And then after we were performing, it turns in, like, a rave show like, goes on. Yeah, like, people are waiting to get in the door to

fucking do drugs and lick each other's ass. It's weird. Wow. Yeah. But yeah, they... It's a good club, though. They did make it good. Like, it shouldn't be good.

It shouldn't be good. It shouldn't work. So the Crick in the Cave is, uh, what is that? Is that a comedy club? Yeah, it was in New York. And they moved it to Austin. So now Austin's going to open Cap Cities. Rogan has a place.

The Crick in the Cave. There's a lot of venues now. Yeah. Also be a good hub. Oh, yeah. Did you ever think about moving during this whole COVID shit? No, I just moved to New York. And like,

I just got in at the cellar. So there's no reason to. I'm going to stay at the cellar. Yeah. The seller is really good. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's, dude, it's so good. I just did Buffalo with Doug David off. And the stand, by the way. Shout to the stand. Stands great, too. Yeah. Yeah. He's around.

It's great. And it's just like, it's hard to bomb. Did you get past? Did you get passed on the first try? I had a weird way of getting past because I auditioned like kind of before COVID. And then COVID happened. Well, I actually auditioned, like, before SNL a little bit. And then I got canceled.

And they're like, and then I got, and then COVID happened. So there was, like, really no window for me to even audition. And then they just called and were like, send us your avails. Kind of out of nowhere. You've probably talked about this before. Who called you to tell you you weren't on SNL? Lorne. And like a man, like a lady and then, Lauren.

Like a lady that represents that? Yeah, anytime you talk to Lauren, somebody would call and be like, Lord Michaels was on the line. Was he cool? I like, I like Lauren a lot. Yeah, I still do. Was it your, again, I'm sure you've talked about this.

It's fine. Was it your dream to do Saturday Life? Maybe in like seventh grade. But then once I started doing stand-up, I was like, this is, yeah. I knew, I figured I would never be on SNL, like ever, because I've seen it lately. And I know what I do. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, it's very. Do you think it's a blessing in disguise that all this happened? For sure. What else you're going to do, though? You know what I'm saying? Like, you could sulk on it and be like, of course. Yeah, what could you do? Should I quit?

But I got to be honest, it's one of the reasons I think a lot of people have rallied around because everyone's like, how the fuck? We've all said stupid shit. Yeah. You know? But there's also like, I think if I would have got us and all, I think I could have done very well on it. Agreed.

Yeah, I had a good career that way. 100%. And now that I got canceled from it or however you want to say it, I think that's, I think that is also a good opportunity. So I would say I would rather it have happened than not at all. You know what I mean?

Yeah. You know? Like if I just never got S&L and never got cancer. Either way, it put you on the mail. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Press. Yeah.

And I think, yeah, I'm all right. I'm comfortable having eyes on me with my, what I'm creating. Well, you're creating. Like, I'm not afraid to, I'm not worried about a spotlight on what I make. No, but also... If that makes sense.

No, it makes sense. If I sucked and got canceled, that would be a huge problem. Well, you wouldn't have a career. Yeah, that would be a major issue. But I think, too, it's like, you know, the fans that rallied around you and then they brought all this attention to you, those are the people that fuck with you. Like, those are actual fans instead of like... But they're not all Shane Gillis fans.

Sure. Now you're building a real fan base. There's a downside there. There's a downside. But you're also playing, like, when you go on the road now, you're playing home games. Sure. It's your fans. You can fuck around.

Like, you're special. You know, if you're just a silent live fan, you turn into, let's say you're on there and you turn into your special, like, Jesus Christ, she went hard on the paint. Yeah, yeah. Your fans are like, fuck, yeah. Yeah, that would have been part of pain. You know what I'm saying? But it was also, there is a downside of that, like, immediately when you get canceled,

there are a lot of people that you don't want. As a fan. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, I'd have guys coming up to me after shows and, like, screaming slurs. Yeah. I'd be like, hell yeah. Be like, I don't think you get it.

Yeah. Thank you. Can you take that shirt off? I think if you're going to do that, take my shirt off. Yeah, I think people rallied around you because most people are not comfortable and shouldn't be with the idea that you said something in passing in a certain context, like in a conversation. And your whole life should not be erased for that. Sure. Your opportunity, which is a huge one in SNL, which very few people get, shouldn't be taken away.

Yeah. And that is the world we live in now. And I think everyone would agree, including myself, that it wasn't great. what I said. But yeah, I think the punishment didn't really match the crime. And that's where everyone was like, all right, maybe chill. And I also think the other...

But I think that's the counter to cancel culture. It's like, all right, he said something you shouldn't have said, he lost his job? And I think most humans are like, no, that ain't right, man. And so they're tuned in to you now. Right. And the other thing that's really important to realize is that when you do cancel somebody,

when they do that to you, you're not making the world more equitable. You're actually not doing anything. It's not as though now you're making the world more fair and more equal. You're just kind of a form of destruction. Yeah, you're suppressing. You're making it worse. Yeah. I think the only real way to beat whatever this is, the cancel culture thing,

is to just keep going. Don't let it consume you. Like if I got canceled and then spent the next two years being like, fuck cancel culture. Can't do that. Fuck this. Then I'm not doing. Then I'm not doing. That's how you get canceled.

That's how you get canceled. I agree. You let the cancel. I think you released in the special was kind of like, yeah, definitely not cancel. You know what I'm saying? Although anybody could have put a YouTube special out. But that's the problem. That's about anybody can put.

But it having to do as yours. Being good and other people co-sign it and be like, hey, watch this fucking special man. That's the difference. And I think you put it on YouTube and then other comics in the space, everyone go, dude, this thing's fucking good. And I can send a link to my dad or to my brother. the group, I was like, here's the special. If it's on Netflix or it's on, you know, wherever, showtime, I can't send you a fucking link.

Yeah. Or if you can't clip it up and I can send you a clip, like in this day and age that we're in, like clips are what sell tickets. Like your hour, like we know for a fact, even on Netflix with Eddie Murphy or Joe Rogan, people stop watching it after 28 minutes. Yeah. 28. We're still 28 minutes. So we're still doing hours, which is whatever. But if you have a clip, I can send that.

And if you do, like I was talking to Chappelle on the way. I was like, just do, just put a youth. Like, if you have 45 or a half, you don't even have to do it an hour. Like, mine's like 48. You don't, it doesn't have to be an hour. You can put out 30 minutes. Like, I was thinking in a year, just put out another half hour or something. Yeah, I'm going to put out whatever you want.

I'm going to put out fucking 20 minutes. Yeah. You literally can do whatever you want. Yeah. The day and age of, you know, HBO and showtime being like, well, only these five guys get special this year. It's like, why are you waiting on this people? Yeah. Yeah.

Just put it out. If it's good, put it out. If you write faster, if you have a lot of to say, you can just put it out. Yeah, I don't. I got about four minutes right now. It's tough. I got so much time. I have four minutes.

That's the scariest thing. You got a hot floor. I was going to ask you that all right. I was like, oh, so you probably got another hour? No. Would you what do you call your special? It's just live in Austin. Yeah.

I couldn't. I couldn't. And it doesn't matter. Yeah. Everybody was like, you should name it something. I was like, I can't. Just live. I like the Drake, how you took the Drake.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I like that. Somebody made that. Somebody made that. That was solid promotion. I was drunk and retweeted it. Oh, okay. I would have never promoted.

Who shot it? I didn't promote it at all. My friend John McKeever and a guy, homeless pimp. I know. Oh, that's my guy. Yeah. I love homeless pimp. That's amazing.

Yeah, those guys. It was just friends. He said about homeless pimp. So homeless pimp is Chris D. He's on the road with him. He shoots everything and produces a podcast. And Chris, you know, he has his smoke show, wife and she's pregnant and she has a smokeshow friend and she's like you got to hook me up

with homeless pimp and chris's like oh you sure she's like fuck yeah man that guy like he's my exact type i'm looking for and chris is like chris d's like okay well text him right now and then he texts him he goes yeah he's into it so let me know what you want to do and she's like oh i can't wait and then she sent a picture of me she thought i was the homeless pig oh she And Chris, like, uh, that's not the homeless pimps. Gosh, that's fucking hilarious. Oh, Jesus Christ. No.

Yeah, he rules. Wrong guy. Homeless pimps is great. Who's that guy? Yeah, homeless pimps is a beast. Who's that? Who is that? He's a model that I,

Fallamton? His tattoos. I'm going to follow him. You guys love dude. Did we do? I don't know. He's a gay, man. You guys love like strong men.

Look at that guy. Who the fuck doesn't like that guy? Me. This guy seems awful. I wouldn't follow him I don't mean to disparage the guy Yeah but once you've seen it once you've seen Who is Elijah?

I'm all over at He's from Barcelona His hair's from Barcelona Get out of you here dude He's a male model He's a male model He was like a skinny dude at first And he started getting jacked

Yeah dude Yeah there's there right Who else you jerk off to Besides It's weird you follow male model though No I follow K-pop stars and everything.

K-pop makes sense. You're into music. They own models, then? I want to get tattoos. He said he likes his tattoos. Why don't you know what? I mean, I got to know exactly what I want. Do you have any tattoos?

One. Yeah, stick with one. You're fine. You're not going to turn into that. The tattoos aren't going to make you that guy. Let me see. How about this? I did shows in Dublin.

We like sold all these shows out. So we want to get a tattoo to remember. Like me, my brother's my tour manager, so we want to get tattoos in Dublin. Yeah. So we go this tattoo store in Dublin. And I asked her somebody on Instagram, this guy's like, come down here, man, right down the street, legit tattoo artist. So we go down there.

And he's like, the tattoo artist is like, all right, I'm not doing any fucking lucky charms. I'm not doing any four leaf clovers. That's not what the fuck we do here. And I was like, okay, that was all our eyes. That's kind of all. But he's like, well, he's like, once you get a horseshoes for good luck, we're like, oh, cool. Chin's never had a tattoo. Chin goes, put it on my, I want on my neck.

And the guy's like, no, I'm not getting your first tattoo on your fucking neck. No. Chin's like, yeah, I want it right in my fucking neck. and the guy's like, no, I'm not doing your neck, man. You're going to regret me. I honestly really wanted it, especially at that time. Because that's a memory from being to Ireland the first time. Sure. Huge shows.

It was a good time. A great memory, yeah. Next time. I don't know if it's neck tattoo, good time. Now that I have one, he'll probably give me a neck tattoo. Because I had no tattoos at all. That's why he was like, I can't get it here. That's where I draw the line.

That guy goes all. It looks like he has a tongue piercing as well. Well, that tattoo job, I mean, the whole thing was very good. God, Chris, it would be posted. No, this is homeless pimps, but he doesn't put it. himself out there? No. That's cool.

Go to his tagged photos. Maybe we'll have a couple. What do you go there? Right there. Yep. Nope. We have no idea what homeless pimple looks like. He has a big old beard.

Glasses there is. No, he looks like mankind. He looks like mankind. That's him for shaving. McFoly, like McFoly. Holy. Holy, holy. That's like, John I go.

He said, dude love. Yeah. I was like, you know he look at Chris Foley, right? Yeah. He's like, who? I'm like, fucking the sock guy, mankind? Oh, yeah, the sock. Which is the homeless type of?

On the left, the glasses with the yellow glasses. And I think he struggles with his pronouns. Is that right? Yeah. He's like in the third round with his pronouns. Is he? Yeah, I think so. Really?

I think he goes both ways. Non-binary? He didn't bring it up to me. And it doesn't seem like, yeah, true. I don't think a lot of people confided me in their pronouns. Shane's a guy. I don't think you're the guy. That guy will understand.

I'm just in here. Shane like pretty open-minded. You're like, you're what? I think so. I might be wrong, but I think so. That's a tough thing to put out. That's a strong. That's a strong beard.

You know, strong beard for a guy who, I mean, that's pretty masculine kind of look from what I can tell. I'm pretty sure he's just. Like, I call that a guy a dude. Yeah, he's a dude. Dude from Queens. He's as dude as it gets. Yeah. What are we talking about saying?

I guess his glasses might be a little feminine. I don't know. Just how I look like someone who they want to cancel. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm definitely a guy they see. They're like, yeah. You know, Chris is a good-looking kid.

Nobody gives him enough credit. Oh, he gets credit. He gets credit. Yeah, he's a good-looking guy. He'll take some Chris. Hey, homo's temp is buy, right? Oh, buy is different than struggling with their pronouns, though. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here's again. No glasses. Is Chris a D-1 basketball player? I doubt it. No, D-3.

Yeah, D-3. It's a sturdy kid. He's a big sturdy. Yeah, he's a big sturt. Yeah. big. Yeah. Strong.

He was good at basketball too, wasn't he? What did he? Yeah. He played college. He was really good D3. Yeah. He has like a statue there, some shit. I'm serious.

We got to tear it down. That statue's racist. Yeah. That's a white basketball player. What? All right. Chin, what do you got for current events, dude? All right.

All right. He's summer cats. If I pull it up right now. I'll pull it up right. I'll be really fast. Go ahead, man. Of course. All right.

Before I start, I hope you don't mind me asking, but when you're on Rogan, I say on Rogan, and then you said a joke, and it just flew by him and you guys stared at each other. Oh, that was awesome. How was that? That was so great. It was a big swing. I told him a story. It wasn't like the best. It wasn't a joke.

You told him a story. Yeah, I was just telling a story how like when I was getting fired, I was like, I'll just go on Rogan and be bigger. But of course, I wasn't on Rogan for two years. It was just funny. I said it to him. He asked him, like, how it went down with, like, Lauren Michael. And he's like, yeah, Lauren was like, you know, we got to take off Saturday Live. And he goes, all right, cool.

I'm just going on fucking Rogan. Pause, pause. Yeah. He goes, I was like, I was like, I'll just go on Rogan. And then he goes, what? I was like, nothing. I thought it's funny. Yeah.

There's nothing to walk. There wasn't like, in his defense, there wasn't like a clear joke. And I think he might have interpreted it as me being like, where were you? You know what I mean? I think he might have been like... Like how you do not reach out? Because the joke was that I was like arrogant that I was like... Like, oh, fine.

I'll just move on to Rogen. Yeah. That's how I took that. That was the joke. It was like, I would never be like where the fuck was you. Especially the fact you went. Yeah. Yeah.

And then you go, then you go, no. All right. That was funny. I thought it was great. And then I thought it was great. Thank God. Because for real for the next five minutes, I was just in my head like, what the fuck was that? Like, this is crazy.

And then, uh, I thought it was great. Thankfully, I brought it back up. I was like, hold on, we got to stop. Like, whoever's watching this. Just rewind that and watch my face. Yeah. Like, I brought it up, thankfully. Yeah, you got to bring it up.

I was like, you got to see what it just had. You can literally see my face melt. Yeah, I thought it was funny. Like this teeth showing small. Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't see you sometimes. And he'll just sit there and he's like. And he didn't, you know, he does that podcast constantly.

So he's not nervous. He doesn't care. Yeah. But for me, it was like, home field for me. This is it. Yeah. I was just saying that we're not recording, right? Yeah, we are.

Oh, we don't have to. I don't care. We can record. Okay. But it was like, there were two moments in comedy where I was like, oh, shit. The one was SNL, like, walking into audition and seeing that stage. Oh, great. Because, like, leading up to it, I was like, I don't give a fuck.

Who cares? I'm not going to get it. I'm not nervous at all. And then you walk in and see the main stage. And you're like, this is big. And then for the same thing with Rogan. Like, I was like, oh, this is a podcast. I do a podcast.

Every day, I've talked about SNL a million times. Different animals. And then as soon as you walk in that room, I was like, oh, shit, this is that room. This is Jerry. Like, this is that room I've seen a thousand times. Yeah. And then, yeah, just fucked it. As soon as we started talking about SNL, I was, I was just in my own head.

Because the whole time was like, is this good? Am I bombing? He was like, what are you talking about? Yeah. Like, you're fine. Yeah, you're fine. No, you did good on it. I suck.

No, you know, the mistake people make is trying to get on there and be funny. Yeah. Oh, it never goes well. Oh, it never goes well. Oh, my God. Don't do bits out there. That's why I won't have, like, you do a bit, and he'll just be like, what are you doing?

Oh, nothing. I just, it's so stupid. Nothing I'm a fucking idiot. I'm sorry. That's why, you know, Theo, I think, went on at once. You know, Theo fucks around and does a lot of bits and it's just like not hitting. Dude, that's got a good. And then Theo calls me and goes, man, I go, how to go.

He goes, good, man. But sometimes he's just not down to play. I'm like, no, dude. And he's like, and he's like, and then also, bro, that's the longest I've ever talked somebody in my life. he goes that's a real for real thing he goes i even talked to my mom for three hours that's it for real thing when was the last time you talk to anybody for three hours that's a long fucking time right even on even in a car even five times a week he does it five times a week and he'll do it with the top

scientists Elon like genius people oh yeah so when comics get in there he's like oh fuck yeah you guys for three hours yeah yeah and then you know it's a bad show if it's only like an hour and 40 true well i didn't go well for you i didn't know that so what I got done, I was like, I think that might do it. I think I sucked. Of course, the whole, like, then we went out to eat and we're hanging out and I'm like, did I fucking, I was just, I must have been so fucking annoying to him. Like, did that suck? I fucking blew it, didn't I? And there he was like, you're fine. No, it's great. Stop. Yeah, it was great. And, uh, then I did it. Then when it came out, it was like three hours or whatever. And someone was like, oh, it must have been good.

If it's, if it's under, like, depending on what is, it's under three. Yeah. Yeah. As long as it's over like two and a half, you're good. But if it's under that, it's like, oh, you're out of shit to talk about. Yeah. He's one of the... But he's like our version of Johnny Carson. Like, you go on there, especially before... I'm not saying Spotify's not like that, but it's not as big.

But, you know, when you would go on there, it was literally like, it was your audition for, like, on the tonight. Sure. Like, you would, you could build a career off of that, man. I never thought of it that way. Oh, yeah. I never did either. Now, in hindsight, years and years later, like, some of the fight companions, we'd bullshit. Like, you know, I do fight companion.

now, it's more fight talk, but when you meet Eddie and Rogan would do, we'd talk about octopus for an hour. We'd have like 7 million views. I never even knew. I was like, who the fuck would watch Eddie rant on conspiracies for an hour while you're shouting at him? We'd get all drunk and shout at Eddie.

That's crazy. And yet, he was right on most things. Yeah. Yeah, the only time I ever got... There's a really special time. Sure. Yeah. I remember I did Letterman in 1999, and I saw his mug.

I was backstage. And somebody said, somebody made sense saying, you know, the Beatles performed on this stage at Sullivan. Great. And I went, that'd get you. That got me. And then I went. And then I saw a Letterman's mug and I watched him so much.

And I was doing it. That triggered you. It triggered me. And I went and I got fucking almost debilitated. I was so fucking nervous. Yeah. When I, four and a half minutes, which is even worse. If you have like an hour, you can.

Yeah, four and a half. You got to get your beak wet. Dude. You're not getting comfortable. Hit the camera there, then turn and do this one. If you can, and then you're like, fuck, do you. I remember the only time I ever felt that in stand-up is I grew up. My mom was the biggest Robin Williams fan.

She loved Robin Williams. And I was playing Cobbs for the first time, not with you by myself. And my mom texted me a picture that I drew of Robin Williams. And she's like, you know, that was Robin Williams' home club. Literally like 20 minutes before I went on stage. And then I was like, oh, fuck, Robin Williams was here. I didn't think about it. You weren't doing club.

You're just going, going, going. And then when you stopped smell the roses, And I talked to the GM like, this was Robin Williams Club. He's like, yeah, man. He's here in Punchline like, this was his shit. He like helped us so many times. I'm like, he was on that stage? And he's like, yeah, dude.

I was like, oh, no doubt. I called my mom. I was crying, yeah? Yeah. That's crazy. That's awesome. That's so weird. Yeah, there's a couple of the cellar. That was one. Like walking down those steps for the first time I did, or yeah, the first time I did the seller.

I was like, oh, shit. I never had any reference for any comics or any comics. I never had, at the comic store? I never had one. You were an actor. I was an actor and I didn't even have, I had reference for actors. Yeah, I never had any reference for comics. I just didn't, I, to me, it was never the mystery that say acting was or writing.

Like, you know, if I met certain people or sports, like, you know, certain guys who were just like amazing athletes, they were just a mystery to me. I was like, you know. Every, you know, before, when the comic store was the store, like, obviously now they're going through the transition, but when it was a store, no matter what? You know, I'd do it a million times. No matter what, I'd have to hype myself up in the car. Because I know it's the kind of... Well, you were coming up.

You were all... You were also wedged between... You're also wedged between the biggest comics in the world. Oh, I'd be like, hey, who... For real. Who am I going tonight? Yeah, it's crazy. They'd be like, oh, you're between Joey Diaz and Chris Dillia.

Yeah. And then you're Sebastian and Bill Burr and Rogan. That was the lineup. Yeah, that's crazy. You know. Tuesday night. Tuesday night. Tuesday night was the popping night.

That was incredible. Yeah, it's like training camp. There's nothing better. Yeah. That's a good thing. It's nice. It helps. Like I did,

sorry. No, you're fine. Like, I was, I walked into the cellar and Louis was just standing in the hall. And they were like, I was like, oh, fuck,

he's bumping me. And he was, well, of course he was nice about it. He was like, you don't care. And I was like, but now I got to fucking follow you.

Yeah. That sucks. And he's like, no, it's good. He's like, everybody in that room is going to be like, oh,

our night's made. Now we're all happy. So, Like once they see like the best, it's actually easy. They got their money's worth. They're still, they're all excited, they're happy.

And he was like, just don't mention it. He's like, don't go on, because he used to do that with like Seinfeld. Like he'd have to follow Seinfeld. And then he would go on a stage and then he would go on a stage and be like, yeah.

How are you going to do that? It's a great. You just never mention it. I wish somebody gave, I wish I had that note because I remember like four years ago. I had to follow Neil Brennan. It was when a special came out. And he did some crazy bit was like,

you know just the his vocabulary he's like so much better in mind he's such smart dude and he wrote Chappelle and he like brought the house down and I acknowledged it I want to say I acknowledged it and it I ate shit yeah that God why would I do that that was incredible right

yeah it was I would have never thought about it I wish you would have gave me that note yeah but I in my mind I was like oh I'll address it because they know I'm not Neil Brennan so I'm gonna address it just so the elephants out of the room but they're like what the f you're at the comedy store you better I've had to follow Like if you're here, you better be good.

Yeah, I've had to follow literally everybody from Chris Rock to you. Yeah, sure. But I never obviously thought about it. But part of it's because I just believed I was, you know, I'm fine. You have to. Yeah. Yeah. But you have to.

Rogan made me follow Burr one time on Rogan and Friends. That's good. Because Burr wanted to go up early and I was like, oh, am I going to go like before him and then Burr go up? But then he was just like, it's going to go posting. Burr, Lacey, and then Rogan, and I was like, all right, holy shit. You're good.

The only time I ever mentioned. Yeah, but you need that. That's like when Navy SEALs put on more equipment. That's all you're doing. The only time I ever mentioned anything was when I was doing Gotham, I was headlining Gotham and Seinfeld came in and asked me if he

could, you know, to get up and do some stuff before me, like basically to trade, because he was doing Letterman or something, I mean, or he was doing Leno. And I was like, of course, you know, of course. Yeah. gets up and does his thing. And the only thing I said was after he got off, they brought me on. And all I said was, I was like, well, they asked me who I wanted to have feature for me.

And they were all fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember the first time ever headline at the comic store was the belly room. And I was like, yeah, why they asked me like a two day notice. I'm like, I give me a little heads up. They're like, no, just run your whatever hour in the belly room. I'm like, fuck, man, that's a big deal. And so I was like, hell yeah, I'm in. So I'm like, why would they call me. I went, who canceled? And it was game seven of the Dodgers that night, so nobody's showing up. And there was probably seven people in the crowd.

Oh, no. Dude, seven people in the crowd. I'm in the back. I felt like, like, oh, the store's never going to invite me back, man. I'm such a fucking loser. And Dave Chappelle walks in the back and goes, what's up, young? And I'm like, what's up, Dave Chappelle? He was, uh, your headline tonight?

I go, yeah, he goes, you mind if I get on before? I was like, I mean, I'd really rather you didn't No I was like I went To do whatever you want to do Talk about back My mouth was so my mouth was so dry

I remember going Whatever you want to do dude Dude he went out there He did two hours Yeah he'll do that Then I went on at around Probably 1 30 when there's three people in the bed I was just like

I don't know Yeah And the bummer was there was other comics on before Me and Dave And in the back It's like oh I'm gonna pick his brain on comedy And like I'm gonna bring up all this shit

And all he wanted to talk about was fighting anybody who knows me knows I fucking hate that yeah unless it's like I'll talk about rogan or something like that but it's just general question about fighting I'm like fuck dude yeah and I could not get a word in about comedy well he beat you to the punch because I bet he hates talking about you were gonna be like right Chappelle show like yeah's probably mother what is there talking about yeah he was like you know health he was like you think this thing's bad for me and it was a vape pen I was like it ain't good yeah he's like yeah my doctors and he's like I was like it sounds like your doctor's

full of shit. And I was like, why might give me fucking hell of rice? I don't know, dude. Do what, whatever you're doing, keep doing it, man. How about that? What would you ask him about comedy, though? I wouldn't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's not figured out in the moment.

It's not much. There's not really much. If I was teaching a class on comedy. No, I'm not looking for like, hey, with your joke, dude, but I don't know. I don't like. Like, hey, man, have you done Pittsburgh Improv? Like, like, like, like, because when I was there, the blue collar, like, some stuff didn't hit. Or just like. I had a guy

Why'd you get into comedy? Like, what made you want to be a stander? I had a producer come to me and go, I have an amazing idea for you. I was like, I had you guys, you're going to teach an online stand-class. How many people would tune in to hear you talk about comedy? You've had all this experience. And I was like, there is not a thing. I could teach anyone about comedy.

You know what it is? Write and do it. Yeah. Just get on stay. Get up. Get up. What do you mean? What am I going to tell you?

Get up. It's like, what can you tell me about playing guitar? I don't know, you've got to play it for a long time. But it's also like, I was telling Chappelle this yesterday, we're talking about this comic who I was like, he's never going to make it, dude. He's our friend. I was like, he's never going to make it.

Because he's lazy and he doesn't write. And I was like, and he's busy chasing girls. And I told Chappelle, I'm like, he's never going to make it. Because if you think about, like, if, because they're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, if I have to say, hey, dude, make sure you get up doing sets, make sure you're doing this. You're already at such a disadvantage,

you're never going to make it. Because I know other comics who are hustling their ass off, who are funnier. Yeah. And nobody has to tell them to do that. Well, yeah, it's because you want to do it. Yeah, you like it. You have to want it more than anything.

Like I was telling, like I made this comparison. Like when I was in the UFC and I was like rank number 10 in the world at the time, and there was a lot of young kids in the gym. And Mark Munoz calls me, and he was, hey man, these guys, you know, they're trying to be in the UFC. They want to be like you, can you come down and talk to them? Because a lot of them are missing practice. And they're just not dedicated.

And I said, Mark, I'm. I'm telling you, dude, you don't want me to do it. He's like, no, I'm telling you, maybe boost the morale. Like, go talk to them. I'm like, telling you, you don't want me to do it, man. He's like, no, I'm telling you, whatever you do, I co-sign, go do it. So he gets all the kids there, and I go, how many want to go to the UFC? And they raise their hand, I go, cool.

Now, Mark tells me you guys have trouble showing up to practice. None of you are going to make it. All you that raise your hand, none of you will make it. I promise you. I go, you know how many times a coach had to tell me to come to practice? Zero. They go, how many? go fucking never

they have to take the keys from me from the gym because they couldn't get me out of it and that's what you're dealing with and there's a hundred other guys just like me that are fucking chomping at the dick to make to your seat so you're not going to make it yeah there's no fucking way and then I was like

that's my time dude that was a real genuine mistake wait you know it's chomping at the pit right yeah that was an accident that would be so funny so many people say chomping at the bit true so I change it up

If you genuinely were like saying that for your whole life, you're like, and I'm chomping at the dick. And no one's corrected you. That'd be so funny. I'm like, wait, what? No. Someone at the bed.

Oh, this guy wrote. I just said it on a Zoom car. This one you wrote, this one did I follow wrote, I got shadow banned. And he spelled it B-A-N-D. Oh, no.

It's a due end? Yeah. And I was like, shadow-bained? B-A-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-. No, he thought like a rubber band. And I was like, and he had this whole.

thing. Kadoosh, kadoos. I was like, God damn it. There's not there was somebody trying to make a point to the miss spelling. Fuck. Like there's just all fucking. I stole my friend's notebook in Spanish

class when we were kids and he spelled pants like you would dance. It was just spanish you're the dumbest fucking kids. Well a lot of it's like could have is like COUVD OF instead of could have. Just the posth to be, you hear a lot of that stuff.

Comedy is one of those things, though, you can do for 10, 15, 20 years and fool yourself into thinking you have a job because you're hanging at the club. You're at the club. You're around other successful comedy. And you're working, and you're right. And you had a great 15 minutes. So you did your work that day. And it feels like you get away with that.

And then, dude, you wake up. You wake up, you're 40? And you got a gig in fucking Indianapolis at the healing. Well, you don't. 17 taken. Or you can't sell tickets and you don't have any tickets. That's what I'm saying. And then it dries up.

I'm like, fuck. I said that to a couple of young comics who were less than young. If you're in your 30s and you're just, and I remember I just saw them and they were just good guys. And they were just. No, you, I remember this. You went up to him and go, what are you doing? They were just hanging out. What are you doing?

They're just staring like that. And they're like, because they're around like, you know, her and Delia and Brian goes, what are you doing? And they're all, what? No, they go, they go, we're kind of fuck boys. They're going to the thing. They're going to the thing. They're going to the thing. No, what are you doing in general?

We're going to go to the laugh act. I'm going to bring us. No, I get that. No, what are you doing in general? It's an important question. It is a good question. Hang around. No one's ever asked them that.

So they're like, wait, what? They didn't know what was going on. They look like they're looking at most. But those guys need that. They need it. And I like them both. And I'm like, hey, you're bothering me with your general energy all the time. With your whatever energy.

The lingers. Larry lingers. Get it together. Because life it's fucking way shorter than you think and you're gonna wake up and you're gonna be way too old to make a difference You hit him with a wet day on the face man that's funny though If you did that to me and my friends when you walked away I'd be like fucking Got sucks dude We're fine

That can get some shots Let's get some shots Yeah for sure Fuck that Is that like that the seller? They're lingers like guys like Yeah they have a very strict rule about like you can't even sit you can't sit at the table unless you're A comic. Yeah.

And then every once in a while somebody will sit down. No way. And people. So embarrassing. That's awkward. Which is also awesome. Yeah. You get crushed.

Yeah. There's literally a placard that says like for comedians only. Yeah. And somebody like Bobby Kelly or they'll just walk right up and just slam it right in front of you while you're sitting there. Wow. Just like, how's Bobby doing? I love him so much. He's so fucking funny.

That's a guy. Like if you think about the seller of like dudes that'll crush you if you're very. Bobby's a killer. Bobby will. So it was Colin Quinn. Yeah, they literally just sit there. And if you come in, they're just... Lighting you up.

They're on you. Yeah. And Dave Attel is there all the time, too? Yeah. Monster. Tell's always like, kind of, like, moving around. In and out, smoking out front. Yeah.

He's always moving out front. He's like... To me, to me, it's just raw comic, raw stand-up. Pound for pound. It might be all time. Best, he's up there. Attel's up there. Atel's up there.

I mean, his best shit. I mean, his best shit was astonishing. I was staying at the same hotel. I was staying at the same hotel. hotel is a tell and he's that like you know like you are with athletes that time with comics and I remember I saw him I kind of panic because we're both outside I was waiting for my Uber and I get a coffee and I look at me and I go cigarettes huh and then just jumped in the Uber really yeah dude I went cigarettes huh and fucking I had the same exact story so I was at it was

at the cellar Chris Rock's at the table it was me Michelle Wolf and Chris Rock and I made Chris Rock laugh with like a joke shitty like a Sandy Hook joke or something where I was like Whatever. I was like, you know, that didn't happen, right? Like, it was just, it was something. Throw away. And so I was like, made Chris Rock laugh. I'm walking outside.

I'm like, dude, this is it. I'm at the cellar. Then I walk outside and a tell us smoking a cigarette. I was like, you got an extra cigarette? He just walked away. I was just like, I am a fucking idiot, dude. Stupid. What if I done?

Michelle Wolf is super sweet. Yeah, she's awesome. She came up with you guys too, right? Yeah. Well, no, I'm three years. She was older than that. Yeah. She was with, like, soda.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never even knew her. She's awesome. I saw her at the comedy cell. I'd never met her. And she just, she goes, oh,

she gave me a hug and a kiss. She's great. She's a monster. Yeah. Do you remember she did the White House address? Oh, she's great. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. She's very funny. She's one of those like, I was, you know, when I was a disgruntled open mic her in Philly, I was like,

women suck at comedy. And then I saw her kill. Oh, God. I'm wrong. I open for her. It was like I wasn't even on the fucking show. Yeah. She went up there and just,

fucking super talented Mm-hmm. What got, Chin? All righty. I like the floral today, Chin. Thank you. Appreciate it. How's your net?

It's kind of the same. Just never getting better. Not getting better, but... Jim was staring at the sun and tweaked his net. No. Something happened. No, it can't be the wrestling

because it happened like a week later, two weeks later. That's... That wrestling can help it. They put me on another thing. I had to like a video visit with a doctor or a nurse. And then...

Video visit. Because I'm trying everything to get to get a freaking MRI. But then what I could do is do a video visit, so then she put me on some sort of quarter-quote steroid. Did it help? It's a six-day process, so I'm on the second day right now, so hopefully it'll get better.

So the reason he fucked his neck up is we call these two The Short Kings. And we had a We had a thing where Brian Chappelle played bouncers to see if they kick me out of the bar and the studios of the bar. So neither one of these two could kick me out. I wasn't. No, it was Brian and Chin.

Oh, that's right. So Brian and Chin tried kick him out. Obviously he didn't happen. Yeah. And then we wanted to see if the short kings could kick out chin. And apparently chin fucked his off. Probably wearing the same shirt too. It's pretty funny.

But this was actual video. I thought it was a new thing. Hold on. They fuck up the sign, man. They fuck up that sign. Brendan Soap for the side. He's guarding with his life. They're very strong.

Split in the double team. Wedge breaker. Chin, look at chin. Chin's not letting them get in. These two giant guys. Marquez is the biggest wedgy in the world. See, they broke the light. You did know what was going to happen.

Well, that was pretty much it. When you feel that double team, just drop. Just drop? Straight down. All like dead weight? They got me out. Oh, they fuck. Really?

Yeah. The short kings got me out. Yeah. They fucking, dude, with ease. You got to drop, dude. I don't know. I didn't fucking play football. Is that like a football thing?

Yeah. The drop? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, right there. Yeah, they got me out pretty fucking fans. One of the short kings needs to get to the next level. No, watch this.

They do. Right here. Look at Kyle. Look at this. It's just floating. Because you picked his leg up. Well done. Yeah, once you got my leg up, I was like, oh, I have no.

Short kings in the house. Yeah. I have no fucking difference. How was the comedy store last night? It was good. How did you hesitate? The lineup could have been better, but it was good. Eric Griffin, Ari.

Yeah, the Sky, the Scalar twins. Splar Bros. And then... Hazus Trail and then like a bunch of people that didn't recognize. I don't think I saved hers. I think I did before then. So this kid, George, he's never been on a plane. His dad was a heroin addict.

He's in a wheelchair. I think mom passed away. Brother passed away from overdosing. This kid was... Was he joking? Yeah. Yeah. He's like peanut butter, fowper.

Anyway, so he, he lost, he was he was 420 pounds. He's down to 260. All right. So we flew him out yesterday. He's never been on plane. Flew him out. Had him on the show.

Then he wrestled Stevie and Stevie beat the show. Whatever. He's in a wheelchair? His dad is. So he takes care of his dad. Wow. And he was just... You've got to Stevie Blue Eyes?

No. No, Stevie. Weeby. Bobby. He had him wrestle someone? They wanted to wrestle. He put a singlet on, Stevie put a single it on. And they wanted to wrestle because that's why he was losing the weight motivation. Oh, okay.

He's like, I'll beat the shit as Stevie. Right, prove it. So then he came out here and he fucking, he got dealt with with Stevie. Damn, Derek Brunsson. Derek Brinson. He was on food truck. Go back. Oh, wait, what the hell?

It's probably past 24 hours. I still have the video. It's all good. But yeah, that kid, that kid, he's, Down to 260 was 400 some pounds. Never been on plane. He has a shit job. You just feel for the kid.

He's like, I was like, are you making money? He's like, I make $17 an hour, dude. I'm bawling. It's not bad. What is he from? For America. He's from Chicago. Oh, Chicago.

It's pretty good money. But he went to, he's never been to the comedy store. He like looks up the comedy store. So I called him. He got him tickets. Front row, right? Booth at the comedy store. No, it wasn't a booth.

It was like the table right there. The table was right on the stage. We were the first table. Front row beside that. Awesome. So he's never. And then he, I'm flying him from Chicago to San Antonio in my shows next week. Oh, hell yeah.

So he'll be with us in the green room. Oh, fuck yeah. That's amazing. That's amazing. That's exciting. Yeah. Super nice kid. Yeah.

Really good. Yeah. Is George Harris, the super sweet kid. And he credits Brendan for changing his life. He literally said he changed his life. Yeah. I don't know. To lose weight and all the stuff.

What else? That's awesome, though. Yeah. All right. So, it's like a real fucking downer. That sounds terrible. Is it in the green room? just starts crying

I'm like I'm going to go out there you sit tight I don't feel good right now I'm a little sad all right friend of the show Dream Brewer I guess he's canceling a few of his shows you see you announce this on Facebook live

he's going to house yeah because the venues are requiring people to have you know passports yeah you know Jim's going through Jim's wife and he's talked about this has cancer right

and he used the word terminal I hope she's doing well I think she is. I love Jim. Favorite guest we've ever had him find the kid. He's so fucking great. I mean, I love you, Shane. And I,

Jim Brewer, it was a great fucking guest. This is my favorite podcast. I'm better. We're just saying, bro. But he, I think that he takes it, like,

for him, it's like, I, I think his kids had an issue with the vaccines, though. Something's going on with his daughter.

She had an issue when she got vaccinated. Oh, and he just wants somebody. Here's my thing. Listen, if this is his decision, it's the same decision

as a home boy, what's the guy, Ratatouille? Pat. Pat Oswald, Red Toey. Oh, shit. He's not a big movie? I got kids. Everybody got it.

Yeah, you got it. Pat Oswald, same thing. He canceled show. He was the main voice of Rattoe. Huge movie for a kid. If you don't want Pixar's dropping stuff. But, yeah, he's great. I love Patton.

But, so he canceled shows in Texas and Florida because they weren't requiring vaccine stuff. He's so liberal. But that's fine That's his choice So but for Jim Brewer Like that's fine Like if this is how you feel And it's your show

It's like But again That's your thing Isn't there a huge theory Behind Pan Oswald Killing his wife or something No not a god damn What's no

And don't float that shit out She passed away from cancer She passed away from cancer She also solved The Golden Gate Killer He's a world out No she had cancer

No I think she had a heart attack I think she was taking Bring that shit up I just heard that. Don't spread dumb rumors. Disparacy theory over there. Oh, God, that's powerful. Don't look this off.

No, let's find out, dude. I think it was pills. Yeah, it was. Yeah, medication. Yeah. She was taking, she was taking, she was writing and trying to solve that case. She solved it. She solved the Golden Gate.

She was taking stuff to sleep and stuff to stay awake in it. Welcome to final kids, Jay. It was not funny. It's very sad. Didn't he kill it? God damn it. I hate that stuff. Well, Nick, he didn't know.

Don't be sorry, but he doesn't know. It's a rumor. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't Pat, I'm all the wife killer? We're like, hey, man. Talk about Rattatooey, bro. Yeah, those things take on life.

We love you, me, ball. No, no one believes that. That's not even a rumor. Well, you don't have a podcast called Conspiracy Social Club, and I've talked to a lot of people, dude. But that's not even a rumor. Like, I've heard rumors. That's not even a rumor out of Pat and Oswald.

Yeah. I've had a number of. conspiracy, like big time conspiracy say that? Say that? No, I just When you start asking You start asking him

Where they got their theories from And yeah but that's not what he's doing He was just you know He was just curious He probably got done with a fucking pick up Kickball game and the boys were like Man how about Patton killing it? You know?

Like that's other shit's too I'm sorry Me ball He's a buddy so I I'm sorry Me ball Right here Yeah but we figured it out

See yeah we solved it done Case close See case close It's not gonna say it again it's pending he's not gonna say it the case was really open I know

didn't exist no I've never heard that my life it's official that's the problem it's clear this song the problem is like what you were doing before I was like well I mean I don't know

you never once you do that you never know look into it it's like no not with Patton like we know that like we know Patton he's a good good dude

yeah but what is all right moving on Michael Shea's getting sued I guess he has a sketch show now and then one of the one of the things he said one of the sketches

was something called homegirl and then the home girl Hotline where you can call this girl to take care of all your issues because you know when you're in an uncomfortable situation with other girls this girl come in and take care of it for you And it's not popping up now for some reason, hold on And so he had a skit show?

Sketch show. What's it on? Hold on HBO, yeah. Here we go. He has a sketch show and he's on Saturday Live? Yeah, it's good. It ain't. It ain't.

It's good. I'm going to talk for you. I'm friends with Che. I know. He's at the cellar all the time. Yeah, he's a funny dude. But he's getting sued now because another girl says that she did this before him, and they're taking her idea. So I'll just play this for you first.

This stuff's tricky because he has riders, right? My husband has an affair. It's like the Amy Schumer. Is there the residence with you now? No. Hey, but his belongings are? Yeah. Great.

And can I get a vehicle description location? His truck is at work. It's a black Ford, F-150. I can get you the address. Okay, I am dispatching a home girl right now. I need to leave the front door unlocked for her. You can feel free to go back to bed, and then we will call you when we are finished. Thank you, Homegirl Hotline.

You did the right thing by calling us. All right, bye. I got sure the music off on this. But this girl comes out. I can promise you. I know. I know him. It's parallel thinking.

There is zero chance. Michael Chase saw this and was like, I'm going to do that. Also, a comic at his level, it's like this isn't that original idea. And a comic at his level, he knows, let's just. say he did do that. A, he wouldn't get to the level he's at

by stealing stupid shit like this. No. Yeah. And he's one of he's really good comic. Like in very original. Anyway. I'll show you his part or his, one of his sketches for Homegirl. Well, his sketch

is way better. I got this. Oh. What? I'm really sorry about everything. Thanks, Homegirl. Oh, come. Come on. That's the only thing.

It's the only thing. There's a thing that girl on TikTok doing this, now we're aware of it, right? Yeah, she's not good. She's not going to win. She's not going to win this case. But also the only reason they used Homegirl on Chee Show is because they couldn't say lesbian. That's the joke. The joke is you want to call a lesbian to beat up a lady.

That's the joke. But they couldn't do that. Well, it's very different. How do you call? It's very different than that. This is way better. Yeah. Because you're dealing with a real concept.

But she's getting PR out of it. Yeah, so she's getting more popular now. So it's going to work. What will happen is... She's not going to win. No. The judge would watch this like, oh, well, he should just keep doing it because it's funny in your side.

Have you guys seen this video? No. It's a woman getting kicked down an escalator in Brooklyn. And apparently she said that she felt like her skin was being like ripped apart. You know, because escalators have those jagged little metal pieces on it. Yeah, why they're so sharp? I don't know. It sucks.

They got to change it. Very dangerous. They are sharp. Now, these are your people. so you're in hometown man yeah so this dude apparently

the guy was walking up the escalator and went by the girl fast so she was like say excuse me or something like that and then he just kicks her yeah this guy was committed the Florida State hold up

you can see it here he's passing by her he's like what Sparton kick what the fuck straight up Spartan kick yeah Jesus Christ

and just oh she ate shit oh my gosh I mean those escalars are crazy and what happened She's still trying to find out. Well, she's all right, but she has like a bunch of lacerations. She doesn't straight up Spartan kick.

What the fuck? I feel like mask fuck things up. Yeah, that's what sucks. I feel like masks fuck things up because look at it. Okay. That's all I can get. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. That's every guy. Okay. Yeah. Long hair, masks. I find him with his eyes. They can find him. Nah.

It's going to be tough. He has a very unique hairstyle that maybe they can get him. Well, one of somebody's going to rat on him. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What a douche bread? Like, say, somebody in here, like, say, Meatball.

did that after spreading that horrible lie about and he kicked a girl down like we could tell right away. Like people that know that kid are going to know right away. Was that a Nike backpack? You know what I'm saying? A Nike. He looks like his tape mask even.

Dude, that's literally everybody in New York. That guy's, he's going to... Oh, that's a common look. That guy's a piece of shit is what he is. God, he fucking Spartan kicked that girl. Yeah. A girl, too. I got my fuck you up, dude. Don't fight him on an escalator.

He's one and out. Yeah. He's undefeated. He's on the feet right now. We'll just watch your birds. You don't like that. I want to hurt that dude so badly that he has trouble walking for the rest of his life. Okay, Brian.

Dude, moved to New York and fight crime. I would like to hurt that guy. Dude, they're defund the police. Go fucking fight crime. I've done something like that. What do you got, these two friends that are cops from Miami, or they were former cops now.

They did a, their favorite thing was that bad boys movie, and you could check these guys out, too. We all love that movie. But they actually looked like, They could be in a movie. They're kind of like, these are actual cops in the left. These guys are fantastic.

But, oh man, they got two into care. They're in Miami. Yeah, they're in Miami. Yeah, Miami. That's how. You see how into it.

They're not good cops. You're like bad boys for life. They actually put that in their thing. Hell yeah. These guys are fucking awesome. So what happened? They were running drugs. So they,

they got tricked by the DEA. They went undercover. They got tricked. They got tricked. Because they wanted to help, you know. Yeah, they wanted to help like getting cocaine

from one place to another so they're going to go in the car with them and just be their bodyguards, right? They wanted to be like the movies. They wanted to make big bang. They want to make real money. But that was an inside sting, so they're now, it wasn't real coke.

They're going away for a long time. For three years, I think. And they lost their jobs, for sure. They lost being police officers. But another thing that sucks is this guy on the right, I think his name is Flowers. His whole family's cops. His dad, his sister.

Oh, yeah. Lineage. So, dude. That's so embarrassing. Yeah. It also sucks. He's in that rain drought. Can you imagine?

You got to go home to them. I know. Dad does not look like he's... Dad doesn't look like he fucks around. Oh, dude. And dad's got to go back to his precinct. Yeah, but does he come home? He's like,

dad, come on, man. You know how much I love bad boys. His dad and his brother beat his ass. He's like, come on. He saw Will Smith, dude. That's the other cop, too. They're just living the life. Can you imagine being that age?

Did he post this on Instagram? On his Facebook. These guys are fantastic. Yeah. What did they think? But being cops is. What did they think was going to happen? What did they think?

I also don't trust a cop who looks that good and dresses that way. And also has all that money in a strip club? Is this Justin Elliott as a cop? I know. Look at him. There is a thing of cops doing like TikToks and shit. It's not good. Did you ever see one of the cops?

No, that's not good. Cops filming themselves in their car. Yeah. Dude, be a cop. The only funny cop was the cop. He made fun of LeBron. Which one was that? He got fired, but then the go-fund me.

saved him. You never saw it? No. So he you can't look it up to him the cop. He's making fun of... Remember when LeBron was mad that that that cop shot the black girl who's going to stab the other black girl? Yes. So LeBron put out like, you know, like your time's up and like blasted his... I remember

that. Yeah. This cop made a hilarious fucking video of it. Well... You got fired. He got fired. In Bellevue, let go today after the office said he was placed on a quote, last chance agreement with Bill because of clearly laid out

That's just a news article I'm sure the real video's out there, right? He's an Idaho cop. You didn't see this? No. But again, why are cops doing this? This one was actually fucking funny, dude.

Like, he lost his job, but fuck, it was funny. My favorite part is when he goes, Michael Jordan's better, he goes, what? Nothing? Have a good day. Ryan. Let me go on YouTube. Oh, what are you on Google? No, just, yeah.

There's troops making TikToks. It's awkward. It's weird. It's the worst. When they dance is the worst part. Oh, they do the dances? They'll do dance. But I did like when the cops got into the crate challenge.

Did you see that cop? Yeah, that's the hood. He's like, what's up, everybody? And everyone's rooting against him. And he, like, falls and breaks his arm. Oh, no. He's all, what's up? Kids stay in school.

And then he's all, like, climbing up there. Their program. Yeah. He broke his fucking arm. And he's like, gun. It's flying up. Dispatch. Here it is.

Disturbance. There is. Disturbance. have LeBron call my cell phone right away, please, thank you. Excuse me, sir. Excuse me? No, can you put the knife down, please, sir? No, no, no, sir, don't stab it. No, no, stop, stop. Hold on. Hold on. It's LeBron.

LeBron. Hey, you got it's me again. Listen, I'm out here at this disturbance call, and there's a guy trying to stab another guy with a knife. What do you think I should do? What does that matter? Okay, well, they're both black. One guy's trying to stab another guy with a knife. Deadly force is completely justified. Uh-huh. see. So you don't care

if a black person kills another black person but you do care if a white top kills a black person. You had to know you're going to get some shit. I mean, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But then again, you are really good at basketball. So I guess I'll take your work. All right. Yep. Okay.

He needed an editor here. Michael Jordan's the goat. What? Nothing. I got to go. All right, guys. You're on your own. Good luck. If I could have edited that, I would have just said, don't do the black-white thing, just do the thing and get advice for him. That's all.

And it would have been funny. Yeah, he lost his job. This I just thought was cool. He's one of the best. What do you call those things? What are he? Sign twirlers. And he's from Dallas, Texas.

All right. He should get into park horror. He can't put the major. Well, he's not keto. Definitely not keto. But he is good at his job. Wow. I love people that get at their jobs like this.

Yep. So it says, which way is the store? Oh, my. Who said, Oh, I agree. Where the fuck? Get out of here,

dude. Yeah. He's better here. Oh, here he goes. All right. He's actually really athletic. Amazing, actually.

That's why. Look at this. That is super athletic. Oh, shit. Like a B-boy. Yeah, he's actually athletic. He just,

look at that. He just likes treats. He likes all the snacks. He likes snacks. There you go. The passion for it. Yeah. A lot of fashion.

Super cuts. And then this guy one more time. Oh, the fucking... Yeah. That guy that jumps and doesn't look real. Oh, that Brian's obsessed with?

Yeah. It's time to slam now. Look at this. Damn, dude. It doesn't look real. Yeah. But this is on a hard surface now so you can actually tell.

He almost hits his head on the... Yeah. Yeah. That's wild. That is wild. But what's, you know... What's he doing? Flip's at L.A. Fitness?

I know. That's it Maybe start spinning a sign for Great Cliff. Yeah, that's how you do it. Okay, so I guess this is a pretty popular YouTuber And then she wanted to do a thumbnail with her son Because I guess something happened to their dog

Like it died or something So she wanted to do a thumbnail of them crying And I guess she put that video out, didn't realize it She didn't edit it No I'll show you this video right now A lost dog maybe And he's really crying about the dog

I am crying Oh boy Well she's She's pretty hot Hey let's give her a pass She's a hot It's a little embarrassing She's a little embarrassing

She's smoking It's just a little embarrassing It's fucking cring It gets worse Oh no Oh man I love my life She's crying

He's a mama It's embarrassing Oh god I hate this I hate this Look at this Oh my god I'm so irritating

dude cancel her right now that is not hot anymore oh my god wow she's wild so what happened to her they deleted she deleted it of course she's just a lot of fucking she's trying to pay her bills

what was the what were they sad about I did the dog went missing or died something like that he's all that's pretty funny he said it's pretty fun yeah oh no new puppy's sick their puppy's sick

yeah oh god But I mean, just the way she did it with her son That son's not learning crap Yeah, fucking horrible That kid's like, what the fuck is running with mom? Yeah, it's just That's so heartbreaking

The kid's like, I'm actually crying I know I'm actually fucked up The Len sucks yourself God dog And I guess this would be the last one Rick Ross never had his driver's license So he finally got it at age 45

All right Hey, he's a bunch of cars Over 100 cars And he just gave his son For a 6th birthday of Buffalo wild wings okay dude imagine working on buffalo

wild wings a wing stop oh no he's the wing stop he's a 16 year old comes in as a can I'm the new boss my dad bought me the store

and that's your boss and make sure we fry those wings huh bud you know rick's really he turned it around a little he was like very fat he lost a lot of weight

yeah he's still he's still kind of chunky license yeah yeah he was huge yeah that's true all right he's doing well he went on a diet

yeah yeah he called it Ross fit instead of cross fit oh it's really good oh wow yeah he lost a lot shout out pears damn

damn what those tattoos have eaten pairs wow I like it when he's fat shout he's got an Abe Lincoln tattoo

that's it where he does is he on his stomach Abe Lincoln and George Washington oh yeah on his chest and the statue of liberty

dude this guy's a fucking patriot I'm a fan that it chin that's it that's it Shane, we love you. Go watch a special on YouTube right now.

It's one of the best you'll see all year. He's got tour dates as well. As Chrissy D. said, it's brilliant. It is brilliant. Look at that picture. Where are you going to be, Shane? Lafayette this weekend, then Austin for like a week, then Phoenix, Arizona, and then Milwaukee. So check it out.

Cool. I'll be in, where am I going to be buffing? I don't know. Denver comedy. Comedy works. September 23, 24, 25th. Get your vaccination or at least get a COVID test, apparently. Chicago, Illinois, the improv, Schaumburg Improv. I'll see you September 30th, October 1-2. And then Columbus, Ohio, Funnybone, October 8th and 9th. The next Friday and Saturday, I'm at the Bud Light Event Center in San Antonio, Texas. I got some dogs with me. I got David Lucas, Chappelle Lacey, Derek Post, and the whole crew will be there. We have special merch just for those San Antonio shows, special Think Boy Spurs-inspired merch.

One show Friday, one show Saturday. Bud Light Events Center. Get your tickets right fucking now, Texas. Denver, Colorado, September 30th through October 2nd. That's at the Comedy Works downtown. Mama, I got tickets for you. Keep asking. I keep telling you.

I have them for you. Las Vegas, Nevada. Wise guys, new club. We're outside Las Vegas. October 7th through the 9th. Then Brea, California is October 15th and October 17th. Dallas, November 11th. 11th and 13th. All right. Tickets at FATKZ.com. I love Dallas. Where you at backflip?

All right. October 7 through the 9th, I'll be in Tampa, Florida at size splitters. And then October 28th through the 30th, I'll be in Washington, D.C. at the D.C. Comedy Loft. Boom. Shame. We love you, dude. You guys are awesome. Thank you. All right. We're out. This time of year, the school calendar really starts to fill up. Spring activities, testing season, and that final push toward the end of the year. It's a great moment for kids. to stay focused and build confidence in what they're learning. That's where Iexel comes in. I Excel is an award-winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand their schoolwork, from math and reading to writing and science. It's designed for pre-K through 12th grade, with personalized interactive content that adapts to each child's level and pace.

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